A bit disillusioned with holidays- is it an age thing or just me?

[MakeMineADigestive]

I seem to like going away less and less, although I like a change of scene and new places. I like my own bed, my own kitchen and my own bath, regardless of how 'luxurious' the accommodation is. (We mostly do UK self catering, often combining it with long distance family who we visit.)

After 30+ years of self catering I feel I've now had enough of sleeping in beds that aren't my own (and always too soft), kitchens that look wonderful but are usually impractical, curtains or blinds that let in the light (waking me up at dawn) etc.

I find it almost impossible to sleep in a strange bed for at least 2 nights, and often come home feeling more tired than when I started off.

Hotels- we've had disasters with rowdy guests coming in late, shouting in corridors, TV on full volume till late and waking us up - whether it's Premier Inn or 5* luxury.

Am I just a miserable old woman or are there any kindred spirits out there?
I didn't used to be like this in my 20s and 30s and could sleep anywhere.

I love holidays. I don't much like flying though. We've done 2 trips to South of France and Italy on the train this year. I do prefer self catering accommodation to hotels if for more than a couple of days. Not to actually cook though - prefer to mostly eat out. But I like having a fridge and a coffee maker and not having to rush to be up for breakfast. And maybe if we've been out for a long lunch it's easier to just grab a snack in the evening and sit on the balcony. It does sound like you've been unlucky with some of your choices.

I increasingly dislike planes and all the wretched hassle of airports

me too

We used to have a go to destination which we knew we'd always really enjoy but the hotel (perfect location, quiet, with firm beds) has changed hands, and reading the reviews it isn't as good as it was. So we need to find somewhere different.

@Pinkdelight3 My tribe! It was always a plan to buy our own holiday home, and we were actively looking for some time, but circumstances have changed (DH's health) so we've had to scrap that idea. He's travelled the world with work so isn't clamouring to do more now he's retired but would be happy to do whatever I fancy.

@MakeMineADigestive - I’m still older than you! It’s only fairly recently that I’ve felt like this. We’re still booked for a favourite place in Greece for next September though. And probably Majorca in April, to see a friend with a place there.

What I hate about holidays and hotels is that you never have privacy.

Cleaners have burst into my hotel rooms so many times. Cleaners just walk in. When I'm naked. A lot of hotels don't have do not disturb signs.
On one hotel, male cleaner knocked on my door early in the morning and before I had time to say anything, he walked in to the room

I feel like I hate staying in places where people just walk in and out of the room

Majorca is lovely OP, I'm with you on not being big on cities and enjoying walking. I'd rather walk along the beach than lie on it.

I'd recommend somewhere like Ravello on the Amalfi coast (outside high season), beautiful place, almost completely car free, stunning views down to the coast, you can visit Villa Rofolo and Villa Cimbrone, you can hike down to beautiful Atrani, Amalfi and probably Minori and get the bus back up. There are some lovely looking places to stay there as well if you have the cash to splash (we only day tripped but were very enamoured).

UK self catering is my idea of hell for anything more than a long weekend, I want to walk in good weather and see different cultures - so many places out there...

Airbnb is often cheaper than a hotel, you can get more space and you don't have to worry about people bursting in or other guests coming back drunk and making a racket. We swear by it.

Nope. I think its knowing what you want from a holiday. For many years it was about the destination first. Now that I’ve seen a few places I return to some of the same ones so I can just enjoy a short break without needing to visit stuff. I just eat, drink and enjoy a lovely hotel I know, in a fab city.
I like a cruise for the value for money and being on the sea. My absolute favourite is a road trip. No pressure to get everything right. If the hotel or restaurant is terrible that’s fine…you are somewhere else the next night! It’s fun.

I sometimes feel like this and I hate beach holidays. You could probably try somewhere like Iceland as there is plenty to see and it is not too far to go, you could go in the summer months as it is easier to get around then and the days are long

OP, I am exactly the same. You have perfectly summed up how I feel! I’m a dreadfully light sleeper, so this part resonates in particular.

We have primary-aged children, so that makes it even more difficult for me as I worry about all the aforementioned factors affecting them too (they tend to sleep worse than at home as they often have to share a bed on holiday). If we’re in a hotel, I feel like we’re really on top of each other when we’re in the room.

The only holiday I truly love is a skiing holiday, but I still sleep terribly!

I go on 8 or so holidays a year and have never ever thought baking trays.
My list is
A superking size beds, if they aren’t available then twin beds. I need my own 3 feet of space. Cruises are great for getting good beds, blackout curtains etc etc but probably not so good I’d you don’t like people. I’ve been on 14 and have never been I’ll.

If I’m doing a city break then I like a spa in the hotel.

Good days out and other places to visit nearby.

My Mum (over 80) does a lot of travelling. And most of it is with a purpose. She's a keen gardener so she goes on at least two garden-visiting holidays a year as well as a few day visits. She also cruises a lot with the same company (Noble Caledonian) because they have very small groups and go to interesting places. She's been to places like the Easter Islands, Tierra del Fuego, Antarctica and through the Panama canal. She's never been the type to just go away and chill, she gets bored. I know that when I'm her age I definitely won't want to be travelling that much, but tbh I'm physically more similar to my Dad's side of the family and they're not long-lived so I might not even make it to my 80s.

I also like to go away with theme, a couple of weeks ago I went on a quilting retreat and absolutely loved it, it was only 50 mins drive away and the hotel had great food. However I no longer want to fly, I just find it tedious. DH's family live in the far east and I don't think I've been there for about a decade now. DH used to go and take both DC, but DS also doesn't like long haul so the most recent trip was just DH and DD. We do have a share in a cottage by a lake which is less than three hours drive away, and I love going there when we can. I sit and look at the lake and the wildlife and go into a stupor, it's very relaxing.

