End of tether with glasses on DD

[GlassesHelp]

She’s 7, had glasses since age 4 (just before starting school).

Her pair before this one were her favourites she’s ever had, she’d sleep in the things if left to it. Wore them everywhere as they were her favourite colour. Her favourite teacher at school wore a very similar pair for awhile as well which made them even better. She had them about 18 months and they were repaired so many times they became unrepairable.

She was gutted as they didn’t make those frames anymore so she had to choose a new pair as hers where literally falling apart in my hand.

She reluctantly chose a new pair, after we scoured the local Specsavers, Scrivens and Vision Express several times over. It took her about 3 weeks in all, all that time her falling further behind at school as her old glasses could not be worn.

Now she refuses to wear her new ones. If we go get her in them she takes them off when our backs turned. Even her favourite teacher (mentioned above) saying she loved the glasses hasn’t helped. We’ve had them adjusted more times than I can count, we’ve shown her the difference in her school work with and without the glasses, we’ve taken away her activities until she wears them but nothing is working. If we ask she just shrugs and says no. School will ask her once but not force her and she doesn’t tell them if she’s struggling or got a headache (I can tell as she’s more exhausted and telling me everything is hard) so they just leave her be.

I will add she has some SN (Not ASD or Autism) and is supported at school for this hence the favourite teacher (who isn’t her class teacher) getting involved. She says she misses her old glasses. I’ve searched everywhere for the same or similar but can’t find them anywhere. We’ve offered her a chance to get a new pair (ExH and I separately then together offered even if it cost) and have taken her to browse but she just sighs and says she wants her old glasses. So other than trying to get her old glasses repaired again (her prescription hasn’t changed) which may not be possible, is there anything else I can do?

There’s 3 opticians locally but I can go further afield and her prescription Is written by a consultant so I can pretty much take her anywhere.

Sometimes you can find discontinued frames on ebay?

Write to the company who made them and ask if they have any?
Although doing this she will expect them forever and she may grow out of them

My son has SN and has had. Glasses since he was a baby . The ophthalmologist told me I had to find a way to make him wear them when I asked how to make a baby wear glasses so I get it !

My vision express used to order them in from all over the place for me so anything is possible .

@boboshmobo Thank you I will see if Vision Express will order them in if I take them too them. I think her wanting those ones for ever is a bridge to cross when we come to it as right now I'd rather she wear her glasses, any glasses.

Often kids glasses come in different sizes so if they have them get them in the next few sizes maybe ?
My branch were super helpful so hopefully yours will be . Now he is older we go to spec savers as it's cheaper but you couldn't beat vision express for customer service !

What make are they by the way?

Unfortunately I don’t thing finding the same frames is the answer.
would she respond to some kind of reward system for wearing the glasses.
social stories might also be helpful here. If you Google maybe there are some about new glasses.
could you also say goodbye together to the broken glasses - sounds strange but together thank the glasses for helping her, say goodbye to them. Like an old much loved toy. Maybe her favorite teacher could talk to her about how fun it is to have new glasses and that they can wear both wear glasses and how lovely that is.
lastly I’d suggest that if possible she has more than 1 pair and they get swapped regularly- that way she doesn’t get too attached to one pair.

What frame is it?

You could try this site for a 2nd hand pair and then change the lenses. From memory it was set up when a parent of a child with SEN was unable to find the exact, same, blue cup his child drank from. The child refused to drink from any other.

littlebluecup.org/

If you could post the details and a photo of what style/colour/size etc you need, we might have suggestions also.

Could you get a pair of glasses and let her decorate them herself - maybe with nail varnish and glitter or something? Perhaps she'd like them if she "designed her own".

Thank you everyone, some good ideas here. Will discuss with DD and/or ExH tomorrow.

You can get contact lenses for children now. Might be worth a try if she really won't wear glasses. <a class="break-all" href="https://coopervision.co.uk/contact-lenses/brilliant-futures-misight-1-day/misight-1-day?coopervision.co.uk/contact-lenses/misight-1-day?utm_source=clicks&utm_medium=google" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">https://coopervision.co.uk/contact-lenses/brilliant-futures-misight-1-day/misight-1-day?coopervision.co.uk/contact-lenses/misight-1-day?utm<a class="break-all" href="https://coopervision.co.uk/contact-lenses/brilliant-futures-misight-1-day/misight-1-day?coopervision.co.uk/contact-lenses/misight-1-day?utm_source=clicks&utm_medium=google" rel="nofollow" target="blank">source=clicks&utmm<a class="break-all" href="https://coopervision.co.uk/contact-lenses/brilliant-futures-misight-1-day/misight-1-day?coopervision.co.uk/contact-lenses/misight-1-day?utm_source=clicks&utm_medium=google" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">medium=google

You should join the Facebook group "for little eyes" there is tonnes of good advice in there for parents of kids going through the same. Usually those struggling will be down to poor fit and a better frame will help. It's opened my eyes massively about how bad the UK is at fitting little people with glasses and it will show you exactly what you need to look for. My son is 5 and wears tomato glasses. I'd look for a reseller near you as stockists will usually be very good at fitting kids.

My dd started with contact lenses at almost 8. I know contacts may not be suitable depending on type of prescription, etc. but just in case she would be able to wear them.

Contacts aren't the answer if she's not even willing to try new glasses.

OP - can you @me with the specifications of the frame - so all the numbers down the sides of both frames and I'll see if any of my friends have it in stock in their stores.

Frames are very often discontinued. I think saying goodbye to the old ones and being matter of fact about it is the answer. Tell the school in front of your dd that she has new glasses and she should be wearing them. If she refuses when asked she ought to get the same response as when she refuses to comply with other normal requests. Ie. That isn't acceptable, please put on your glasses to look at the board. Thank you. You should do the same at home. She seems to be ruling the roost somewhat.

My daughter decorated her glasses which made her much happier with them, it was simple to do with nail varnish and some craft jewels.

It might be worth putting a photo of the frames on sites like mumsnet or facebook and asking if anyone has a pair? My DD has been wearing glasses since she was 3 (12 now) and we had lots of pairs of glasses sitting in a drawer for ages before I donated them all back to Specsavers. Specsavers used to do buy one get one free on children's glasses so we had lots of back up pairs that were barely used just sitting around? Someone might just have a pair?

I'm not sure how old your DD is but her head will eventually grow too big for those frames so saying goodbye to the frames is a bridge you're possibly going to have to cross at some stage? My DD used to go through phases of not wanting to wear her glasses. We had to keep her motivated with reward charts and nice prizes. Not always easy though. Hope you find a solution.

Update

ExH and I decided to go down the route of saying goodbye to her old glasses and rewarding her for wearing her new ones rather than trying to source her old glasses and possibly being in this position again in 6-12 months when she grows again.

We let her say goodbye by thanking them and we all said what we liked about the glasses. Then let DD name her reward.

She's chosen the Brownies theatre trip in mid December, ExH and I are going halves on it, Brown Owl and both her favourite teacher and her class teacher from school are backing us with this. School will send her out with a note in her reading record each day to say whether she's worn them and if she took them off and why (not including taking off for PE or briefly for cleaning). If she's got 10 days where she hasn't removed them at all at school on payment for the theatre day, ExH and I are paying half each. School will give 1 reminder to put them back on before they write in the record. BO has already promised her a place and "Doesn't want to have an empty seat on the bus".

Does that sound fair?