How to handle home times when dc brings friends home from school

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Dc1 in y6. I'm hoping this is a Y6 only problem and once they hit secondary school I won't have to think twice.

Dc1 knows they can bring friends home from school as they wish. We don't live in a particularly nice neighbourhood, so playing out is restricted.

As its getting darker, I'm not sure what to do about them getting home. Previously in the lighter nights, they'd just leave, or dc1 would walk them home just to get a bit more time together.

All friends live within 3 streets so it's not far at all. I wfh so am not always actually free to walk them home, and sending them alone in the dark seems wrong. Similarly, sending dc1 who then would walk home alone seems equally wrong.

I also have a younger dc who isn't old enough to be left home alone so if I then walk them, I'm dragging both kids out.

I don't want to stop her having friends round, as its nice. But equally, I'm not too happy about getting them home after.

I suppose the short answer is text the parents and ask, and I tried that with a friend she had round yesterday and still yet to get a reply. Even just knowing the other parents boundaries on this.

3 streets? I'd just text the parent to let them know their DC were heading home now, then wave them off. End of.

If they come to yours the parents should collect if they are worried
I'd say no to after school visits until you've arrange the pick up with her parents

I'd like to just say bye at our door

I'll test around the parents and see what they want.

I guess it’s up to the parents and if they’re happy for the kids to walk home alone. What sort of time would they be heading home? I think if it’s still relatively early (pre 6.30pm) and a short distance, I’d be happy for my child to walk alone.

Hmm, personally I would have wanted to be consulted before my child went to your house, rather than just going home from school with your dc without any proper arrangements having been agreed. At that point, I would discuss with the other parent about how they were getting home. I wouldn't have been happy with my 10/11yo dd walking home in the dark alone, even if it is only 3 streets.

I’d text parents and say “do you want child to walk home or do you want to collect them?”

Pretty flexible here regarding spontaneous meet ups but appreciate not everyone is! It sounds like the other parents are too though.

I’m assuming the other parents are ok with their kid walking 3 streets by themselves otherwise they would pick up?
I would text and check… but honestly if the parent is not picking up, I would say they are happy with the kid walking home and a curtesy text “your kid is on your way” it’s all it’s needed

I'll test around the parents and see what they want.

For heavens sake!!!! You are running a free creche and delivery service and I expect the parents would really like you to keep doing it.

But What do YOU want?

If they want their kids to play at your house afterschool tell them in advance now, they need to come and collect them, since you will not be responsible for worrying about them walking home in the dark.

If you don't decide what you want to do and stick to it, there are plenty of CFs out there only too keen to take advantage of you. The friend you contacted couldn't even be bothered to reply.

No. It will not get better when they get to secondary school - you will be the established afterschool youth club. If everyone is used to an open house, they will start to think they own the place.

So many questions. Are they coming around every single evening? Do you have to feed them all? Supervise them? What about homework? Does your DC2 get enough attention whilst all this is going on?
It is all fine if all these areas are manageable for you and you are happy with it.

But if it is all getting a bit much... After establishing that they must be collected, I'd be reducing the visits to one or two set days a week. I bet the friends would value the visits more if it wasn't every day.

Its really nice that your child is good at making friends and that you welcomethe friends but in this scenario, it does sound like you need to set some boundaries so that you don't get swamped with this situation.

Just to add that I sympathise, I was in a similar situation with a much younger DC and just wanted my DC to make some friends as we were new to the area. But people took advantage and the situation got out of hand.