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Original poster

Need help with poos!

26 replies

FebMama · 17/11/2022 13:19

Hi all

Apologies in advance. I have posted this in the potty training section a few weeks ago but didn't get much of a respond. So posting here for traffic and some luck!

My son is 2 years and 9 months old. Speech is extremely good, communicates very well.

He has been doing all of his wees on the toilet now since around June time. When we're at home all day, he only wears boxers. No pull ups until night time. However, he's still soiling himself in his boxers once a day. No matter how many times I ask him to tell me when he needs a poo or when I encourage him to do a poo when he's doing a wee.

He most definitely can tell us when he needs one, but point blank refuses to do it in the toilet! He hates the feeling of soiling his boxers too so I was hoping that the soiling himself would be enough to want to do it on the toilet.

I don't send him to nursery in pull ups. He goes in boxers and I have to pack enough spares in case of an accident.

Any tips? Was really hoping seeing he has been doing wees on the toilet for 5 months now, he'd have cracked the poos by now. Is this quite normal?

I've tried stickers, treats as a reward, lots of praise, modelling to him that "this is where poo poo goes" by physically putting his poo in there when he soils himself.

Expecting baby number 2 in 3 months so would love to have him completely out of nappies by then if we could!!! Thank you all in advance, any suggestions welcome ☺️

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Original poster
FebMama · 17/11/2022 19:01

Posting here for traffic clearly didn't work 😂

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Rainallnight · 17/11/2022 20:57

Hello. Is he doing full poos in his pants? Or just a bit of soiling? The reason is ask is that kids who are constipated can become impacted and ‘leak’ fresh poo around the impaction.

Either way, if I were you, I’d allow him to wear a pull up for poos. He’s still pretty young and this is not a battle you want to get into, lest it becomes a control issue for him and he ends up withholding his poo.

Have you looked at the website for Eric, the continence charity? It’s full of good advice.

Rainallnight · 17/11/2022 20:59

Ps getting your eldest out of nappies before a new baby comes is really over rated in my experience. An incompletely potty trained child or one who has issues with toileting is waaaaaaay more trouble than one in nappies. I speak from bitter experience!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families Potty training
newtolineofduty · 17/11/2022 21:10

Couldn't read and run as we had an awful time trying to get my daughter to poo on the toilet! She knew she needed it but would just poo in her pants in front of us! Urgh it was awful and went on for months! We tried a reward chart etc but that wasn't enough. In the end i saw someone on here recommending they get a little pressie every time they do a poo on the toilet. So I went to the pound shop and wrapped up loads of little bits and she could choose a pressie every time she did a poo on the loo. Safe to say it worked!!! Then we just had to wean her off the pressies! She did four poos in one day once so four pressies! We weaned her off pressies gradually by going to one pressie per day etc then once a week. Eventually it just became habit and she didn't ask for pressies. Went on a while and cost a fair bit but worth every penny! Good luck! X

upfucked · 17/11/2022 21:13

Poo goes to pooland app.

ScarlettOHaraHamiltonKennedyButler · 17/11/2022 21:17

My DD was like this, we did rewards and also got the 'everybody poos' book which helped a lot as she was quite disgusted by the thought of doing a poo in the potty. It worked a treat.

Original poster
FebMama · 17/11/2022 21:44

@Rainallnight thank you for the reply! Yes he's doing full poos on the toilet. Just today I took him for a wee on the toilet, which he did. I asked him if he needed a poo and in fairness, he tried to go but he said no it's not coming. Within 20 minutes he came waddling into the living room to tell me he had done it in his boxers!

And I'm starting to feel it would be less hassle pushing it now. I think it's the frustration knowing that he's managing to do wees and has been since June that frustrates me! If I were to put a pull up on him again, he would get lazy and continue wetting his pull ups so I feel we would be going backwards :(

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Original poster
FebMama · 17/11/2022 21:45

@newtolineofduty sounds exactly like what I'm going through! It's so exhausting. But love the idea of a little present. I have tried to encourage by using treats (Ie chocolate buttons) but that hasn't done the trick yet. Thank you for the suggestion!

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Original poster
FebMama · 17/11/2022 21:46

@upfucked never heard of this but will check it out!

@ScarlettOHaraHamiltonKennedyButler thank you I'll definitely check out the book. Anything at this point!!

