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Original poster

Why do interviewers do this?

33 replies

FurryFace22 · 12/11/2022 15:09

I'm still irritated by this! I had an interview a couple of weeks ago for a fairly niche role, not too many people would have my experience in so I can't imagine there would have been tons of other candidates.

I wasn't over confident going into the interview as I wasn't entirely sure I wanted the role but it went much better then I expected, really seemed to gel with the interviewers and they were hugely positive about me so much so I came away thinking I'd be offered the position (which is a big deal for me as I am a very pessimistic person normally).

Annoyed as I let myself get carried away, imagining myself in the new role, getting excited etc only to get the dreaded call that I hadn't been successful (but was given loads of positive feedback about how close to being successful I was).

I'm feeling really flat now and also annoyed, why be so positive and give one impression if they had no intention of recruiting me (and I know I was the last interview of the day so it's not as if a surprise candidate would've blown their socks off after me). I'll get over it but it's knocked my confidence and I just wish they hadn't be as enthusiastic during the process so I would've been more prepared for the rejection 😟

OP posts:
AdriannaP · 12/11/2022 15:10

It’s not the interviewers fault that you got carried away before you had the offer. Maybe you didn’t read the room well.
what interview feedback did you get?

Feysriana · 12/11/2022 15:11

Huh. Well, that sucks.

Have never been an interviewer but DH does a lot of then and I do know they iften argue among themsekves with some people wanting candidate A and some people wanting candidate B. So maybe yoh were sensing positivity from an individual who genuinely wanted to hire yoh but someone else in the tram said no?

Who knows. Anyway not getting a job at that you wanted and woukd be good at sucks. Sorry it happened to you and hope something even better turns up soon.

BattenburgDonkey · 12/11/2022 15:12

Chances are they felt the same as you during the interview, but then the next interviewee that came along just about pipped you to the post. They can’t be sure who’s coming next. I had it happen about 10 years ago and was gutted, they were very honest that they really liked me but the next guy just fitted the bill that bit more and it took them by surprise that they had 2 perfect candidates, but unfortunately they just had the one role. Try not to let it knock your confidence, you still had a great interview and got great feedback.

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WhyOY · 12/11/2022 15:13

Because they might not have decided if they'd want you or not. It's better than them saying nah not for us to your face. They can give better feed back after they have thought it over.

Heyahun · 12/11/2022 15:14

I do loads of interviews and I’m always super nice and friendly to everyone ! I don’t just get disinterested or end the interview abruptly because it’s not going great! The person has made an effort to travel in and do the interview so they deserve a decent chance.

Sometimes there’s more than 1 person we want for the job and we have to make a hard choice. At the end of the day if there’s only one job then only 1 person can be hired.

Rubbishname101 · 12/11/2022 15:15

I can tell you having interviewed many candidates that I’m sure they genuinely really thought you were a great candidate and clearly felt you had a lot to bring to the role.

It gets difficult when they’re are 2 really strong candidates to chose between when they both would be great a great fit for the role and it often comes down to the smallest of detail that sways the decision - tough though I know and not much consolation.

TheMoops · 12/11/2022 15:21

Just because you didn't get the job doesn't mean you didn't interview well or that the panel didn't like you.
The successful candidate probably just had something that you didn't - it's tough and disappointing but you shouldn't be hard on yourself

takeitandleaveit · 12/11/2022 15:23

Write back thanking them for their time and their feedback, and saying how much you would like to work there, so please could they keep your details on file in case another position comes up in the near future.

You never know. I once got a job that way because the person they chose over me didn't like the job and left after 2 months, so they offered it to me.

Ted27 · 12/11/2022 15:27

What themoops said.

Last time I interviewed we saw 8 people with 2 posts on offer. There was one stand out star, and four other very good people - anyone of them would have been great in the job and we would have appointed them all if we had the roles.
Sometimes you just have to go on very small differences.
All of them got jobs with us within 6 months though.
Take the positive feedback and apply it to the next interview.
Good luck

BobbyBobbyBobby · 12/11/2022 15:27

They may well have been genuine in their appreciation of you but someone after you to be interviewed may have just edged it more than you.

Or it went to someone’s relative who already works there which is common in niche industries.

Snnowflake · 12/11/2022 15:35

BattenburgDonkey · 12/11/2022 15:12

Chances are they felt the same as you during the interview, but then the next interviewee that came along just about pipped you to the post. They can’t be sure who’s coming next. I had it happen about 10 years ago and was gutted, they were very honest that they really liked me but the next guy just fitted the bill that bit more and it took them by surprise that they had 2 perfect candidates, but unfortunately they just had the one role. Try not to let it knock your confidence, you still had a great interview and got great feedback.

