2 year olds behaviour... I'm so fed up with it

[wifeyxx]

I know toddlers throw tantrums but my little boys constant whining and temper tantrums are driving me insane.

He is terrible when his sister makes a noise (7 months) and he starts screaming and a tantrum starts. It's as if he expects her to sit in silence. I'm at my wits end and yesterday I was so fed up. He was such a totally different baby compared to what he's like now.

He won't even eat or sit in the same room as his sister and he never used to be like that. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm so unhappy with it all and it's stressing me out.

Sounds tough. Whining is a sign of disreguation (also the most annoying sound in the world 💐)

He's had his entire world turned upside down by the arrival of his sister. What do you say when he starts getting upset about his sister making a noise?

He has big feelings and needs to feel heard, by you acknowledging and validating them e.g. ‘your sister is being noisy, you don’t like that’ ‘you’re feeling upset by your sister and thats ok’ ‘wow, you’re really angry right now, you’re feeling really mad’.

some good articles

www.janetlansbury.com/2015/03/navigating-the-new-sibling-with-confidence-and-love/

www.janetlansbury.com/2021/11/finding-our-best-response-to-childrens-turbulent-emotions/

Highly recommend the books How to Talk So Little Kids will Listen and Calm Parents Happy Siblings.

Great one on whining www.janetlansbury.com/2011/08/why-the-whining-and-4-steps-to-eventual-peace/

My DS was like this with his baby sister, he's autistic and the noises she made really bothered him because they were loud and unpredictable.

I tell him that's his sisters way of talking to him and she wants to play with him. He was never like this before. Some days he can be fine with her then others he can't be bothered.

There's days where he will help me feed her, bath her etc and not be bothered about the wee noises she makes. And I'm not talking about bug screaming noises or anything. It's just little cooos. That kind of stuff.

He also seems to never act like that when anyone else is here like my mum, dad, partners parents etc

It's the unpredictability of it OP. Those tiny noises she makes feel loud to him

I don't think he's autistic though

No he probably isn't, but he may be sensitive to noise. Have a look at sensory processing stuff online, might help you to understand his reactions a bit. Lots of people with sensory processing issues aren't autistic, so no need to diagnose or anything. He will learn to live with it too, eventually. It just might take a bit of time and patience.

I'll have a read thanks. I just think it's weird how some days he can be fine n others not. He doesn't react like that if she's crying and that can be really loud! Just wish I knew wat was going on in his head. Just makes me sad

Following this thread, because I have an almost 2 year old and 7 week old and honestly I can't cope.

DD1 constantly screaming and whining at the TINIEST thing. I feel like I can't use the validating technique strategies, because her language isn't at that level yet.

I try regulate her emotions by cuddling her or playing with her when i'm not occupied with my newborn, but that only works for a short time.

I feel for you OP it really isn't easy.

My oldest is autistic and sensitive to noise - but some days he’s much more sensitive than others. It depends how he’s feeling, if he’s hungry/tired/cold/not well, if he’s already coped with lots of noise/stress/change that day, the particular characteristics of the noise, if he’s feeling safe enough to show he’s not coping (so if we had visitors for example he’d hold it together better than if it was just me)…

I’m not for a moment suggesting your child has autism, lots of children can’t deal with noise, but the day to day difference in his ability to cope with noise isn’t really that surprising. We all have days where we can cope with stresses better than others. He’s very very young and a baby in the family is a huge thing for him. I’d actually praise him for leaving the room when he can’t cope with her noises, that’s a much better strategy than my son’s which was to try and attack the baby.

My son used to attack too @Thegreenballoon - that was a stressful two year phase 😬

Can the older siblings go to nursery for a few hours a day and give you and the babies a break?

I'm at my mum and dads just now and she's making loads of noises and he's absolutely fine 🙄. It's really only when we are home as a family. It's just strange.

He's starting nursery in December for 2 half days so I'm hoping that helps him.

He doesn't hit out at her or that, just kinda screams and turns to me or his dad. I'm hoping it's just a phase and Hel grow out of it. Not long ago he used to shower her with kisses. He was even feeding her 3 days ago