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Potato28 · 17/11/2022 21:48

His 2 !
You really have high expectations of him

He may simply not have the ‘needing a poo sensation’ yet

Your pregnant and in a rush to get him out of nappies. But his 2!

newtolineofduty · 17/11/2022 21:52

@FebMama I think it worked because it's just the excitement of unwrapping a pressie! I got a mixture of things including little books and even little bits I'd found around the house like Mac Donald's happy meal toys etc that had belonged to her siblings! When she was doing four poos a day we had to get creative! 😂

HS1990 · 17/11/2022 21:52

I'm in exactly same boat. My DD is 2 years and 8 months and we having same dilemma. I find she needs more time to relax on the potty so I'm letting her play games on my phone and she usually goes. She will sit happily for up to 15 minutes. It's still no where where I am happy as she is still regularly pooping her pants. We hVe had a lot of change in the house recently and hoping she will pull out of this phase soon. Regression is normal so just persevere!

Hohofortherobbers · 17/11/2022 22:05

My dd did this, we made a huge fuss of her when she did in the potty, lots of praise and 'the poo dance' to celebrate. No disappointment shown when an accident happened, but we got her involved with having to clean up, had to stop what we were doing, head to the bathroom, she helped to take pants off, she helped to clean up. Try to make the soiling a little inconvenient for him so he is inclined towards using the potty or loo. Use the story poo goes to poo land and there's a song too, look up 'everyone has to go poo poo'. I remember consoling myself that at least it's in the pants, some parents have to deal with it on the walls!

Original poster
FebMama · 17/11/2022 22:19

@Potato28 I don't really think I'm having high expectations of him considering he's a very bright boy and has been using the toilet for the best part of half a year! Definitely not "in a rush" to get him out of nappies considering we have been on the road of toilet training since before I found out I was pregnant...
but thanks for your input 👍🏽

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Original poster
FebMama · 17/11/2022 22:20

@HS1990 always reassuring to hear of others in the same/similar boat! Is your DD okay with wees?

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Original poster
FebMama · 17/11/2022 22:21

@Hohofortherobbers getting him involved in clean up is a great idea but I fear will be more stressful 😂 will definitely check out the song too! Thanks so much

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spiderlight · 17/11/2022 22:40

Another vote for 'Poo goes to pooland'. It's like magic. We were in the same boat with our ds: I read him the story (back when it was a pdf you had to print out yourself) one bedtime and he did a poo in the toilet the next day and that was that!

Potato28 · 17/11/2022 22:49

Bright or not.
Doesnt mean that he ‘feels the sensation of poo’

Original poster
FebMama · 17/11/2022 23:20

@spiderlight thank you! I've downloaded the app. I'm hoping it'll be just as effective as a book but from what I can see, the content is the exact same!

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Rainallnight · 17/11/2022 23:29

OP, I think you really do have to consider the possibility that’s he’s not ready and that this isn’t the right time to push this.

Original poster
FebMama · 17/11/2022 23:46

@Rainallnight thanks for your suggestion, I do feel he is ready given his use of the toilet for his wees 🤔 surely if he wasn't ready then he'd be having constant accidents wetting himself wouldn't he? And honestly I'm not trying to push it as such. I have recently caved and gone back to using pull ups during the day and once he's done he's poo for the day (he typically just goes once), going back to his boxers. I'm just finding that when he has a pull up on, he reverts back to wetting himself in the pull up rather than going to the toilet which defeats the whole idea!

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HS1990 · 18/11/2022 13:33

Yes she is fab with wees

Threesmycrowd · 09/04/2023 20:22

Hi, @FebMama how are you getting on? Just found this thread after starting a really similar one about my DS (although it's only been 5 weeks for us...not good news to hear it lasted months for you)! Is it sorted now and if so how did you manage it?

Original poster
FebMama · 10/04/2023 05:01

Hi @Threesmycrowd! Sorry to hear you're going through similar.

We have finally cracked it! DS1 is now fully toilet trained. (Aside from nights that is, he still wears a pull up at night). He turned 3 in February.

DS1 and DS2 both came down with chicken pox recently so us having to stay at home was the perfect excuse to really try again. On the first day I just decided enough was enough and no more pull ups will be worn in the day, boxers only. He has accidents for the first 2-3 days. The odd day or two of withholding his poo and then like a switch, he just started doing it!

Things that helped was offering him a present after the first few times (we have a cupboard of unopened Xmas and birthday presents purely because he gets so much stuff! And used this as an incentive). Other things that we did was when he wasn't yet able to tell us "I need a poo", but we felt he needed one, I.e he was farting a lot, then I would stick him on the toilet and let him watch something on his iPad just to relax and take his mind off it. Before you knew it, he was shouting that he'd done it!!!

Now we are at point where he confidently tells me, "mummy I need a poo". And to my surprise, we have had zero accidents since!

Good luck, I hope it goes well for you x

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Original poster
FebMama · 10/04/2023 05:06

@Threesmycrowd just a note to clarify we didn't toilet train while he had chickenpox, that would have been cruel! 😂

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