help me come up with a good one liner

[lazybiatcrh]

my friends awful partner will be joining us on a long weekend next weekend.
if she is even out of his sight for a minute he starts crying out really loudly "where is lazy?" As if she's been sucked off the face of the earth . Usually she's just gone to the loo.
this happens every single time we are out. I just roll my eyes but it would love to have a witty reply at the ready.
Any ideas very welcome!!

She's realised what a fucking psycho you are and started running...

"I don't know, shall i call the police? maybe they'll send the search helicopter ou?"

thank you - they have actually been together quite a long time but i think his behaviour has got worse. she had a couple of unfortunate things happen which i think knocked her confidence and he has really capitalised on this.
She had some surgery and when any of us visited he actually sat in the bed with her while any of us were there. looking at his phone.
i offered to make coffees thinking he would do it and he huffed and puffed and looked pointedly at his watch!!
Many other things as well but this constantly asking where she is drives me insane

“She’s in a different league”