Just typed this then the webpage crashed!
So here we go….
Im female late 30’s DP of 13 years is mid 30s. We’ve started talking babies. We have a house, financially we’re stable, good jobs, etc.
But I think I’m having a mini mid life crisis!
I have a crush on someone at work - he’s early 30s, in a senior role, he’s lovely to look at, and he seems genuinely interested (as in, he listens properly … no clue if this extends to romantic interest. He mirrors me a lot, is complimentary etc. but that’s probably more because I’m a ‘key stakeholder’ at work: I am not looking for this to go anywhere (past enjoying the view!) But it has made me reflect… the crush has come from somewhere. And I think I’m bored - DP doesn’t listen to me, we don’t connect properly, our sex life is in desperate need of excitement, and it feels so mundane. It feels like we’re friends.
Ive never had this type of ‘crush’ on DP. We met at work, became friends, and just started ‘hanging out’. It evolved into a relationship. I do love him but it’s not what I thought ‘the one’ would feel like (possibly corrupted by films and social media here though!)
So now I’m thinking I have a couple of options (tell me if I have more!);
- stay with DP, maybe have a baby*, put effort in, try to find a spark again. Recognise that one relationship isn’t enough for me, so expand my circle of platonic friends/get out more. Maybe get a new job to give me more interest and excitement (not needed to stop me cheating or anything! as I won’t, but I’ve been where I am for 10 years so a change could be good) This is the sensible option, it feels ‘correct’
- jump ship… explore the world. Be adventurous. This is what my heart wants… but grass is always greener! This feels like the naughty bit of my character that DP doesn’t ‘get’ breaking out.
- ponder some more and hope the crisis passes.
*re having a baby - I’m on the fence, I like ‘having family’ but the realities worry me. And if I’m feeling like this now, is it fair on a child etc. but DP would be a fab dad. He would properly be the one going part time at work (he’s already part time - 4 days a week. I’m the career driven one. He’s like this stable rock and I’m more like the lake around it…. My mum says I can be like a sea of calm when it’s needed, but I also mould people and things around me, I’m good at cutting through things and smoothing out jagged edges…. and I can have a strong undercurrent at times as I’m always thinking! ).
Any thoughts/tips/options/stories about what you’ve done when you reach these crossroads in life?