Who knows how to read a balance sheet?

[Jippers]

Which part of a balance sheet contains the salaries bill?

Which part is the pure profits after all expenses are taken out?

Is 'net current assets' all the profit in the bank and the shop fittings/stock?

There is an income statement and a balance sheet, 2 different things. The first is money in/out and the second is current financial position.

Yes, current net assets is cash in the bank, stock etc. This will be included on the balance sheet.

Salaries could be in a couple of places (or both) on the income statement: maybe costs or SG&A.

Net operating profit is the bit you’re looking for ie. after all tax has been removed.

*operating costs

A balance sheet is used as a tool for auditing accounts to ensure everything is properly recorded and nothing dodgy going on.

It is not used to calculate taxable profit. That would be gross profit (turnover) minus qualifying expenditure.