Was it a mistake to accept this job

[isthisamistakeornot]

I returned to work two years ago after having my second child (just turned 3). I also have an older child (age 6).

I currently work 24 hours a week. I fell into it by accident as my old job ended when I was on maternity leave so I was offered this instead. I hate the job itself and don’t particularly like the culture or many of the people I work with, although my line manager is lovely.

On the days I’m at work I feel really depressed and lethargic as I just feel like my life is ticking away doing pointless rubbish 😂 But it’s so flexible and it’s 3 days a week, only one of which is in the office…

I have been offered another job which looks really good and is much more in line with what I want to do long term. But it’s 30 hours a week (4 days) and even though I think I will enjoy it more it is likely to be much more stressful. I am already worrying about what will happen if one of the kids are sick etc as I doubt it will be as easy for me to just cancel things and work from home the way it is in my current job. Also my head is always so full of all the stuff I need to get done for the kids/school/wider family etc and I’m doubting I’ve got the headspace for something more challenging (I realise that sounds pathetic but it’s true!)

The pay is similar for both although obviously I’ll earn more by increasing my hours - and I won’t actually have to pay anything extra for childcare because of how it all aligns with my DH’s job.

If I wasn’t a parent I’d go for the new job but I’m worrying I’m making a huge mistake and that swapping my current “easy but miserable” job is something I will regret. How do I decide what to do?

Do you think there is any way of getting more satisfaction out of your current role - taking on extra responsibilities or a project? Do you feel disconnected because you're only in one day a week and wfh the others?

I’m torn on this - that’s probably what I’d suggest to a friend in my position but honestly I think the problem is that I don’t really believe in what the whole team is doing, so an extra project is unlikely to motivate me that much.

Also it means I lose one of the few benefits of my current role which is minimal stress and therefore plenty of headspace to think about general life admin, organising stuff for the kids etc etc.

But maybe I’m just looking at it far too negatively…I feel like I’m caught in a bit of a negative spiral right now.

It's about being organised and compromising so on the extra day you work could it a simple pasta bake in the oven for tea. In our house DS has a change of school uniform for everyday that goes in the washer in one load on a Friday. House work is skipped if I've got a big project at the same time as DH is on shift it's fine it just means it takes 10 minutes extra the next time. Sick days are shared (DS is 9 realistically he's had about 6/7 days off to total), he's only off if he's really sick a cold = cuddle and juice in the water bottle bThings like costume for school etc are ordered the day the letter comes home (I try and home make but if I'm busy it's an Amazon job). Family planner is updated in real time if it ain't on the planner it doesn't happen.

Going backwards describes it exactly!! When I was applying for jobs this time I realised I actually felt like I had less things to say in order to sell my skills and experience than I did a few years ago.

But…it is my non working day today and I haven’t thought about my current role for a second except for on this thread. That’s how low stress it is. Will I regret that… 🤔

Do you honestly want to do a miserable boring job just so you have more brain space for life admin and organising your children? Really?
You will still be part time in the new job, that should give you enough “life admin” time no?

Are you 100% responsible for any child-related emergencies? You know I’m going to ask now if their father can take his fair share?

hoestly I can only imagine your self confidence at work going down over time in your current job making it harder and harder to get out.

You make some excellent points! Very fair.

No I’m not 100% responsible for childcare emergencies but DH also has a stressful job and we have no outside support, so I feel like I could be setting ourselves up for quite a stressful situation.

I did a similar jump although my children were a bit older (my youngest was seven). It was right before Covid so I did slightly regret it when we were working from home and home schooling.

But other than that I do not regret it at all. I’ve had a promotion since so I earn almost twice what I had before. I feel fulfilled and I’m also an excellent role model for my two children who see me at work and want to be like me. Sometimes it’s stressful and I have (short) moments of wondering why I do it. But overall for me it was a really great step.

The longer you stay in the job you dislike the more you’ll feel stuck there and the lower your confidence will fall. I vote go for it.