Joint birthday party - present etiquette?

[TheOtherBoleynGirls]

DC (10) is having a shared party with 3 other classmates - it's an expensive activity but going in together means we can afford to rent the place just for us all. We'll be inviting the whole class, and I'm sure each child will have outside school friends too.

We definitely don't want parents to feel they have to buy for all 4 children, especially as there are loads of classmates who, for example, my DC would never have invited to their own party if it wasn't shared.

is it acceptable to send out joint invites (which the children really want to do, they're excited it is a big joint party) but put a note on each saying which child they were "invited by" and to say clearly not to buy presents for the other children? I should add the party children understand this is going to happen somehow, there's no way any of them need 40+ presents.

It means a bit of awkward dividing up of the class as some of the children share friends more than others - but we were thinking this probably works out the fairest for everyone?

Just send out invites from your child only.

Or send invitation from all children but put no gifts necessary thanks.

I would send individual invites so guests won’t know it’s a joint parent until they arrive, I would probably still feel a bit like I should buy for the 4 of them if I knew it was a shared party.

*sorry I meant joint party not joint parent 😬

I think it'd be unkind to the children you're inviting to say they're only being invited by certain other children.

Just do the no gifts necessary thing.

Any friends who are invited from outside of school clearly explain to their parents there's no expectation of gifts for children they don't know.

If I knew all 4 I'd buy gifts for all 4 but if one of them was my nephew, for example, I'd just buy him a gift.

I think that you're being very thoughtful. Could you just invite them to the party as you would usually but add a comment along the lines of 'we know this is a joint party for 4 children, please dono get a gift for each child, it is too much! If you would like to buy a gift, please just gift it to X -a, b and c will receive gifts from other attendees'.