would you move to another part of the country on your own in your 60s

[MarmaladeFatkins]

maybe late 50s? just considering my retirement. I want to live near the sea, I know where I want to go to. it's nearly 3 hours from where I would have lived for the last 30 years. i will have 2 grown up children by then that will probably stay in this place. can't decide if it's a stupid idea, because I will know no one..

How outgoing are you? My DH's grandmother moved to Bournemouth to be near the seaside in her early 90s. We worried it would be a disaster as it was 2 hours from the nearest family but it's been 5 years and she still loves it. She was living in the countryside before and had a huge social network but now she just visits them regularly. Obviously it helps that she's still mobile and mentally as sharp as ever. She's also very outgoing and could hold a conversation with a brick wall if she needed to.

She moved to a flat and quickly persuaded the leaseholders to let her use the neglected areas out the front for gardening. She knows all her neighbours better than they know each other and keeps them supplied with bouquets for most of the year. She's made lots of friends from going to the local Am-Dram shows, becoming a regular at a couple of cafes and basically attending any local events for the fun of it. We tried to see if she was free for a visit before Christmas and have been told she's "booked up" until February but could squeeze us in on a random Tuesday if we like 🤣 We all feel a bit silly for worrying when she first announced her plans.

@MarmaladeFatkins I was living on the south coast and I moved to County Durham , giving up a job I loved, and moving away from my children and Grandchildren. I'd originally planned on moving in a couple of years in order to reduce or get rid of my mortgage, but I found a house by chance, and just jumped! I didn't have any doubts at the time. I found it all very exciting, but now I realise it was as a result of being a bit "lost" after my parent's deaths. Weirdly, years later I discovered that I'd moved to a house that was only about 4 miles away from where my Great Grandmother had been born and spent most of her life. I often visited that village, and wandered around, not knowing there was a family connection.

Yes, I think I could feel quite safe and secure there too - i'd just need a modest lottery win first😄

Did you mean your kids will be in the place you want to move to, or where you are now?

Do you think they'll have kids of their own? I suppose it would depend on whether or not you would want to be a hands-on grandmother or be happy to see them infrequently.

It's not a stupid idea at all - we only get one life! Am also a big fan of Rightmove-by-the sea

DH and I plan to do it, driven by me tbh because I’m the planner but DH is happy to go along with my plans. We are thinking in the next 5-10 years once dses are through university and settled.

I will still be working age but will step back in my career and get a lower band jo (NHS). DH is already retired.

We have considered a North Yorkshire town but as southerners I am not sure we would be totally welcome so we are looking to Isle of Wight which we both adore.

I think life is too short not to give it a go.

I’m not on my own but if I was, yes. But it would be to somewhere where I spend a lot of time already. I already know and socialise with many of the locals so no surprises or uncertainties about fitting in.

@superdupernova your DH's grandmother sounds amazing !

Near me there's regular walking groups that caters for long and short walks , knitting, craft, open sea swimming groups.history meet ups and photography clubs. Yoga, outside fitness for all abilities, dance classes, fishing, Angling club and windsurfing Lots a talks organised by WI or churches, at least 2 festivals a year plus food festivals that need volunteers, tennis and bowls club those are the ones can think of off the top of my head
We are a small seaside town with an aging population , lots to do if use choose the right location
I wish you luck

@superdupernova that's brilliant! 🤣

I think I would be more like the weird, recluse grumbling lady than a lovely social elder

Try it for a year by renting? It might well work out well, but you will need to build up a strong social network.

@CommaCommaDashDash I think it is true isn't it that seaside towns DO tend to be inhabited by older people don't they

Bloody hell - and she’s in her mid 90s!?!

That is fabulous

@BayCityTrollers I think life IS too short isn't it?? I have no doubt I would miss this place but that's ok isn't it. I've left places before that I have missed alot, but moved on to places and people that I have loved as much x

From your DC's point of view please don't!

We have had a nightmare 3 months with no end in sight because PIL Insisted on living 3.5 hours from us.

Now they are frail and in their 80s. MIL has largely undiagnosed dementia and cannot look after herself. FIL fell and broke his hip and ended up in hospital.

The result is that MIL is miserable living with us and FIL is miserable on his own 3.5 hours away.

DH and I spend everyday looking after MIL and drive a 7 hour round trip every weekend, £100 in petrol per week, to see FIL. It is draining and I am getting resentful.

If they lived nearby like we asked them to do many times this would be easier for all. But they did what they wanted, despite acknowledging that we would have to pick up the pieces eventually.

I moved in my late 50’s I have a partner but live largely alone one DC is 2 hours away the other is 6, I work. I live in a stunningly beautiful location in a tiny village I have lovely neighbours. In the beginning I was quite lonely and found it hard but now I’ve made 4-5 good friend participate in village/local activities and am very happy.
But I’m an outgoing friendly person unlike many on here I’ve no problems with people just dropping round unannounced and I have a dog it’s a great way of meeting other people.

Do it, I’m sure you sacrificed living in one place whilst your children grew up and into adulthood, it’s your turn now and it’s unfair to stay somewhere you don’t want to for the next few decades incase you get ill.

I did exactly that nearly two years ago, at the age of 63. I wanted a fresh start somewhere new and (inspired by a post on MN) I did a Rightmove search in an area I knew nothing about, other than it was by the sea and relatively affordable. It was over 300 miles from where I lived, so I came down for a few days to have a recce, found a house I absolutely loved that came on the market while I was there, and I moved in a few months later. I haven’t regretted it for a moment, in fact I wake up every morning, see the sea from my windows and feel so lucky to have found such a lovely place to live.

I'm getting to know people here (my dog is a great ice-breaker) but at my own pace, I love having no ties or history with the area and being able to build the life I want to lead. I have a village within walking distance, the beach across the road, and great transport links to London if I want to go anywhere else. I think part of what I love about it is that this is the first time in my life that I’ve not had to consider anyone else with my choice of where to live, and over the past two years I’ve felt the weight of obligation just lift from my shoulders in the most unexpected and liberating way.

I’d say be brave and go for it. Write your own future. Good luck!

I think it’s worth giving it a go. Could you rent your house and rent a house in the town? Or use an Airbnb for a few months?

I want to move when my kids finish education - two have severe special needs so will never be in a position to look after me and I would really love to be by the sea.

I did at 55. Moved 250 miles north and have never been happier.

What was important was that I did it before retirement, so I could make friends at work, joined local walking groups for friendship and moved to a village for community.

I believe in following your dreams. As long as you can give yourself a push to join social activities etc you will be fine. I plan to move in my late 40’s once my children have finished school and I have completed my studies. Area we live in is expensive and I cannot afford to buy a place yet but plan to once I move ….,

@abbey44 I love your story - very inspiring!! It does indeed sound very liberating.

Yes I would

My mum did thiS (73) …she moved from the SE to Sheffield into a housing estate with people over 55…she has met up with people on FB and is so much happier ….
she’s on her own but is confit able in her own skin (iykwim)

My parents did it - they weren't alone, obviously, but my mum's made a lot of new friends independently of my dad. They've also had far more old friends come to stay than I expected (unexpected because they moved somewhere kind of out of the way, not because they didn't have friends before!) I actually think that provided you're still healthy it's easier in some ways to make new connections once you're retired compared to when you're working full time and have children who aren't grown up yet, because you have time to socialise and so do most other people around your age.

Yes I would. But I already know I'm fine moving to new places by myself, have done a number of times.