It's a wedding one

[CakeEatersRUs]

Just wanting opinions.

Myself, husband and child (7) have a wedding evening invite. It's about 60 minute drive away so close enough that we drive and come back. It starts at around 730pm.

I think we should leave child with my parents ( wedding is dh family) so that we can both go. I'll most likely end up driving as not a big drinker. Husband is and I get stressed around him when he is drinking and I don't need to deal with him and child. Child will probably go mental because they have a fairly set bedtime and whilst it can be relaxed I'll be the one dealing with child whilst husband drinks.

His family are child orientated so I can imagine it will not go down well if we don't bring child and she has been invited. Husbands sister will be going and she has slightly older children and will bring them most likely. I dislike her and her children and how my child behaves around them because they get away with murder and I feel I have to give in to mine around them as it seems unfair which also stresses me.

I think a wedding and an evening do are no place for a child and I don't want to have to go and adult for my child and my husband.

Can you tell I'm stressed?

What would you do and what do you do in these situations?

I would leave the child

You dislike your SILs children?! Wow.

Honestly? I wouldn’t go at all. I’m not a fan of evening invitations anyway, either one is important enough to witness the couple be married or one is not. That’s fine, but weddings are about witnessing two people committing to one another.

Is there a rule that she has to like them?

If I tried taking mine to a party at 7.30 at 7yo they would have fallen asleep on the way there and been grumpy. (But fine if we were already at a party).

Leaving them with your patents sounds win-win!

It's not obligatory to like anyone's children. In fact lots of kids are arseholes

@WarriorsComeOutToPlayaaay

It is possible to not like other people's children for various reasons but usually down to differences in how they are parented and therefore how they behave. I can think of quite a few friends and families children I'd rather not spend time with.

Why is that shocking. A lot of people don't like other peoples kids. I'm sure some people didn't like mine much.

If the child comes, your dp will have to stay sober enough to parent him properly.

Kids should never be around drunk parents.

Why will it stress you out because your DH is drinking?

I'd go with my DH and DC and leave earlier. Let them play with their cousins and enjoy the family time. You may not like SIL and her DC but I'm sure that won't apply to everyone.

I'd take DC, leave when they go ratty and let DH sort out a way home. Sounds like him drinking more than you'd like is a given and that you won't enjoy it, so may as well leave without dealing with that. Let your child get away with murder on one day which is quite clearly a special occasion and then revert to normal expectations on return!

I’d leave your child with your parents.

I think it is a shame for your poor dd to miss out. Family events are important. At 7 they should be able to handle the odd late night for a special occasion.

arrange accommodation for dh. Go and then leave when you’ve had enough , leave dh to it and see him the next day

I'd send your husband and child, weddings are for families and kids, you obviously think you are better than your husbands family (and him too for that matter) let him get a hotel for him and your daughter and enjoy themselves

I'd send your husband and child, weddings are for families and kids, you obviously think you are better than your husbands family (and him too for that matter) let him get a hotel for him and your daughter and enjoy themselves

This is a bizarre response

You are sensible and I agree with you. Leave the child with the grandparents.

People often drink time excess at weddings and it’s unpleasant for non drinkers and children.

What an unpleasant and odd thing to write.

I'd leave your husband with his parents and enjoy the evening with your child. Your DH needs to take some responsibility for himself and you need to stop taking responsibility for him. You're not his mum.

I'd get a babysitter and just you and DH attend.

Reply to invite with " Thankyou for the invitation, Bob and Emily are delighted to accept and both look forward to the evening. "

That makes it politely clear little DC Bomily isn't coming. No explanations or excuses required.

If your parents are happy and willing, I'd leave your dc with them and go for a child free evening.

Sorry, pressed post too soon.
If your dh wants your dc to go, then I'd make it on condition that he is the one to do the driving and the child care.