I've name changed because this is a slightly ridiculous situation for a middle aged woman to be in and probably recognisable to those who know me.
So early 50s, widowed almost 2 years. Getting by OK most of the time, but still some very dark days.
There's a man I've know through a hobby for about 10 years. He's been divorced all that time and frankly had a string of women. As far as I know, one at a time, one was for a couple of years, most don't last long.
He's a nice guy and was very much there for me and DH during his illness when a lot of "closer" friends seemed to disappear.
Since DH's death he and a mixed group of friends/acquaintances have really gone out of their way to keep me busy and I'm having the busiest social life of my life, while the people I've always thought if as my good friends are invisible. As a group, we've had many evenings out, some daytime trips and a few weekends away. I wouldn't say I feel any great connection to him, but he's been a very valuable friend to me over the last 3 years or so.
From time to time we have short spells where we spend a fair bit of time together alone. It usually comes about because the rest of the group haven't been able to make a suggested event or because others leave early and it's just us. We always have a nice time. Then he'll disappear for a while and none of the group hears much from him.
Which is fine, he's a single man with a busy work, social and romantic life and adult DC who keep him busy. However, it does seem to coincide with when we've spent a lot of time 121 iyswim.
Tonight we're all going out, but he's coming here to eat beforehand. He works near where I live and lives elsewhere. We're going out near here so it makes sense not to go home first. I've said he can stay here afterwards to save a long taxi trip. Its very clear he'll be in the spare room. I was expecting him to leave early next day, but he's suggested a volunteering thing we can do together Saturday morning(which we both do fairly often usually, although not always together) and then we're at another event with the group later, so we'll be together nearly all weekend.
Sorry for the rambling. Anyway it feels like we'll probably have a good time and then I won't see or hear from him again for a while. I'm wondering if I should try and talk about what happens or just carry on pretending not to notice?
Also if he does have any romantic notions maybe I'm not beig fair "using" his friendship, although he's certianly never made any move. What do you think?