I'm full of mum guilt

[Andjustlikethatihadnoclue]

My almost 4 year old has driven me crazy today. Going through a terrible stage of not listening, doing what he wants, shouting, acting out etc. I'm literally out of my depth. Today at a garden centre he broke 2 things because he had to pick up everything and grab etc no matter what I said. Fell of his chair because he wound by sit properly dispose warnings. Constantly screaming and shouting when he doesn't get something he wants.

I'd had enough by the time I got home and shouted back on several occasions then proceeded to cry! Which made him cry.

Feel Out of my depth and like I have no clue how to parent a 3/4 years old 😭😭😭

Don't feel guilty. At 4 years old, he should really know not to pick things up when asked etc so maybe a telling off will be enough to discourage him in the future. Please don't feel bad! :)

I can't help it, I've shouted so much today my throat is actually sore.
He doesn't listen. When I threaten that we will leave if he does it again he screams even louder pushing me when we actually try and leave somewhere. It's absolutely terrible and makes a massive scene.

I don't know how to make him listen to me. He seems incapable of doing it

Abandon any shopping, pick him up or take his hand firmly, walk him out of the store, into his carseat and home. He's at that age so you just need to ride it out. Shouting as you've seen does nothing. At home just let him tantrum then when he's finished a quick talk and cuddle. Naughty step really worked for me but I can imagine your DS simply ignoring you ☹️

@username8888 He won't walk out the store though, it's a full on screaming scene pushing me not to go. He's loud. I mean very loud.

Naughty step doesn't work as he just screams the whole time he's there and fights going to it. It's manic

I don't know what to do

The first thing to do is have a cup of tea. This is not the end of the world.

Your job is not to control your child perfectly, your job is to model good behaviour and respond appropriately to bad behaviour. Focus on calming yourself and get more tactical.

My first question is: why did you go to the garden centre in the first place? This is not a criticism, but it is worth thinking about what situations you put yourself in. If you feel too embarrassed to pick him up and march him out, don't take him to that venue in the first place. Take him to the park where he can run off some energy, rather than a (probably boring) garden centre full of breakable items.

It doesn't matter if he is loud!

Can only remain calm, get on his level. Firm boundaries and follow them through.
Are his basic needs met? Why's he acting like this? What are the triggers?
This helped me so much x