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Original poster

Need to go to hospital, can't get there. Fed up with no help

122 replies

Notwavingbutdrowningalone · 18/11/2022 12:59

I had ankle and foot fusions and a leg broken and pinned a week ago today.

I'm in a backslab plaster (plaster round back of leg, bandage over wounds to allow for swelling. Supposed to changed to a full plaster next Friday.

However, I've been given an appointment for Tuesday as he wants to see me sooner and it's "very important" I attend.

The appointment is also in a town 18 miles away, instead of my home one.

I can't attend. DH is working that day, having used leave for the op. Only dsis drives, but she doesn't want to do it

Clearly I can't get a bus and a taxi is too expensive, besides I am very, very wobbly on crutches and would need to transfer to a wheelchair.
I've spoken to the doctor's secretary who told me to phone the clinic, which I did in tears. The soonest appointment is December, far too late for bandage and stitches to be left.

I wanted to cancel the surgery, I knew it would be hard, yet family and friends convinced me, saying they would help...lying fuckers.

I'm just so down, alone and helpless.

OP posts:
Mariposista · 18/11/2022 13:50

Your DH needs to take the day off and your sister needs to know what a selfish shit she is. Get well soon!

Santagiveyoursackawash · 18/11/2022 13:54

Your dsis better have a good excuse op..

Lockheart · 18/11/2022 13:55

Mariposista · 18/11/2022 13:50

Your DH needs to take the day off and your sister needs to know what a selfish shit she is. Get well soon!

You have no idea of why the sister can't help that day. OP says she "doesn't want to" but given OP has totally thrown in the towel and given up after asking the grand total of two people I'd suggest there's a chance we're not getting the full story.

OP, you need to ask neighbours and friends. Look at the suggestions on this thread and approach your hospital and community for volunteers. Ask to borrow the money for a taxi from family or friends. There will be a way to do this.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
octoberfarm · 18/11/2022 13:55

Could you go back to your sister and let her know how upset this is making you and how much you're struggling? If she still doesn't want to help (and doesn't want to rather than can't), she's being really crap and I'd let her know how hurt you are.

I'd also second posting on a local group (I'd happily help someone in your position), looking into hospital transport and as a last resort, your DH calling in sick and taking you.

I'm really sorry you're in this position Flowers

goosegrease789 · 18/11/2022 13:55

Where are you op? Can you post on Mumsnet meet ups (carefully)?

I would gladly take you if I lived nearby.

FusionChefGeoff · 18/11/2022 13:57

Yes I'd take you too if you're near me

nomoreflyingducks · 18/11/2022 13:58

See if your GP surgery have volunteer drivers. Also check your local parish magazine or 'what's on magazine' if you have one, quite often they have volunteers who do 'taxi' runs to various hospital appointments, some run free transport, some ask for a donation, some charge a small fee (depending on who and how it's run).

Toddlerteaplease · 18/11/2022 13:59

Can you go through your GP and arrange hospital transport?

medicatedgift · 18/11/2022 14:01

That's literally what hospital transport is for though.

girlmom21 · 18/11/2022 14:01

goosegrease789 · 18/11/2022 13:55

Where are you op? Can you post on Mumsnet meet ups (carefully)?

I would gladly take you if I lived nearby.

Me too

LIZS · 18/11/2022 14:03

medicatedgift · 18/11/2022 14:01

That's literally what hospital transport is for though.

Exactly. You don't have to be alone or vulnerable, you have significant mobility issues which make other options difficult.

Nosleepforthismum · 18/11/2022 14:03

Well your sister sounds like a twat but beyond that this is not your families problem to solve. Your DH needs to take a day of unpaid leave, you need to find a friend, neighbour or acquaintance that can take you (pay them obviously) or get a taxi and put it on your credit card. Don’t start wallowing in self pity and put off being pragmatic. Your health comes before everything else so you need to get there no matter what.

MarmiteCoriander · 18/11/2022 14:04

In additional to the multiple other suggestions, join nextdoor.com in your area and ask on there. I often see requests from neighbours to help lift a sofa, move a cupboard etc. Worth asking.

