Tips please- morning people

[Was1anddone]

DH gets up with baby and has her until he starts WFH @ 9:30, and has her solo for a couple of hours after he finishes work each night too. This is my hobby/exercise/me-time. I am a SAHM.

I’m finding that I am sleeping through my morning slot (baby sleeps in 3-4 hour blocks, normal baby stuff but yes I suppose I am tired). I am then so exhausted by the evening as she is at the age that needs constant interaction that I use my evening ‘break’ to play on my phone and hide in the bath. I am finding each day feels wasted and a drudge of musical light up toys, changes and bodily fluids. I am really lucky that I have at least 4 hours a day solo to do as I please, but I’m finding the sleeping in is wasting a big chunk of it.

I really want to exercise in the morning. I have a really good home gym and was pretty good at getting in there when she was a sleepier baby and the days were longer and brighter.

Those who get up early each day, to exercise or to enjoy the quiet, what do you do? I have tried to lay my stuff out the night before and I still just choose to sleep! I would be getting up at 6:30/7 so definitely not too early, I’m just choosing warm snuggly bed instead of something productive.

I think you probably need the sleep! Can you do more in the 'day' with your baby too? Take to playgroups or swimming? Go for a long walk at nap time?

You have my sympathies....

I too would choose the bed. - especially in winter!

Don't pressure yourself though- enjoy relaxing!
What helps me is to make a to do list and follow a "structure/routine" if I really want to achieve and get up early... have a 1 year old alarm clock stops any form of lie in though sadly!

Sorry no tips from me (never been a morning person!!). But I also have a baby and I would also choose sleep 😬

How old is the baby?

It's ok to sleep if that is what your body is asking for.

We get out in the pram everyday. We go swimming once a week too. We’re going to do sing and sign when she’s six months as that looks interesting.

I meet a mum friend once a week too.

There are playgroups happening regularly in my area but I’m not interested in adding more to the calendar. We have a good balance as it is and I’m not really craving social interaction. I go out with my pre baby friends often and DH is really present.

the sleep isn’t making me feel refreshed. I wake up from my lie in feeling groggy and shell shocked.

Just sleep. If you’re not a morning person you’re not a morning person.

If your baby is not yet 6 months old, your body may well still be recovering from pregnancy and birth. Don't forget you've spent 9 months growing and nurturing a baby prebirth! Listen to your body and sleep. There will be time for "productivity" down the line!

Don't laugh - I got a teasmaid. An actual, old lady 1980s teasmaid. I set it to make my cuppa and wake me up for 6.20 then when my phone alarm goes at 6.30 I have a nicely brewed cuppa waiting for me.

I move my top pillow to the 'seating' position and sit up (so can't go back to sleep) and enjoy a couple of minutes of mindful thinking about the day - positive affirmations sort of thing.

Then I spend 20 minutes coming to / clearing emails / scrolling MN before getting up. By then I am wide awake and rocking!!

If you're getting up feeling groggy after going back to sleep for a bit then it might be a timing thing. Try setting an alarm for an interval of 45 mins, which is a sleep cycle I think. So say an hour and a half. Might help. Re getting up itself though it's best to chuck your feet out of bed and sit up before your brain catches up. Clothes on. Get it done.

So baby is very young.

I'm a morning person and am up at around 5:40 every day. I take that time to shower and have some quiet before the kids get up. BUT my kids are both older and sleeping through the night. I get solid nights and time alone in the day when they're at school / preschool.

Pre 6 months I did 1 maybe 2 gym sessions a week because I was bloody knackered (and breastfeeding so couldn't get away for long)

Sleep, have the bath and play on your phone. Perhaps take her into the home gym during the day. Set up a play area for her and let her crack on. She doesn't need constant entertainment.

I’d choose sleep over anything else. But if you have a home gym, does it have to be a solid morning slot? Could you go in there for short bursts here and there? I find I can get quite a bit of home-based exercise done that way… I don’t bother getting changed as it just feels like extra effort. I exercise in my PJs sometimes - the additional step of getting dressed makes me procrastinate and avoid. You could do the ‘productive’ stuff every other day or just a couple of times a week… every day, twice a day might be too much at the moment.

Thanks for the help so far. I love the teasmaid idea!

I mean some posters have meant well- but I’m really not interested in replies telling me to sleep or to look after myself. I can nap when my baby does, or go to bed earlier, or use my afternoon slot to nap. I am trying to look after myself!

waking up groggy and then having to take over sole charge of a baby is not making me feel good. It’s making me feel sluggish and depressed not being ready for the day until gone 11.

all I want to do is get up at 7am, enjoy a nice baby free coffee and go on my peloton for 30 minutes, or run on my treadmill for 20, or do a 10 minute YouTube exercise. And shower for the day.

my current morning is waking up when DH has to start work, feeding a hungry baby and attempting to get myself ready with a very alert baby. My days don’t need to start like this.

