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Original poster

Prison release/DV

10 replies

Itsclose · 09/11/2022 19:25

My daughter suffered domestic violence. Social services became involved. He went to prison. Time he comes out he would have done 2 years

Social services have been a good help and support and kicked my daughters butt when needed. But it has also not allowed her to move on. It's felt like a massive ball and chain tied to her ankle. Your life is just not your own. As much as they are there to offer support its extremely stressful

At meeting they never have Any concern about my daughter. Its literally check how the ex is behaving in prison slag him of for 10 mins and that's it .

Anyway although my daughter does not live with me we both got rehoused. To a place thats safe. We have both been looking forward to Xmas. Thinking about how we want Xmas to be. Making it look extra xmassy. Just feeling genuinely more positive.

Then I realised that he's coming out of prison in February. And it then feels shit . Social services are probably going to be on a mad one even though he does not know where she lives. We/she just wants to get on with life

Hes actually made life hell. He's been in prison but my daughter and me/family have been suffering all this time and have often felt like we have done something wrong. It's been awful at times. Honestly get why some DV victim find it hard to ask for help.

I honestly wish him dead or for him to end up in prison for many years. I know that's awful but that's how I feel.

We just want to live our life now.

OP posts:
Damnautocorrect · 09/11/2022 19:30

this is a bump really for more knowledgeable people to appear!!
I’d imagine they will just want to make sure she’s keeping the kids safe and not back in contact. It’s not social services that caused this. It’s him and his shitty behaviour.

from another DA survivor here, I’ll be honest it never does leave you. I still don’t have social media accounts like normal people, work places I never have my name or picture on anything. It affects a lot of ways I live my life. I’m sorry you’re going through this as well and hope he leaves you all in peace.

Original poster
Itsclose · 09/11/2022 20:07

Damnautocorrect · 09/11/2022 19:30

this is a bump really for more knowledgeable people to appear!!
I’d imagine they will just want to make sure she’s keeping the kids safe and not back in contact. It’s not social services that caused this. It’s him and his shitty behaviour.

from another DA survivor here, I’ll be honest it never does leave you. I still don’t have social media accounts like normal people, work places I never have my name or picture on anything. It affects a lot of ways I live my life. I’m sorry you’re going through this as well and hope he leaves you all in peace.

Thank you. I know they are there to help etc but its been a long time. I would understand them stepping up a bit when he's out keeping an extra eye on things etc. But he's been in prison and they have not left her alone. And some professionals have actually lied. There's no point in making a Complaint as the moment has gone also don't want to upset the apple cart . But its not nice walking on egg shells when you have not done anything wrong. Just hope it's over soon

OP posts:
Damnautocorrect · 09/11/2022 20:37

Oh bloody hell that’s not what you need.
what’s your gut feeling about him coming out? Do you think he will leave them alone?

PickledRat · 09/11/2022 20:52

He will be under the probation service when he is released. Be quick to inform them if he attempts contact with his victim(s).

Original poster
Itsclose · 09/11/2022 21:03

Damnautocorrect · 09/11/2022 20:37

Oh bloody hell that’s not what you need.
what’s your gut feeling about him coming out? Do you think he will leave them alone?

There's just no telling . He does things like say he knows where she lives . When he's questioned further it turns out he does not . Its all Mind games.

There's a 15 year restraining order on him. Just hope he keeps away as that will have a knock on effect on everyone abd it won't be him who suffers.

OP posts:
Greenshake · 09/11/2022 21:12

Probation will be all over this. Depending on his actual conviction, he may come under multi-agency management protocols as well. There may also be a Victim Liaison Officer involved.

Original poster
Itsclose · 09/11/2022 22:03

Greenshake · 09/11/2022 21:12

Probation will be all over this. Depending on his actual conviction, he may come under multi-agency management protocols as well. There may also be a Victim Liaison Officer involved.

He was let out on licence for 3 weeks . But ended up back in due to breaking his conditions. And messing with his tag. Nothing linked with my daughter he had 3 weeks to try contact but he never did thank god . Now he's served his whole sentence come Feb. I don't know what his rules would be. I know he's not allowed near my daughter. I'm not sure about anything else though.

OP posts:
Greenshake · 09/11/2022 23:01

Ah so he is coming out at sentence expiry date? Whilst he won’t be supervised by Probation the Restraining Order is still a powerful tool. Your local Police might have some sort of programme as well - we certainly do here.

Original poster
Itsclose · 09/11/2022 23:16

Greenshake · 09/11/2022 23:01

Ah so he is coming out at sentence expiry date? Whilst he won’t be supervised by Probation the Restraining Order is still a powerful tool. Your local Police might have some sort of programme as well - we certainly do here.

Well hopefully. He leaves dd alone . I don't care what else he does just leave her to live her life.

OP posts:
Greenshake · 09/11/2022 23:19

I wish you and your daughter all the best 🌷

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