Nosleepforthismum · 18/11/2022 14:06

girlmom21 · 18/11/2022 13:16

If she can't afford a taxi he probably can't afford unpaid leave

Show quote history

Honestly, there’s a lot of people that can’t afford to take a days unpaid leave but they have to because there is no choice and the OP is putting her health at risk by not going to this appointment.

antelopevalley · 18/11/2022 14:08

Silvers11 · 18/11/2022 13:42

Try hospital transport first. It's very short notice - so maybe no help there. But your health is THE most important thing. Could your OH drop you off at the hospital on his way to work and pick you up after he has finished work? Yes, a very long day but at least you would get seen. Alternatively if he REALLY can't get time off work ( maybe make up the hours over the next few days) You will simply HAVE to afford a taxi - at least to get there in time one way - and hang around until someone can come and collect you later

Try not to stress. You need to keep this appointment and that is all there is to it

I would do this. Your DP can drop you off before work at the hospital. You can sit in the cafe or waiting room area. And then he can pick you up after work. Not ideal, but probably the best solution.

antelopevalley · 18/11/2022 14:13

And my DP has sat waiting in hospital waiting rooms or cafes for hours until I can pick him up.
You would be there for about 9 or 10 hours? If you can take a tablet and charger you can use free hospital wi-fi. Take sandwiches, a flask and snacks, and then you can settle in. Look on the internet beforehand to find the best place in the hospital to wait for hours. There may be a central waiting room or a large cafe you can sit unnoticed for hours. At worst someone will ask if you are okay and just explain you have to wait until your DH finishes work to get picked up.
It won't be your best day, but at least you will get treatment.

mam0918 · 18/11/2022 14:13

Im lost by why 'Clearly I can't get a bus'?

Me and my mam are disabled and use to ride the bus everywhere due to not driving, my mams in a massive electric wheelchair set up and for a year I was in plaster from my leg and crutches like you discribe and we managed fine having to get the bus.

Disabled people ride the bus everyday, it really not uncommon for people in casts to be on a bus... they even have a mini bus station next to the hospital here (right by the fractures clinic building) because its such a common mode of transport.

RecoveringSodokuAddict · 18/11/2022 14:13

OP I'd gladly take you too (im in Yorkshire, not specific as I don't like to out myself).

FB a good one if desperate, even churches via their office (you'd be surprised who will help), DH, family should be helping as everyone else is saying.

Gosh I feel for you.

Seaweed42 · 18/11/2022 14:19

Have you actually asked your sister outright 'can you drive me to the hospital next Tuesday please?' or is the communication too difficult between you.

WheresMyDodo · 18/11/2022 14:20

mam0918 · 18/11/2022 14:13

Im lost by why 'Clearly I can't get a bus'?

Me and my mam are disabled and use to ride the bus everywhere due to not driving, my mams in a massive electric wheelchair set up and for a year I was in plaster from my leg and crutches like you discribe and we managed fine having to get the bus.

Disabled people ride the bus everyday, it really not uncommon for people in casts to be on a bus... they even have a mini bus station next to the hospital here (right by the fractures clinic building) because its such a common mode of transport.

She's not just disabled. She's recovering from an op with stitches in situ and lots of swelling, and probably in a lot of pain. You have no idea how far she lives from the nearest bus service or the likelihood that there's a bus from near her house all the way to the 18-miles-away hospital without having to make loads of transfers and stand around waiting for a bus in agony.
Get some fecking compassion and empathy for god's sake.

Epicstorm · 18/11/2022 14:20

Is there a back story re your sister? Is it she won’t help or she can’t help?

I can’t imagine not helping a sibling but I realise not everyone feels the same.

trilbydoll · 18/11/2022 14:22

There are several organisations round here that do hospital transport for a nominal fee, and can take wheelchairs etc. Mainly aimed at elderly people who don't drive. Dial A Ride, Hoppa bus, can't remember what the others are called. Worth Googling though to see if there is anything in your area.

medicatedgift · 18/11/2022 14:22

I don't understand why people are offering themselves and berating the sister and husband.

There's literally hospital transport services. They pick you up and drop you home. I've used them multiple times.

Just ring the hospital and ask for transport.

ZooTropia · 18/11/2022 14:22

Lots of villages towns have an organisation who will take you and bring you home for a nominal fee. half the price of a taxi, they are all very nice helpful people. Try asking at the doctors

Chicaontour · 18/11/2022 14:23

I am sorry you are feeling so low. Look up "Force Majeure", this is leave that your husband can take and doesn't impact Annual leave