Not sure how to cope - possibly my moods?

[nothingevergoesright]

I had surgery (ankle fusion, tibial osteotomy), Friday afternoon.

I'm in a half plaster at the back, bandage at the front to allow for swelling. I have to keep my leg above heart level for two weeks, then have a full cast and be non weight bearing for 6 weeks.

My DH works hard for long shifts (13 hours). I knew it would be an issue, so was reluctant to have surgery. He assured me it'd be fine (which I now realise was him thinking me being helpless was worst case scenario and I'd be mobile).

I did get angry with him when he came home and refused to make me a cup of tea or feed the cat until he'd chilled for a bit.

Yesterday he got Macdonald's on the way home, so I was fed (though he got himself and DD a drink, not me as "there are drinks here you can have".

I've not asked for a cup of tea in the morning as he's tired and busy. I get left with some snacks and a small water bottle.

Tonight when he got home he made me a tea, but said he wasn't getting any food as he'd eaten (DD -12 bought herself dinner on way home). I had a banana and a few Brazil nuts.

I'd arranged for the shopping to turn up tonight, I asked him to turn on the outside light (we live down a little unlit path, that you can see from the carpark, but only if the light is on).

He refused and got angry, so I persisted (falling down 3 times as my pain meds are wearing off) to turn it on myself.

Then the driver got out, and started looking for the house, I usually wave so they know where we are. DH refused, fair enough, but shouted and pushed me, saying what a bitch I am to nag him, he does it differently.

The driver went to the wrong house, I was upset as I knew a quick wave would've sorted it, but instead DH had to go after him.

After he went DH made himself a coffee and has gone to bed. I asked for a tea and he replied that he doesn't drink tea and I can "fuck right off". That I'm sitting on my "arse" whilst he works long hours.

I'm pretty hysterical right now, he does !y injections and told me to fuck off when I asked him to do it .

I'm going to try to make a cup of tea and get something to eat if anyone has any ideas to do so, with crutches and not being able to put one leg down.

Well I tried, I couldn't hold the kettle and it dropped flooding the kitchen and my bandage

This is just awful! Why are you with this man? He sounds awful! How horrible is he to just leave you to try and do things for yourself. Do you have any friends or family that can pop in and look after you? If I were you, once better, I'd LTB!!!!!

Apologies if I've misunderstood. You don't have to keep your leg elevated for 24 hours a day. Perhaps, make yourself a flask of tea early in the morning. Use a large cross body bag to carry the flask and other things you need so your hands are free to use your crutches. Teach yourself to do your own injections, they don't hurt as much as you think. The information leaflets are helpful and there are great videos on YouTube. Get well soon 🌻

No. This will not do. You have still to get through a difficult 6-7 weeks here. Your husband is behaving badly. Phone your Health Centre and get a phone appointment with a GP. Tell them exactly what is going on and request them to refer you to social services for a care package.

I just came on to say this, is you DD safe? And being cared for.

He sounds awful, I'm so sorry.

Your husband is being completely awful to you, do you know anyone who could come round and help look after you? If your daughter is 12 years old maybe she could help in small ways when she’s home like making you cups of tea and bringing you some food? And definitely phone your GP to see if there’s any extra support you can have, be really honest and tell them everything that’s going on at home…

I hope you are feeling better soon, and once you are well enough I hope you look into ways to leave your husband. He sounds awful and abusive and you deserve better 💐

He sounds absolutely horrific. Leave him as soon as you are well again

He pushed you?? No. He's being abusive emotionally, verbally and physically. As others have said please get a care package put in place and start making plans to leave. He will never be more than this and you deserve so much better than that. I hope when your foot is better that you strut right out of there and never ever look back.

I am currently incapacitated due to a broken humerus. My partner is working 13 hour days, 6/7 days a week to cover the financial loss. He still comes home and makes sure I'm ok, makes me up a hot water bottle, before going to work he ensures everything I need for the day is within reaching distance. He's had moments of frustration due to the extra pressure, understandly so. Your partner should be doing more!

Your 12 year old needs to step up too