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Original poster

The best thing about having a mum?

38 replies

LegoVsFoot · 09/11/2022 19:06

This might sound random...but I never had a mother figure. I'm a mum now and want to give my kids everything I never had.

So what is the best thing about your mum/having a mum? Special relationship, support, nice/funny memories...anything, would just love to hear it. I want to give that to my children.

OP posts:
DarlingDarwin · 09/11/2022 19:07

Their smell

FayeGovan · 09/11/2022 19:08

Just having them in the house made me feel safe.

BobbyBobbyBobby · 09/11/2022 19:09

A little hand hand reaching up to hold your hand.

BabyYoZenZen · 09/11/2022 19:09

Someone who always has your back, always builds you up and shows you kindness, fully believes in your innate goodness- just very supportive

love6421 · 09/11/2022 19:10

unconditional love.
I have a Mum, but growing up, love always felt conditional. I had to be the person she wanted me to be. I've never felt properly loved or accepted by her.
I'm the total opposite of that with my children.

LynetteScavo · 09/11/2022 19:10

Her cooking. My DM is a really bad cook, but everything is cooked with love so it tastes better than other food.

CookPassBabtridge · 09/11/2022 19:11

Love, cuddles, safeness, humour, friendship, positivity, fun, sillyness.

ChunkyThighs24 · 09/11/2022 19:12

I didn't have a relationship with my mum growing up, nor my dad. I have a 3yo DD now & like you, I want to give her everything I didn't receive. The most important thing, I've found, is that my DD feels listened to/heard. We talk about everything. I know I'll get it wrong at times but I hope the main thing DD looks back on in years to come was just knowing & feeling that throughout it all she was incredibly loved.

LoveShitJokes · 09/11/2022 19:12

Warmth ❤️

SleeplessinSouthwold · 09/11/2022 19:12

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Onceinnever · 09/11/2022 19:14

My mum just really cared about everything I did and everything my dd did.

SleeplessinSouthwold · 09/11/2022 19:16

Sorry about my post OP, I've reported it🤔

afromom · 09/11/2022 19:17

Being able to talk to her about absolutely anything and knowing that even though she may be disappointed/upset at first she will ALWAYS have your back and be there to listen. I had/have this with my Mum and (I hope- he tells me he does) DS has this with me.

Yes we have argued, she pisses me off (as I'm sure I do too), but no matter what all is forgiven and she has my back if I need her.

I have this with my Dad too, he's amazing too, but there are still some things I'd only share with my Mum.

grapehyacinthisactuallyblue · 09/11/2022 19:17

I don't really get on well with my mum, but I know she will always be there for me. There's no doubt that she cares for me and my sister. That strong feeling is quite encouraging.

A580Hojas · 09/11/2022 19:17

I think loving parents (whether they be mothers or fathers) need to give their children a sense of security. And remember they are individuals with their own lives to lead as they grow up. So it can be tricky. They need to be very attached to you in the early years and then parenting involves gradually letting go of that attachment as they grow up.

lovelovelove2 · 09/11/2022 19:18

No matter what I've done my mum has always been there for me. Made a few rouge choices in my younger years but knowing you have this one person who you can always trust and always has your back is wonderful. The love my mum has for me and my sisters and our kids is unwavering and just wonderful xx

QueenWenceslas · 09/11/2022 19:18

My mum is genuinely my best friend. She’s always there, ready to drop anything whenever I need her. We love pottering around the shops together, she gives me good advice and she always has my back.

I lost my dad when I was in my twenties so it probably makes me appreciate her even more.

YukoandHiro · 09/11/2022 19:18

Having someone who is interested in what you've got to tell them, whatever it is. I can always call my mum if I need to talk about something. She doesn't always give me the best advice, but that's not the point really.

Mumoffairy · 09/11/2022 19:20

She makes me feel safe and i feel like i can tell her anything without being judged. Ive done some pretty stupid stuff in my teens and she was always there for me.

OliviaFlaversham · 09/11/2022 19:20

-Unconditional love
-Someone who always champions you and is proud of you
-Someone you know adores you just for being you with no caveats
-Someone who you have little shared things with like a special door knock or hand squeeze

I always knew just how much my mum loved me and that it was unwavering. We grew up with little of monetary value but so secure in the knowledge of her being there for us. She always listened. Properly listened.

Gosh I miss her! She would have loved being a grandmother for longer than the few years she got to.

itsgettingweird · 09/11/2022 19:23

What a sad but also so lovely post.

For me it's always having someone who will fight your corner.

It's not about them agreeing with what you did or liking your choices but always guiding you to become better.

Merrow · 09/11/2022 19:28

I never doubted my mum loves me. She's far from perfect, and we don't have one of those relationships where I confide in her, but I've never doubted that she loves me.

She's not a talker, and brushed over a lot of things that in an ideal world would have been addressed (I self harmed and was anorexic as a teenager, which we never discussed then or now). However I found always tell when she was trying. If I came home upset she might not have given me a shoulder to cry on, but she did make my favourite meal, or decide that we should go to the cinema, just a gesture of something that showed she was trying to make things better for me.

She worked full time in long hours, but when she wasn't working she was with us. I never felt we were second to anything.

Minimalme · 09/11/2022 19:31

My Mum was a bag of selfish shite but I found being a Mum the only thing which has ever made sense to me.

I like to help my kids whenever they need it/want it/will let me. I make an effort to cook their favourite food and keep plenty of snacks in.

I tidy their rooms and happily wash their clothes.

I help them with their social arrangements, giving lifts, booking tickets etc.

My favourite thing is to make them laugh. I do silly faces and jokes. I'm quite sure I'm no comedian but I love laughter and fun.

I want them to have everything I didn't. I want them to feel loved and admired and to know that anything they want to do is good by me.

I am lucky because my three kids (disability allowing) are kind, fun and loving. I am just so lucky to have a loving family-it is something I could only dream of as a child.

WorkHardPlayHard1 · 09/11/2022 19:31

Aw how lovely that you are planning on being the mum you never had. :))
Remember that Mums are not perfect so please dont beat yourself up on this matter.
I read a great book called the incredible years which will guide you to be the best mum you can be xxxx

Buteverythingsfine · 09/11/2022 19:32

My mum is extremely nonjudgmental, so I have always been able to turn to her, supportive, always interested in my life (even the boring bits), helps with time, money, just is always there for me. Seen me at my worst and accepts me. I speak with her pretty much every day, she spoke with her mum every day. She's pretty much perfect and I do worry about when she's not here as life is just better with her in it.