Suddenly can’t stand husband: help?

[postnatalnamechange]

I’ve just had a baby 6 weeks ago. Second baby, first is 3 years. DH and I have been together for more than ten years, always been quite happy! Until a couple of weeks ago. Suddenly his scent is repulsive to me (he’s also full of cold, so maybe this is a baby protective instinct?) but I also feel quite irritated by him.

DH is doing most of the childcare for our older child when he’s not at nursery. He’s a gorgeous boy but also very 3 and pushing lots of buttons and limits now, especially since his world has rocked with the arrival of the new baby. But my usually patient DH has been more short-tempered with DS in the past couple weeks than I’ve ever seen him. I’d say it’s sleep related, but I’m up doing nights with the baby so DH and 3 yo can sleep.

Suddenly DH is almost repulsive to me and I can’t imagine how or why we are together, or how on earth we will continue together. I’ve thought maybe we should just get divorced and am remembering small things from the past, normally I’d never dredge anything up but now finding some resentment that I suppose I’ve buried, but nothing particularly meaningful.

Is this a normal hormonal change? Will it get better? We are also trying to buy a house so loads of stressors. But I’ve never experienced this and feel a bit troubled by it.

Thank you have a nose problem not a husband problem.

I've read another recently with women describing the same issue. I don't have personal experience of it op, but you're not alone! It seems to be hormonal and shall pass.
Congratulations on your new baby!

Hormones. It will pass.

youre both exhausted and tiredness does cause short temper just look at your toddler for proof of that

cut your dp some slack he’s knackered

Thank you for the replies. Yes I’m certain I don’t smell like roses either! It’s just that I’ve never felt so suddenly upset with him. This morning he was getting DS ready for nursery and he refused to get dressed. DH raised his voice and said “I’ve had enough!” And walked out of DS’s bedroom and slammed the door whilst I was downstairs settling the newborn. And I just thought, “Who are you??” And honestly wondered if we should get a divorce.
now that I’m writing it out I see it is a bit hormonal but it feels so real. Even when I nap in our bed, his scent on the pillow that I usually adore is completely repulsive to me.

Normal! Just ride it out. Your hormones won’t be helping and it’s tough for you both getting into the groove of dealing with two, especially as it’s a bit transition for your 3 year old as well.

I recon hormones. I'm perimenopausal and I could cheerfully bury mine under the patio some days.

Is this your last baby? If so it’s probably just biology making sure you don’t have any more! It will probably pass. I also think in any long term relationship (I’ve been married 15 years plus) it’s actually more normal than people care to admit to have moments where you can’t stand each other! As long as it’s not actually abusive stuff or cheating etc you can usually come through it. You do need to keep talking though - I think it would be good to tell him how his short temper with Ds makes you feel. Maybe he’s not actually aware he’s doing it? Having a baby and a toddler is enough to make anyone want to scream!

@Afterfire yes, last baby, I’ve even had my tubes tied! I reckon you’re right and I should just have a chat with DH but it’s hard to find the time or energy.

@Allmarbleslost yes, under the patio seems like a right good spot for him at some moments!

@abyssofwoah Thank you for the reassurance. It’s just come on so suddenly and I’ve never felt like this before. I feel guilty as I know he’s trying his best and doing loads.

It's your hormones, I was exactly the same after dd. All of a sudden it passed and I was back to normal. Scared me how close I was to leaving him and how much I would have regretted it.

I feel exactly the same and DD is 6 weeks old.
I can't stand DH. Everything he does is irritating or selfish even though it's not in reality. Apparently all I do is moan at him.
He's a nobber.

No baby here but I remember being constantly annoyed at DH when I was very stressed a few years back. In my case it was work and a boss with about the same level of reasonableness as a 3 year old so maybe something there?

The smell thing definitely hormones. When I was pregnant with ds1 and didn't yet know, dp suddenly smelled overpowering. He was showered and wearing deodorant, so not bad per se. Just so strong it was unpleasant. Your lack of sleep and all round disruption from the new and very demanding housemate will also not be helping your general annoyance.

@fairgame84 sorry you’re going through this too, it’s awful!

@badgermushrooms yes definitely stress-related, there’s so much going on at the mo

thank you all for the support, was beginning to think I’d gone mad xx