Was your first love a woman ?

[Marmalademunchies]

I’m wondering how common this is amongst other women ( not necessarily gay).

I fell in love with another girl aged 16 and it lasted a few years. At the time there was a lot of secrecy and feelings of shame. My mother has never forgiven me. I just wonder how often it happens.

Being gay or bisexual isn't uncommon at all, and nothing to be ashamed of, it says nothing negative about you or anyone else and your mother is wrong. I'm sorry that you were made to feel that way OP. No person needs their parent to have any undue involvement in their sexual or romantic lives (gay or not), particularly if their views are hateful or founded on bigotry or their own inability to accept their children as they are and as sentient individuals making their separate and own path. The tables should be turned and really it should be your mother at home hoping you will forgive her but I appreciate that may not reflect reality.

My first proper love wasn't a woman simply because it happened to be a man (I'm female) but I am happily and openly bisexual and have always known this, it could easily have been either.

Should my monogamous long-term relationship (15+ years so far)with my male partner break down for whatever reason (doesn't feel likely but these things are not ever guaranteed) and I looked to date again after that then the gender of that person wouldn't matter to me at all, only the connection and how they treated me.

First love and main love of my life were women. I'm bisexual and married to a man now, but would only seek out women if my marriage ended for whatever reason.

I'm straight and no it was tutles men all the way down.

But I know other women for whom it was a woman. The important thing is that it shouldn't be important. We should be able to love who we like, regardless. Your mum has messed with your sense of self. Have you tried counselling? It's awful to have the person who is supposed to love you unconditionally not loving a part of you.

I mentioned it on counselling once. It was a massive thing for me to talk about as I have never told anyone except my partner. The counsellor didn’t pick up on it or notice.
It has left me with a deep feeling that there is something wrong with me.
My mothers disgust and rejection has had a massive impact on me. It’s really affected the way she relates to me. I’m the black sheep of the family.

The counsellor didn’t pick up on it or notice.

The counsellor may not have thought it was important since many people have relationships like happily with same sex, both or neither. The part you need help with is your feelings of shame.

No. My first love was a boy I met on holiday. I've liked lots of girls and women, even loved as good friends, but never felt anything even vaguely sexual. Is that unusual? To the best of my knowledge no girl or woman has ever fancied me.

However when I was at school I knew a couple of girls who were involved with other girls. Not for several years but for a while and everybody knew about it.

It happens, there's nothing wrong with it that I can see.

Your mother is overly harsh if she has never forgiven you. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. We can't choose with whom we fall in love, it just happens.