Struggling to manage two toddlers

[Lilacbluecloud]

I have a 3 year old and a 16 month old (22 month age gap). I work three days a week, so I do get a break from them, but I'm really starting to struggle with managing them on the two long days I have them. I love them, obviously, and they're great kids, but 5.30am-6pm with no break feels relentless. They won't play nicely together. I can't play with either of them without the other one ruining things in some way. I can't cuddle one without the other one getting jealous. The little one just wants to be breastfed constantly at the moment and the big one can be quite violent sometimes. I just feel like there isn't enough of me to go around at the moment and I'm being a really crap mum. Any advice or words of wisdom appreciated!

Park or soft play always worked for me and invite friends with DC

Mine are 22 months apart also. They never played together or even liked each other. DH is military so always away and I didn't work. I never left the house for for over a year. No advice sorry but once my eldest got her free nursery hours age 3 it broke the day up a bit.

I reckon spending all day at the park might just kill anyone. It’s fine for an hour and a half max.

I have exactly the same age gap and had the same working pattern.

Routine was basically my saviour... So I used to take them out in the morning (one day a week we had a 9.45am music class in a softplay which was perfect as the softplay was free so spent 45 mins or so there after the class), then home for lunch.

Both then used to nap until the eldest was just after 3... Younger one still obviously napped but for a while after eldest gave it up, I used to instigate 'quiet time' in her bed where she was allowed to play or rest. She'd only stay there for 30-45 mins if she hadn't fallen asleep but it was a bit of a break! And after we stopped that, she had a bit of TV whilst the youngest napped.

Then a bit of play time indoors or trip to the park, then another bit of TV whilst I did dinner...

It feels like it will go on forever, but mine are 6 and 4 now, both at school and completely the best of friends. They play sooooo well together ❤️

I had three children under four and lived in a county where children did not start school until the term after they were five. Hence three babies at home every day!

I admit I don’t remember everything about that experience as I think my brain has blocked it out but I think I only survived because I managed to get all three of them to sleep in the afternoon at the same time - so I could nap on the settee!

I did a lot of planning ahead, got lunch ready while eating breakfast so I could feed them as soon as we got in - one breast fed, next one needed spoon feeding and eldest ate finger food. I tried to go out every day and would get baby dressed first and settled in pram. Toddler came next, strapped in on a seat on top of pram ( a huge Silver Cross one) then finally my eldest had his outdoor clothes put on and off we went with him on reins. When he got tired, I let him climb into the shopping tray under the pram, probably not very safe but needs must!

All I can say is that this time will soon pass!

I have a 22 month gap (currently 2 and 4)

so I do routine and split the day into chunks so k always have the next thing to look forward to

wake up and they play for 30 mins in their bedrooms
breakfast
go out and feed ducks / park
early lunch
little one up for story and nap while big one watches a film or play in her room. I tidy up.
then we all do a table activity (colouring or something) when little one gets up
After this then little one gets to watch tv while big one helps me do the dinner (or sits on kitchen side and asks me 1 million questions)
dinner
straight in bath
backdown stairs, dad comes home and plays with them while I have a breakdown
milk, octonauts and then stories in one of their beds before I put them separately to bed

some on here will say it’s too much telly but honestly I it’s v hard and I judge no one for using CBeebies!