Rubbish at chosen hobby

[gottagetmeouttahere]

I have an an interest which I would so, so love to be good at. One that I could make some money from if I was good enough.

But after two starter courses, a year apart, I feel I'm pretty crap at it. There's so much to it, and I'm not interested in all aspects, but it's struggled to get to grips with the basics this week. I was literally on the verge of walking out in tears, I was so disappointed in myself. Although I think there's a bigger picture there just now maybe.

Has anyone taken up a hobby and managed to turn around how bad they are it? Or, have you tried and tried, and finally admitted defeat?

I had tennis, badminton and Squash lessons for lengthy periods of time ( tennis - years) before accepting I am crap at racquet sports.

Do you want to do it as a hobby or a job? If a hobby, they only important thing is are you enjoying trying it out?

Sounds like you're wanting to make it a career change which is going to put pressure on.
Most adults new to a hobby tend to take ages to get vaguely good, as you just don't have as much time/energy to throw at them.
I am quite crap at most of my hobbies but I love doing them and slowly slowly getting better

What's the hobby? There are plenty of hobbies that give enjoyment and other benefits even if you're not very good.

I wonder whether the idea of making money from it put you in the wrong mind frame from the off. Would it help to try to think about it differently- appreciate your improvements, enjoy the sensory experience of doing it (I'm imagining something like pottery here) etc, rather than judging yourself against an imagined standard of a professional.

Is there a way you can do it more frequently? A starter course followed by a gap of a year means you'll forget everything before you try again. You might make more progress with little and often.

I did 4 beginners ski courses before admitting defeat. Even DH now admits I'm unteachable. DDs found it highly amusing (as at 4 and 5 they were quite competent!)

Not everyone can master any skill. If you enjoy it, keep going and enjoy yourself. If you don't, try something else

I was SHIT at dance. Two left feet. I worked and worked at it and eventually got good enough to be asked to perform at a major dance festival and for a famous choreographer to approach me and ask if I was a dancer because of my posture.

Some things I will never be able to do. Dyspraxia means juggling is out of the questions as are all ball sports/team sports.

I think two starter sessions is not enough to judge yourself on. You're allowed to take longer than other people. It can make you better in the long run. I always think of Kevin Keegan's answer when he was asked what made him the best footballer of his generation and he said something like: I had no talent. I wasn't even picked for the school team. So I did nothing by instinct, I had to learn every single skill which meant they never let me down. I always knew how to do what I needed to do, not rely on luck.

I love that attitude.

Sounds like you are looking at a job? I'm learning ice skating with my children. I'm pretty rubbish at it. (DH says I'm looking very good). I want to be able to spin around the rink doing turns and jumps and spins. In reality, I'm struggling to execute a turn gracefully. I am taking joy in improving. I have accepted I'll never be as good the children and teens learning it.

Are you enjoying your hobby?

Is it something you can watch people do on YouTube? I have to do anything new at least 3 times before my brain 'gets' it, if I'm going to be good at it. More than 8 times and it will never stick. But I've found that if I walk through it in my mind or watch a video, that counts.

I’ve been playing piano for three years. I am Rubbish! But I do it for me, it’s good for my brain, (I’m 58yo) and I enjoy it. Im not aiming for the Carnegie Hall.

I've tried many sports and made peace with the fact that I am dreadful at just about all of them - certainly those which require balance, hand/eye co-ordination or a high level of fitness, eg skateboarding, snowboarding, archery, mountain biking.

But after a bad start and quite literally giving up in tears, I did manage to get to grips with scuba diving and am now more than competent and quite experienced at it.

It takes 10000 hours of practice to master a skill.

Thanks for the replies.

It's jewellery making.

I know I'm too old to make it my sole career, but it would be nice to have it as a sideline, or at least to be able to make back the costs involved in tools, supplies, workbench hire, etc.

I agree that the little and often approach is definitely better for me, and I think I am going to pursue another beginners course over an 8 week period instead.

I just wasn't taking anything in. I gave up on the second project because I felt like an idiot. I tried to pretend I wasn't bothered, while everyone else just seemed to get it.

Thats pretty complicated and depends on having learned a set of basic core skills, they should have told you which skills you'd need to be able to complete the project.

I appreciate that you might not want to say what the hobby is (the MN famous "outing hobby" and all that...), but it really does depend on what you're learning to do and whether it's something that you could reasonably expect quick results from or not. Some hobbies just take longer than others. E.g. there was a thread on here the other day where a figure of 10,000 hours of practice is required before you can play a musical instrument to a high standard. I do an art / craft hobby where I've been having lessons for 10 years and it's only in the last year that I've felt truly proficient and happy with my work. Other things (not wishing to be horrible) like the ubiquitous lockdown cricut machines are more about investment in kit than operator skill imo (though I accept there's an element of design flare that distinguishes some of the more imaginative work from the rest of the pack). Can you soeak to the teacher and ask what sort of level you would expect to be at after your two rounds of courses?

Also, it depends what you want to get out of it. E.g. there's no way that me spending 9 years in drafty village halls learning my craft would make sense from a business perspective, but I did it because of the enjoyment I got. People do make good money from doing what I do, but they are rare and they usually have donkey's years experience. Are you prepared to enjoy it for what it is now or do you need to make money from it?