No one needs to act like I’m trying to get up at 5am to train for an Ironman 😂this is self care for me!!

How many hours of sleep are you actually getting and in what kind of chunks?
Do you think you're feeling groggy from over sleeping?
I'm a morning person, can be up and about so long as I've had around 6 hours of sleep ( even when it was broken sleep) and if I lie in I feel sluggish and worse than if I'd just got up feeling like I needed more sleep.

I'm a huge morning person. I'm at my best at 6am and totally gone by 3pm. I hate 'wasting the day' by being in bed too late.

But with my first I was very much as you describe. DH would bring me a cuppa when he went to work and I'd feed baby and lounge in bed for a while then get dressed with baby in a bouncer in the bathroom. We'd not be fit to leave the house until about 11.

This changed when he was 6 months and was in his own room (and it was summer) I'd get up with DH and get dressed before he was up at 7.

With my second I couldn't do that as I had to get eldest to nursery. My DD was an amazing sleeper and would sleep 10pm to 5am from about 8 weeks old. I wouldn't go back to sleep after the 5am feed and I'd just get up and get dressed while she still slept.

What time is the last night feed? Would this work for you.

I think movement/activity might help you, I feel a hundred times better for doing it.

I find a commitment helps, I have a peloton and the UK Ladies peloton has monthly challenges and an early
morning rides schedule so I feel I’ve made a commitment. Niche suggestion
but it works. Could you have an accountability buddy who you check in with? The exercise boards on here are great.

I lay out gym clothes the night before and tell myself I need to do ten minutes. 9/10 I carry on but sometimes I stop after ten minutes and sit quietly with my coffee.

I second @FusionChefGeoff idea. I’ve got a hot water dispenser by my bed, I have 2 coffees when I wake at 5.50-6 then I feel awake enough to get up. Dog and I are usually out by 7 and exercise done by 8.30. Just in time for a shower before work.

Have you read Atomic Habits by James Clear. I found it a bit life changing. I really recommend it

Agree, Atomic Habits book will be helpful to help you set up your environment for your habits.

If it were me, I'd split the difference a bit. Get my phone to play radio 4/radio 6 from 7 and lie coming round in bed with an alarm to get me up at 7.30.

In my house, I'd have to plan my free morning hours so the child didn't see me and thwart my plan for my time 😀

Regarding the afternoon slot, one of my tricks is to get my gym kit on. If you put on your kit, it's obvious you are going to hand over the baby and head straight onto the bike.

Have you tried one of the apps that wakes you up at the right time in your sleep cycle? Or else one of those daylight alarms with the light(can't remember the name). You're very lucky to have such a supportive DH and time to yourself, I would have killed for that when mine were small!

“the sleep isn’t making me feel refreshed. I wake up from my lie in feeling groggy and shell shocked.”

I’m like this too. I end up with a thick head and backache if I lie in. So I stopped. Now I just get up and wake up slowly with a cuppa (have been known to take a flask to bed the night before so I don’t have to move from my bed), sit and write down what I have to do that day, or just stare into space/out of the window for a while, a few yoga stretches and twists (still in bed), nice shower and get dressed and then I go into the day feeling far less stressed than if I have a lie in and then rush around in a groggy, achy mess.

This is a form of self-care too. You don’t have to be “doing something” just because you’re awake. Enjoy the down-time

I end up feeling groggy if I’ve dozed in and out of sleep for a while. But if I’ve been properly fully asleep I don’t feel groggy.

Do you think this might be what’s happening- if so I recommend earplugs and door shut so you aren’t semi listening to DP and baby during your lie in.

I used to go out long daily walks with my DC when they were small to keep fit and get fresh air. Would have struggled to go to a gym. It's easier to incorporate your exercise time into daily life with your baby there. You may find you need your sleep in the morning, so there's nothing wrong with that.

If you are getting a decent amount of sleep and still waking up groggy and exhausted, it is worth getting your thyroid levels checked. Its very common for them to get knocked out of whack post pregnancy and the main symptom is tiredness and grogginess. While you are at it, get you iron, ferritin, Vit D and B 12 checked too. If you cant be bothered with the struggle for a GP appointment, you can pay and use MediCheck or another private lab service.

If you dont have any clinical issues, then make a commitment for a week and get up when DH gets up with the baby (5 days only, the weekends are lie ins) and then get in the shower immediately. You might find that after a week your body clock gets shifted a bit and it is easier to get up. If you time it to be getting up with DH you can ask him to encourage you..which will probably help