How do you discipline your children?

[Popsicales]

I’ve had a nightmare weekend with DS (aged 5). His behaviour has always been challenging and he has ADHD, however this weekend I’ve felt a total lack of respect from him. Hurting, demanding, spitting…

It’s a shame as things have been going well for him for a couple of months.

He’s obsessed with Christmas and seems really on edge about it. We’ve also had far more sensory seeking behaviours than usual and he’s ‘bouncing off the walls’.

What do you do to discipline your children? How do you manage their behaviour? Particularly when it feels like nothing is working and they don’t care about the consequences you put in place. 😩

I ask for the behaviour to stop (whatever it is they are doing!)
Then I tell them to stop they will either do it or ignore me!
I never negociate with them after that I turn my back and walk away into another room starving them of attention, I found if I remove myself from them and go off and make a cuppa or anything they soon come round once the attention is removed. I then wait until they come to me and they always do,then when they are done with the behaviour and behaving more acceptably I will say what I had an issue with and they are not to do it again,Then I move on,This can take ages but theres no shouting and screaming from me just indifference and mine dont like it when mum goes quiet!

Hurting and spitting I’d remove the child or remove myself and disengage. Demanding I’d answer once ‘no we aren’t doing/having x’ and then ignore.

So so much of the time I find prevention is the key. Setting out reasonable expectations BEFORE the bad behaviour, praising good behaviour and ignoring bad behaviour, reinforcing at calm times what is expected etc. Lots of exercise.

@creamwitheverything that’s such a good strategy, I’m going to try this from tomorrow(angry nearly three year old here😂) @Popsicales it’s so hard isn’t it to know the best way to do things. Sometimes I think you can get a bad run of behaviour that is just a passing phase. Mine is a bit younger in age but it can be so challenging sometimes and stressful. I will be following this thread for more suggestions, great idea for a post so thank you!

Thanks everyone.

I’m a teacher so you’d think I’d have a better grip on managing challenging behaviour but no strategy works.

He’s relentless! Yes, I’m hoping it’s a passing phase and he’ll go back to his normal intensity soon.

Mine are a little older but they love video games and have restricted times wheb they use them like an hour a day. I threaten to reduce times they allowed on them and if more serious they miss this time completely . I dont carry it out that often but once in a while I do, so the threat tends to work as they know I might do it. Also really praise and reward the good behaviour. For something like hitting, has only really happened when they were very little but would be v stern about that and put them in their room for a while till they calmed down.

I focus on teaching them to regulate their own emotions and behavior. Look up mindfulness techniques and how to teach them to children. Share that with your son so he can self regulate. He has issues (as many of us do!) and shouldn’t be punished for it. There’s natural consequences to some things, but otherwise help him learn what his emotions feel like physically in his body so he recognizes when he’s getting overwhelmed with something. Have a calming activity ready for when he’s getting overstimulated. Make sure you talk about all of it with him so he’s an active participant in his own life. He can be a part of making decisions about his needs. Like, “When I feel ___ I know it’s time to get a drink and do a breathing exercise.” You just need more preparation instead of damage control. I have a daughter with lots of issues and she’s 13 now and it worked really well for her.