Oh, and Mum has never had norovirus on a cruise, I think it's the bigger ships that have more of a problem. We think she might have caught Covid in January 2020, but that was most likely from travelling through airports (Heathrow and Dubai) because the holiday itself was a train trip across Africa so not all that many people. It was a small group and about a third of them came down with a nasty virus within a week of arriving.

With you OP. I’ve never loved holidays. Even great hotels or whatever. I’d rather spend my money on making my home nice to be in all year round than go to someone else’s nice room and then come home to one that’s disappointing… I’d rather use my leave days enjoying my home than spending it away yet again, like I do at work!

@lightisnotwhite I also love a road trip. The best holiday I’ve ever had was pre kids, we drove down the east coast of America, stopping in New York, Washington, Charleston, Savannah, Wilmington, and loads of little places as well, through the Skyline Drive, and finishing off in Miami. We didn’t book anything apart from New York, just turned up and found lovely places. If we liked it, we stayed a few days, if we didn’t like it (Myrtle Beach) we just drove on.
Also loved a road trip in a camper van down the coast of Australia and also one from Adelaide to Uluru - oh and also along the Great Ocean Road.

Haven’t done any road trips with the kids as they’ve been too young, but I love and adore that feeling of sitting down with a map and a Lonely Planet and just saying “how about here tonight?” That amazing freedom and not a fret about baking trays in sight.

I think you need to up your game, if you can afford to.

We do long haul to the Caribbean. Only stay in 5 star hotels. Won't do bad flight times or stupid lay overs.

Depends on budget of course, but I wouldn't be doing self catering in the UK, as the chances are it won't be as comfortable as my home (because we all have our favourite things at home). And who wants to cook on holiday? Not me. Also - weather can be crap, seriously limiting your options.

I have never been a massive fan of holidays full stop.
I am a home bird and like being at home more than anywhere else.
I am just boring basically !

Ok, you are definitely being unreasonable now if your dreary UK holidays have been foiled by not having enough roasting tins to cook oven fish and chips. This literally isn’t a holiday in any shape or form. No wonder you are disillusioned and would rather stay home. What are you describing is the exact same drudge of day to day life in a different location.

going abroad isn’t just ‘lying on a beach’

You are still young, there are places that can cater to your vulnerable husband and the world is so big.

go see a travel agent and book a proper holiday then come back here

I'm with you OP. I never sleep properly and ridiculously end up homesick after a few days. Organising care for 3 ponies, 5 cats and an antisocial elderly dog is a logistical nightmare. I can't see me ever going abroad. I've come to the conclusion that I must love my life and don't need to get away. We can be in the Peak District in 20 minutes. I love going out for the day.

I always enjoy being on holiday but I don't like the hassle of getting there. I think the fact that Covid meant that we had a few years without a holiday has made going away seem like a bigger deal than it used to be. We are fortunate to live in a very beautiful part of the UK and we have outdoor hobbies that we can do near home so I found myself thinking "is going away really worth it?" when things started to open up again post Covid. So I can see where you're coming from OP, it does sometimes feel like more effort than it's worth. We had a few weekends to visit family etc this year but didn't have a summer holiday as such.
However, my DH had a business trip abroad that coincided with October half term and he suggested that our teenage DS and I went along. I really wasn't keen, especially with all the tales of huge queues in airports but DS desperately wanted to go so I, somewhat grudgingly agreed. And you know, we had a fabulous time. We'd not been out of the country since 2019 and I had kind of forgotten how interesting and enjoyable it is to visit new places and experience different cultures. And the travel wasn't too bad. There was quite a big queue for passport control coming back into the country, but I've experienced worse in the past so it wasn't exceptional. It was only a short trip but it's reinvigorated my interest in travel. Maybe you need to try something completely different to your normal holidays OP? Obviously nobody has to travel but I do think that a change once in a while does us good.* *

I don’t want to go abroad any more. I’ve traveled extensively so haven’t missed out and now I have stopped visiting my husband who sometimes works abroad
which is fine for both of us.

Yes, maybe I need to be a bit more adventurous.

Places like the Caribbean don't do it for me at all. European cities maybe but I'm happiest on a walk in the hills somewhere or a remote beach.

Travelling is going to be harder - money is not an issue but DH's health may make insurance very difficult and we can't plan too far ahead. He is unlikely to get cover for it and would need it to be excluded, I think.

Thanks for all the ideas!

I'm with you.

I have a nice house, live in a pretty area with lots to do, and like my own bed. Why pay a fortune to stay somewhere where the beds won't be as comfortable, I've got the stress of travelling and packing, and then trying to get by cooking meals with a single saucepan and a pot on an insufficiently powered hob for a week? No thanks.

I only really want to go away if it truly is 5* luxury. I can't afford that because we spent all our money on our house so I might as well be in the house to enjoy it. I'm 30, so I don't think it's an age thing, I've just very rarely had a holiday where I've thought "oh yes, that was an excellent use for all that money" at the end of it. Mostly I'm just more tired than before we set off, glad to be home, and resentful of the thousands of pounds we could have spent elsewhere.

I do like a weekend city break, though. Just long enough to explore, not so long that rubbish beds can ruin my enjoyment.

Have you thought about looking at European guided / self-guided walking holidays?

I'm afraid I think it depends who you go with. I was feeling like that about holidays with DH. I'm just back from a trip with friends, the hotel was noisy and my room mate snored, but they were minor inconveniences compared to the good time we were having.