@gottagetmeouttahere are they people in the course with you a lot younger? Do they all have a lot of other crafting experience? I'm learning a lot slower than the children, especially the teens with ice skating. Watching a youtube video 3 times like some other PP say really not work for me. I see my children just pick up the moves quick. I, on the other hand, am still trying to do a three turn properly for two months! I practice an hour on the ice outside lessons too.

It's disheartening and I totally get you. There are times I think this is the limit for me. I think of all the progress I've made in the last two months, going from not being able to turn even with both feet on the ice. This makes me feel a lot more positive and keep me going.

Would you be able to pick up what you have learned in the course and work on projects at your own pace? Can you understand what they say in youtube videos and work on it?

Cross posted with you, OP. If it's jewellery-making I can imagine that's something that mixes technical skill with an eye for design. If it's your technical skills that are letting you down, you need to practice practice practice until it becomes second nature.

If it was easy, everyone would be doing it!

There are tons of ways to make jewellery. It doesn't have to be silversmithing.

People who go into arts/ crafts solely to make money from them are often going into it for the wrong reason, and so many of them don't succeed. You need to love doing it for its own sake.

To become proficient in a craft like jewellery-making takes regular practice over a long period of time, and a fairly substantial investment of both time and money. You can't just do two courses and expect to be making something of a professional/ saleable standard.

You are not rubbish at it, you just haven't had the time that you need in order to master it - you are basically giving up on yourself too early. It also sounds like you might have some confidence issues generally - there's not much place for that if you are selling art - it's pretty brutal out there and there will be a lot of rejection.

I have been doing my chosen art/craft for 5 years on a regular basis, have invested a lot of money, time and effort into it because I love it. I am only just about reaching a point where I can start to think about getting some money back from it - I will be lucky to ever get back what I have invested in it.

But that's fine, because doing it makes me happy, fulfills me creatively, and connects me to others - it's a hobby. For most people, hobbies and livelihoods are two different things.

I generally don't do things I'm not good at. Long term. Doubt jewellery making would be me. I'm good at hockey, crib, backgammon and semi reasonable at chess. About as much use as a toffee really.

Isn't a hobby something that you are supposed to enjoy doing and have an interest in? This sounds like something you tried, didn't click with and for some reason are determined to pursue - because you hope to make money from it? Wouldn't you be better of just moving on to something else that you do enjoy? Also there seem to be hundreds of jewellery makers at every craft fair, school bazaar and gift shop, I think unless you are doing something quite different it is very difficult to actually make any money from it.

Ah I did bell ringing for a couple of years. Plenty of times I cried on my way home from practice nights. They only way I became competent at was practice - hours of it every single day, either on an app or on church bells. Sometimes I rang twice or three times a day on Sundays.
it was not going to defeat me. I did it and rang two quarter peaks both first time qualifiers. But I gave up, it had become a disheartening. non enjoyable almost work like affair, consuming everyday of my life.
Any monies made were a drop in the ocean compared to the amount of petrol spent!

As others have said - a hobby is meant to be a distraction and enjoyable. If it’s not, then maybe think about trying something else and instead enjoy wearing handmade jewellery which you appreciate the hard work and dedication that’s gone into making it.

To be honest I think it’s so so so hard to make any really money from arts and crafts. People say they do but I think a very small portion of people make money from it. Reminds me of the episode of big bang theory where Penny starts making flower hair clips and then realised after materials she’s paying herself about 50 cents an hour or something stupid like that.

And I think if you struggle with it already it’s hardly going to get better when you’ve got all the pressure of orders to complete, difficult customers, social media engagement, online ordering, deliveries. Maybe try removing all that pressure and try to just enjoy it for a hobby, that might lessen the stress and allow you to pick it up more easily.

I can sympathise, but equally I think it's unrealistic and a hiding to nowhere to imagine or hope for a fruitful income to be made from something you aren't able to do that well or find difficult. A hobby first and foremost should surely be something you enjoy doing for the mostpart, ideally to the extent that the less desirable portions of it are made up for by what you get out of it otherwise.

If the issue is that you think you have good creative ideas but not the technical ability then the only option is to continue plugging away starting from basics until they've been nailed and then move forward.

I think its commendable to attempt to learn a new skill but I'd certainly be thinking about how much it really lends to my life if I felt frustrated by it, it left me feeling deflated or silly etc. It certainly doesn't make you stupid to not be on the same level as others in a class - who knows what their past experience and background is. Could there be something that provides the same creative outlet and option to develop a small business for you might gel with more?

You could be me! I decided I would try to develop art to run it as a little side income thing - totally killed the joy of it. Constantly feeling I wasn't good enough, comparing myself with others. I decided to let go of the idea of ever selling any of it and I am enjoying it again!

😁 Music - I'd love to play an instrument.

I was lucky enough to have some guitar lessons in my early teens. After a few weeks the teacher went on a very long holiday and then announced he'd moved to another town!

I was then bluntly told by his "replacement" that I have no rhythm and I am tonedeaf. In other words, I was killing the guitar and the teacher 😥.