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Original poster

Twenty one years since my husband died and...

38 replies

Elderflower14 · 09/11/2022 19:39

I still have moments when I stop and want to weep... My DH died in 2001. Ds2 found him and couldn't wake him up.. 😔 😔
Today I was organising assisted travel for ds2 on the train.... I was talking to the assistant about things that have gone wrong in the past and he said "Oh and of course its you and his Dad he goes to when these things happen...."
I just gave a gulp and didn't speak for a moment... I didn't tell the man that my husband died a long time ago..
On a day to day basis I'm fine it's just occasionally things come along go bump!

OP posts:
pyjamafashionista · 09/11/2022 20:57

I lost my husband at 29 in an aviation accident. I'm remarried. Every now and then I have a moment. A memory. A thought. They are part of the fabric of who we are 💜

Original poster
Elderflower14 · 09/11/2022 20:58

weebarra · 09/11/2022 20:53

I remember you of old. How is W doing? It must be so very hard for you.

I don't talk about W on here much now due to an extremely vicious thread about us both on another site last year... He is doing well though. Thankyou for asking.

OP posts:
YetAnotherWalk · 09/11/2022 21:19

Sending you and W a big hug. You've had more than your fair share of loss x

Original poster
Elderflower14 · 09/11/2022 21:30

Thankyou to everyone who has replied.. Huge hugs to those who have found themselves in the same diificult club as me... 😔

OP posts:
heidbuttsupper · 09/11/2022 21:40

Hugs to everyone Flowers
5 years next year for me, I can't even believe it as it still feels like yesterday. I have moved city and done really well at my job in new city but the last few weeks I've been really struggling

Original poster
Elderflower14 · 10/11/2022 16:31

I've just watched an old episode of Call The Midwife and this quote was at the end... "Look for it. Look for it shining over your shoulder, on the past. It was light where you went once. It is light where you are now." I think that it is beautiful!!

OP posts:
Runzilla · 30/12/2022 20:06

Elderflower14 · 10/11/2022 16:31

I've just watched an old episode of Call The Midwife and this quote was at the end... "Look for it. Look for it shining over your shoulder, on the past. It was light where you went once. It is light where you are now." I think that it is beautiful!!

Just catching up on old threads - what a moving way to describe the past and to remind yourself of the beauty and joy in the life around you now. I try not to dwell on the sadness of my husband not seeing his boys grow into beautiful men. I will write that in my little book to remind me, thank you, Elderflower xx

Original poster
Elderflower14 · 30/12/2022 20:32

@Runzilla It is beautiful isn't it.. Ds2 came home for Christmas... One morning we went down to the shop.. Halfway home I realised I'd forgotten something so sent ds2 back and carried on home... He took some time to get home. When he arrived he said he had popped into the chapel graveyard to see his Dadda... ♥ ♥

OP posts:
doodleygirl · 30/12/2022 20:38

I just want to wish you and your lovely W a very happy 2023. I always loved hearing about his antics.

I have no experience of such a loss but my thoughts are with you both.

bloodywhitecat · 30/12/2022 20:45

I am 10 months in, I cannot imagine being 21 years in as I am at the I-don't-want-to-wake-up-in-the-morning stage. This thread gives me hope that I can get past this stage so thank you Flowers

Original poster
Elderflower14 · 30/12/2022 20:55

doodleygirl · 30/12/2022 20:38

I just want to wish you and your lovely W a very happy 2023. I always loved hearing about his antics.

I have no experience of such a loss but my thoughts are with you both.

Thank you.. It became impossible to talk about him on here... Also there was an absolutely vile thread on Reddit which I wouldn't have known about if someone hadn't told me...
He's doing very well and has had a good year...

OP posts:
Original poster
Elderflower14 · 30/12/2022 20:56

bloodywhitecat · 30/12/2022 20:45

I am 10 months in, I cannot imagine being 21 years in as I am at the I-don't-want-to-wake-up-in-the-morning stage. This thread gives me hope that I can get past this stage so thank you Flowers

Sending you a huge hug..... ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

OP posts:
Original poster
Elderflower14 · 30/12/2022 21:10

I've just remembered another DH story.. The Christmas ds2 was 2 we bought him a tractor... For some unfathomable reason the instructions were in French...
DH decided to put the tractor together at 8pm on Christmas Eve and shut himself in the dining room...
At 10pm I gingerly opened the door...
"How are you getting on darling??
" DO YOU WANT TO BLOODY DO IT???? "
" Errr Nooooo! "
" WELL BUGGER OFF THEN!"
I disappeared off to bed.. DH followed several hours later..
Matters weren't improved the next day when ds2 preferred the enormous box that the tractor came in!! 🙊 🙊 🙊

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