She was the last inter view of the day - stated in the first post

dontgobaconmyheart · 12/11/2022 15:36

I think there's a few things going on here. Firstly I'd try to reframe it as an interview that you performed very well in and were given feedback to confirm that and bolster your confidence for next time rather than using the fact you didn't get the role in the end to be the main takeaway. You can interview amazingly well but ultimately if there is someone with a specific set of skills or relevant experience that sits in line with their desired future business plans, that is usually going to be more important and isn't a reflection on you so much as some quite specific objectives said company needs or wants to fulfil at that time, in line with their current team etc

Secondly I think it's important to remember that they aren't in any way responsible for scenarios you imagined when you felt it was likely you would get the job. We are responsible for preparing ourselves for a potential rejection at any job interview (or anything else)- it's never guaranteed and it is difficult sometimes to meaninfully know how well it went, when it is the norm to be polite and encouraging to the candidate during the process.

I used to interview an awful lot and would always try to encourage and get the best out of a candidate- ultimately we want to hire someone and want them to do well. Bad interviews are uncomfortable for all involved. It's also certainly true that final decision isn't always soleyly with the interviewer, frustrating though that is.

You did well OP, pat yourself on the back, thank then for the feedback and ask to be kept in mind.

Original poster
FurryFace22 · 12/11/2022 15:40

Yes I was the last interview (they confirmed this when I asked how long until I heard back) as in "you're the last candidate we've interviewed so we will have an answer very shortly"

All feedback was positive and I completely get they may have had another very close candidate but I just feel they could've been a bit more measured in their response to me. I've been an interviewer in the past too so I understand both sides of the process.

OP posts:
SheWoreYellow · 12/11/2022 15:41

If they evaluate the interview by using a scoring system, then they wouldn’t know till after they’d completed that that another candidate was stronger. And they should be friendly and enthusiastic to every candidate.

RFPO77 · 12/11/2022 15:43

Doesn't sound like they did anything wrong. You were good but they found another candidate. Your low self esteem isn't their problem I'm afraid 🙄

Original poster
FurryFace22 · 12/11/2022 15:44

Thank you @dontgobaconmyheart wise words

I probably do need to reframe (my pessimistic nature I referenced before really doesn't do me any favours)!

OP posts:
RFPO77 · 12/11/2022 15:44

Another candidate who was stronger that should read 🤷

zippalippa · 12/11/2022 15:53

JFC, typical mumsnet giving OP a bashing without reading or accepting what she's saying.

I hear you OP, I agree they shouldn't have been so gushing if you weren't a match. It sounds like they're shit at interviewing people so they just default to the overly nice response when someone is decent. It's their problem, not yours.

PPs are morons, this isn't a self esteem issue. I've been on both sides of the coin so I know it's important to remain neutral to all candidates until there's an opportunity to compare scoring and discuss with the interview team. Being overly pessimistic or optimistic in your approach to candidates is just plain unprofessional.

Perhaps you don't want to work with people who don't understand how their behaviour influences the feelings of others. They may mean well but they sound, quite frankly, socially inept. You'll be better off elsewhere, stay positive and keep going.

stockpilingallthecheese · 12/11/2022 15:59

I do a lot of interviews and am always really friendly and try to put people at ease - and when asked for feedback at the end of an interview I will try and concentrate on the positives unless there is a concern I'd like them to address and give them the opportunity to convince me. So maybe people do get the wrong impression. But I always try and make it an enjoyable conversation for both sides where I can. I'm there to give a positive impression of my company as much as you are to impress us.

I would imagine they did really like you and you were a strong candidate but they just had to weigh up all the interviews and make a decision. You should take a lot of positives from this as well as appreciate that they gave you so much feedback!

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 12/11/2022 16:02

I'm sorry it didn't go your way.

I'm an experienced interviewer and agree with PPs. I would be friendly and enthusiastic with all candidates. You don't want to turn unsuccessful candidates off your organisation - you might want them to apply to you in future; your preferred candidate might turn down the role; an unsuccessful candidate might end up working for one of your clients etc etc

Sometimes you don't know who you are going to select until you've had time to reflect, consider the relative strengths/role fit of each candidate. Where relevant you also need to discuss all candidates with other interviewers/decision makers.
Unless they actually said something which suggested you'd got the job, which would be poor interviewing practice in most cases, then perhaps you have misread the situation? It sounds like you did well, perhaps the successful candidate had more relevant experience or something else that made them stand out.
Dust yourself down and prepare for the next one x

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/11/2022 16:11

It sounds as if you did really well in the interview. Take the experience a good practice for when you find the right job.

Bunce1 · 12/11/2022 16:17

The other way to think about it is that they got the absolutely best out of you on the day. You haven’t come away thinking oh I wish I had say this or that.

amiold · 12/11/2022 16:23

You probably were very good.
Someone else was probably very good

May have been very close and at least they've given you good feedback to move forward x

Original poster
FurryFace22 · 12/11/2022 16:25

Thanks all

Comments have definitely helped me reframe a little, I do have self esteem issues actually so likely to have taken this to heart more than I should've. It's their loss anyway 😂

OP posts:
BuryingAcorns · 12/11/2022 16:26

They might well have loved you and thought you right for the job but had a strionger or more experienced candidate. they;d want to keep you enthusiastic if the other person turned them down, or terms couldn;t be reached. Or they may have thought you were the best in the heat of the moment then reviewed backgrounds and responses to questions and realised someone else was a better fit.