Teen feeling low

[SafariRushHour]

I’ve a wonderful 15 year old. Sadly she’s become very low post pandemic, missing lots of meals, overwhelmed by places with people and the thought of trying new experiences, disinterested in her usual things, no motivation to study, isolating herself in her bedroom mostly and not reaching out to friends or family and not willing to talk to a counsellor. The GP has offered CAHMS but the waiting list is a year and a half. What can I do? We need help now. She is quite ridged in her thinking and resistant to help despite really needing it.

Can’t offer any advice but 18 year old DD is the same. Initially she enjoyed lockdown and had a really good summer with her friends, it was when it came to going back to school that things took a turn. She became very anxious, had no motivation to work and isolated herself from friends. Things were at their worst last year and have improved a bit but she’s still far from the outgoing and bubbly teen I used to have. It’s so sad to see her late teen years go to waste and I just don’t know how to help her

The most helpful book I've found is 'Why has nobody told me this before?' - it's written by a psychologist, and has really clear guidance on what to do and how to change thinking patterns. CAMHS is bloody hopeless - please don't rely on them.

She sounds like possible ASd.

My dd was like this. She was diagnosed aged 16 four weeks ago

Thankyou I’ve ordered this on your recommendation x

I think it might be a possibility, how did you get a diagnosis please?

I wrote all her weirdness down since she was tiny and took it to Gp. They referred her.

ld suspected it since she was 3 and refused to wear buttons(?), still won’t. Huge meltdowns after school, friendship problems and high anxiety in primary . Very rigid and black and white thinking. Refused to wear hats gloves or coats since about 2 and lots of sensory issues.

If you suspect that she might be autistic, then please DON'T follow the advice for dealing with anxiety! For autistic people, sensory and social overwhelm looks and feels very much like anxiety. It can often then trigger anxiety and the two things get very intertwined. The neurotypical treatment for anxiety is to go into the situations that make you a little bit anxious and reduce your anxiety through breathing etc. Then work up to the next thing (an anxiety ladder). If the situations that make you anxious also cause sensory overwhelm, then going into that situation will overwhelm you and actually make the anxiety worse - no amount of breathing and CBT will reduce the overwhelm. Treatment is far more complex and needs someone very experienced to help the autistic person untangle the sensory and social overwhelm and come up with strategies for reducing that before trying to work on the anxiety. Hope that makes sense!

For my teenager, finding the right meds has beenthe only thing that has started to help with the anxiety (sertraline), but this involves paying for a private psychiatrist and having a lovely GP who is prepared to prescribe on their recomendation.

This list can be helpful when thinking about whether an autism diagnosis might be appropriate: https://the-art-of-autism.com/females-and-aspergers-a-checklist/
It uses 'aspergers', which is not a diagnosis any more, and is pretty problematic in the autistic community, but it was written by someone who uses this term for herself.