Don’t know how to play with dd (5).

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I have a 5 year old dd and am at a complete loss as to what to do after school now it is dark. She loves outdoor adventures, being in the park etc, but that isn’t feasible now. When she was little (last year!) we had to walk the dog each evening, but now we don’t I’m utterly lost.

She doesn’t play with toys, and never has. She loves soft toys and will colour her playmobil animals in with felt tips but that is as far as it goes. We do bake and do arts and crafts, but they last five minutes and usually end in tears. All she wants to do is watch tv and I’m not ok with just letting her sit there after an hour or so, and in all honesty she doesn’t really watch it anyway, she just wants it on in the background and complains of boredom. We went swimming 4 times last week because I couldn’t think what else to do.

Up to this point we haven’t done too well with board games, but I think she has been too young up to this point (and anything with turn taking ends in tears too).

Can anyone suggest anything?

Softplay? Could see if other parents also want to go?

Don’t you build dens in the house? Sheets, towels, boxes all leant against a chair or over a table. We used to try and have them in an area we didn’t need so they could stay up for a few days. If you join her inside occasionally she might play happily the rest of the time with just her soft toys as occupants. Great place for tea after school! Or for reading together.

Tea parties with soft toys, puzzles, arts and crafts, make Christmas cards?

Could you still go for a walk? Wrap up and see how many Xmas trees you can spot in the windows

As for baking - do you have lots of cookery books? Set her the task of finding the best chocolate cake recipe, or whatever, investigating whether you have the right ingredients - and then make it together.

And do you play music at home? Radio or streaming or whatever. Listening and talking about and imitating/emulating musicians and singers can’t help but be fun. Perhaps she might discover an instrument she’d like to try herself?

Tea party with soft toys? Games like Snap? DD is 4 in Feb and doesn't have the attention span for board games but does enjoy a round or two of Snap (although she's a terrible cheater ). Does she like playdoh? DD has an ice cream maker playdoh thing that we use together, her making me different 'ice creams' and toppings.

I was going to suggest making dens too, that’s always a winner in our house! Or any kind of role play? Maybe playing doctors with her soft toys… get some
Plasters/bandages/thermometer and take turns treating the ‘patients’?
Or set up a little shop eg a grocery shop with tins/packets out of the cupboard and write some price labels and use an old purse with coins in it to pay or a shoe shop with your shoes/her shoes and print out a measuring guide from online and use this to measure each other’s feet and try on all the shoes
set up a little pretend office with any notebooks, post its, pens, paper, stapler etc….
If she has any play food you could set up a little cafe for her toys and write out/ draw some orders (with food/drinks she has) on scraps of paper, set them beside each of the toys and she has to serve them the correct food?
I would highly recommend the book ‘five minute mum’ by daisy upton for loads of brilliant ideas with objects you have lying around the house. Great tips for promoting numeracy and literacy in fun ways too!!!

You can still go for walks without the dog

Let her mess up at the sink with water. Add lots of pouring cups/ sieves etc. Usually children love that. Give her large sheets of paper to draw on. Puzzles/ stories/ playdough/building stuff
You don't need to play with her all the time..just let her potter around on her own and she will find things to do. Maybe focus her Christmas gifts this year on stuff she could play with by herself even if it's not toys , as such.

Small world play with her dolls house? My favourite was doctors or hairdressers where I got to sit and do nothing and be tended to.

I'd invite a friend over once a week, go swimming once a week and if she has the energy another activity like dance or gymnastics.

If she's the active, exploring type are there any museums you can take her to? Or the library? Or even a church?

Small world play
Role play- shops/ hospitals/ school etc
Outdoor play - search outdoor learning ideas or making crowns by adding natural materials to a strip of card (double sided sticky tape)
Make nature wands
Whittling using potato peelers
etc

Disco light and dancing in the kitchen. We do old classics like Black Lace's Superman, Agadoo, Disney songs etc.

Can you do walks anyway? Wrap up and take a torch, it’s a bit exciting for them. Then you can cuddle up with hot chocolate and colouring after

I had one (boy) who was just not interested in toys or imaginative play. Ditto crafts / painting: he got bored and wandered off after 10 minutes, leaving me to ‘finish that one off mummy’. 🙄

we did a lot of walks in the park, even when cold. A lot of play dates / playgroups. And lots of CBeebies I’m afraid. We’re in France where he was in school from 8am too 4:30pm four days per week at that age, so tbh I reckoned his days were quite full in anyway.

Age appropriate board games, and part of the fun is Mummy letting you win. My little girl managed to tell me that she was tired and never gets to win at school so she wants me to let her win when we play last thing at night. Don't go there if you think board games are sacred and must be brutally fair and you learn through failing and hardship (that's Daddy's family). Orchard toys do nice games, get the younger ones. Also brightly coloured pairs and go fish. Sorry. Sophia the first game. Snap (very easy to lose at snap, top trumps is very hard to lose at deliberately). If you go into it as a way to connect and spend time it can be great fun.

You have my sympathy my DS was the exact same, hardly looked at a toy.

Does your DD do any after school clubs? DD(6) does rainbows which really gets her energy out. She will play with toys if I join in but also spends lots of time making PlayDoh cakes or looking through my Mary Berry books planning what to make at the weekend. She will also put on her rollerskates and practice in the living room if she can't go outdoors. I don't have much time to play with her much mid week but she just potters about. She does have a Switch but that is for Sunday mornings so I can get coffee in peace.

My dd doesn’t really play with toys either, but she is really into arts and crafts, sticker books are a big win, colouring, painting, playdough, magic sand all keep her busy. As others have said also try orchard toys or card games like Uno.

And cooperative board games. Feed the Woozle, Hoot Owl Hoot, Max the Cat, Snug as a bug in a rug all good for that age.

Thank you all so much. I got really worried that I had failed in teaching her how to play, but all of your ideas are fab!! Thank you xxx

Does she not have school work.
My 5yr old has sounds, reading and online maths games. We usually snack once in, a couple of maths games, she also likes to draw and write sentences (mummy how do you spell ....) and then it's cbeebies until dinner at 5.

Going out in the dark is really exciting! Get some glow sticks, look at Xmas lights, go to the play park.

Some kids just want to be outside (as do I).

Dance party, sensory baths, pretend jewellery