Friend made awful joke about AIDS

[Wearpantsffs]

Am in the Drs surgery and bump into a friend who is there with her 17 year old.
Me: hi how are you, all ok?
17 year old: I’ve got AIDS
friend: yes, 17 year old has AIDS
Me: ???????

loads of people in the queue hear this. I am mortified

Neither of them have HIV or AIDS. This was a joke, apparently, and I am uptight because I am embarrassed.

This is a good friend of mine but she has all of these views/quirks that are just not compatible with my values. I don’t want to be her moral compass! What should I do?

I don’t think the OP was wanting a blow by blow account of their medical issues.

OP - your ‘friend’ is a POS. I would tell her so and never speak to her again.

Agreed

I also find the first few replies really weird. You’d actually punch someone in the doctor’s surgery in front of their child for making a tasteless joke? Really?

I think there's an awful lot of hyperbole on MN Shirley, either that or there are some violent people out there who you really don't want to cross - or tell a bad joke to 😁

As you said, “she has all of these views/quirks that are just not compatible with my values. I don’t want to be her moral compass!”. So drop her as a friend, you’re both not compatible.I suspect she’d be equally glad, I can’t imagine that she wants you to be her moral compass, either.

Agree with others saying it was an attempt to deflect from the real reason they were there - you never know, they might have been in shock from whatever happened in the appointment, and then your enquiry was poorly timed and caught them at a bad time.

I wouldn't end the friendship, I'd wait and see what comes out in time about the appointment.

'Rude'???? Are PP seriously saying it's rude to say 'Hi how are you?' It would be rude to ignore someone and not say 'hello'. 'How are you ' is a very bland and unintrusive follow up to that. It's not exactly 'why are you here to see the doctor?'

How are you ? Does not have to be interpreted as 'why are you here'. It's simply a greeting FFS.

They could have just replied 'good thanks, how are you'.

The aids response was stupid and even more inconsiderate given that OP has mentioned HIV person.

The fact that they answered back with an ailment shows that they took your question as why are you here rather than the general greeting you may have meant it as. It really sounds like they were there for a sensitive reason, were possibly upset or overwhelmed and were deflecting with a badly thought out 'joke'.

They were either deflecting or it's true and they regretted telling you and are now lying. I wouldn't mention it again, in either case clearly something is going on and they don't want you to know.

That's a very weird ' joke ' 😂

OP don’t buy cards against humanity for Christmas 😬

I think the 17yo didn't want to risk his mum giving you chapter and verse about his twisted testicle, so tried to shock you into not talking about it. She followed up to bat it back to him, not to be funny, but to embarrass him with his bad joke.

It wasn't really a joke from your friend as much as a bit of dealing with a teenager.

Well (in case anyone cares!) I spoke to her about it. Apparently it was just a joke, one that they thought I’d appreciate as I have a ‘dark’ sense of humour. Which I do…but not that dark. They can’t see there’s anything offensive about it.

I think you probably need to get over yourself OP

Wholly inappropriate in a doctors surgery.

Personally I don’t think it’s really that dark…poor taste yes, but I’ve made far grosser jokes in my time. Now wondering about my sense of humour…

Yes, kind if this. I remember when he told us all (New Years party). Always hated new year.