I have really disordered eating and don't know what to do

[Namechange652]

Was just reading a what's for dinner thread and thinking how I would feel guilty eating any of the delicious meals being discussed. I have BED (binge eating disorder) and I have so many rules about what I can and cannot eat. I rarely eat pasta or pizza as i feel I should be low carbing due to pre-diabetes but i will secretly binge on chocolate/cake/puddings which is ridiculous contradictory.
I'm in an absolute mess and I want to just be able to eat normally without the guilt, the bingeing, etc. I can't afford therapy or counselling so need to try and sort this on my own.
My husband has protein shakes and quite a limited diet which makes it harder.

I'd recommend the book Beyond Chocolate- really helped me to stop the restrict/binge cycle and just enjoy food normally again after years of yoyoing.

I’m the same OP. I barely eat throughout the day, 200 calorie maximum soups and stuff. Very low calorie dinner and then just binge on junk, thinking that it’s ok because my overall intake is not over 1300 or weather. But I know it’s very disordered and I’m not actually losing any weight.

I don’t know what the answer is, I’m afraid but hopefully someone more helpful will come along. Just wanted to post in solidarity.

You're aware of it so that's a plus. Don't be scared to go to the doctors and get the support you need to beat this. I had that as a teen and there was no support.

It will have an impact on your teeth and your heart and other organs, you really need to find some help. You've done nothing wrong but you need to see a doctor they can refer you to a dietitian for example amongst other things. You won't be on your own dealing with this then.

It's such a complex thing to be trying your best to battle on your own

I'm the same OP, I have "trigger foods" that I have to avoid, if I have a little it's like the day is a right off and I just binge. Then the day turns into a week, into a month etc etc.

It's so frustrating when people say "you can have a little treat" - I really can't, I will just end up binging. Wish I could just think about food and eat like a normal person 😔

Are the chocolate, cakes and puddings on your banned list?
Could you eat a square meal earlier in the day, and have a 'treat' as part of/after it.
Could you set a cut-off time of day where you don't eat after it.

Even if I allowed myself a pudding for example it wouldn't help.
I enjoy the bingeing, the planning, the buying, the looking forward to it. It's a bit like being a drug addict. I'm going to definitely end up with diabetes if I carry on. I don't actually even like chocolate anymore but I still eat loads of it.

Bump

Refer to your local eating disorder service? You can self refer in some areas. Or see your GP?
Look at the Beat website for advice.
Read Overcoming Binge Eating. This is the book that is used as part of guided self help in my area (GSH is the NICE recommended treatment for BED)
Its not a magical fix, but that’s currently what’s offered by the nhs.

<I work for the ED service>

I found Noom helped me quite a bit

Thank you, how would I find my local eating disorder service?

I've started reading the fuck it diet book!

Speak to your GP.

Regarding finding your local eating disorders service, you can Google it. Just put the name of your nearest town/city and ‘NHS eating disorders service’.

I recommend the charity Beat Eating Disorders. They have telephone helplines, a local service finder page (helpfinder.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/about-us) and resources online for people with eating disorders and those who live and work with people with ED.

You don’t have to suffer alone.

@Namechange652 exactly what @LynneBenfield said.

I hope you get the help you need.

Thank you.

Thank you, I tried that link but it doesn't work?

Could have written your OP! Eg I am also paranoid about diabetes, exercise a ton, eat a bit of choc but would never have a pizza. Pizza express tonight and I’m having a salad! I do genuinely prefer that but same goes for other cuisines - can’t enjoy anything. I did get a lot from CBT but clearly didn’t fix my actual behaviours; I just understand my thoughts and the origins of them more. But you do actually have to control yourself and that’s where I fail.

V tricky with other people’s diets to take into account too - veggie me, carnivore DH, 2 fussy kids and a weaning baby. Constantly thinking about food and being asked for food, even if I didn’t have issues!

You need to try to relax around food and not have a ‘banned’ list of foods to avoid.

The only book you should read is Dr Chris Fairburn - Overcoming Binge Eating (2nd edition) He’s been studying EDs since the 1970’s. The book requires you to follow steps - it will take effort and time to work through the steps, taking you (and your brain) away from the continual cycle of bingeing, dieting, feeling guilty, etc.

Good luck

Oh I’m sorry, that’s annoying.

this is their BED page www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/about-eating-disorders/types/binge-eating-disorder/

this is their ‘get help’ section
www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/

Find local support, plus helplines here
www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/beat-support-in-my-area/

OP, I had nearly 40 years of disordered eating, BED and Bulimia. My life was miserable for years due to it. I spent years in and out of therapy and trying different approaches in the hope of beating it.

I read the book Brain Over Binge after seeing it recommended on here. It's honestly been life changing. Not only do I not binge any more, but I'm not plagued by the constant mind chatter of what I should or should not eat. I'm no longer obsessed with food. I can eat what I thought of as 'trigger' foods without it kicking off a binge. I feel free at last. It might help you too....

Thank you. I nearly called Beat today but I bottled it! Part of my problem is i feel like i need a perfect meal plan, then i panic and don't know what to have so end up eating random rubbish. Got terrible heartburn today which feels like a bit of a warning. Boredom eating is a massive issue for me too, how can I overcome that? Please don't say paint my nails, I'm not that sort of person!!