Should I be going every day?

[SpinningFloppa]

Posted in lone parents but it’s so quiet there and need quicker responses to know if I’m unreasonable not to go today.

My dad is a wheelchair user, recently he had a fall in his house and he wasn’t found for 3 days. He is in hospital at the moment he is fine not injured physically but it’s for observation and because of how long he was on the floor without water I’ve been up the hospital every single day since apart from one day but the trouble is my mum seems to be expecting me to go up every single day, obviously I’ve tried my best but I have 4 children and I’m really struggling taking them up every day.
My oldest has asd and can be difficult to keep her quiet on the ward which is obviously full of other patients. Not to mention 4 kids on and off buses in the rain. I spent both Saturday and Sunday up the hospital so barely got anything done I didn’t do anything with them all weekend which I feel bad about, the weather is also bad meaning I dragging 4 kids up in the rain. I’ve brought him shopping up and I’ve done what I can but daily? Am I expected to go every day? She messages me every day asking if I’m going

Can you go without the children or only some of them? Can your mum or anyone else look after them if the dad isn’t around?

No you don't need to go every day.
Has your dad got a phone so you can keep in touch with him.

I'm not sure from your post if your parents are together, if your mum is so worried about him she could go.

You have quite enough on your plate and need to prioritise your children.
They have seen their grandad, now I'd make a plan to see him when he is discharged, and at intervals to suit you, as in your family.

My mum is going daily that’s why she wants me to come for company I guess

She does go she wants me to go with her but no they are not together split when I was young but remained friends

I don't understand, is your mum going, or not? Well, in any case, I defo think you've done your bit.. I'm sure your Dad knows you love him, without killing yourself going back & forth with the kids..

Oh, I see, re your mum, well, it's not really up to you to keep her company.. I'm sure she's not dragging children along with her.. :-(

You don’t need to go every day unless he’s dying there is no reason to be there every day and plus it must be annoying for the other patients to have your kids in the ward every day
youve seen him enough go again in maybe three or four days if he still there . Mum should understand this

I tried to explain that to her, the day I didn’t go was the day after as he looked exhausted and I said not coming up today as he needs rest and looked tired and also it’s not nice for the kids to see him like that and she said “and it’s also not nice to be in there on your own”

Why doesn't your mum stay at home with the kids and you can go on your own?

No point moaning at you without a compermise.

Choose what days work for you. Tell them you will be visiting on these days. Stop discussing it, don't feel the need to justify yourself.

Your mum should keep out of it. Why doesn't she offer to look after the children for you so that you can go one day? (And you could come home the long way round, via a really nice cafe )

My mum was in hospital for several weeks recently and in her ward my family were the only visitors. As long as he's seeing someone every now and then, that's fine.

It's just not practical to be there every day, shit as it is. Is there anyone to share the burden?

My mum does not look after
my children so that’s not an option, I just told her I can’t make it I’ve picked up my daughter from school today and she’s had a tantrum all the way home I’m not now dragging her out it was difficult enough getting her home

He's not on his own, she's there anyway. I suspect this is more for her benefit than his.

Just say no.

Our local hospital is still limited to one visitor per patient!
I'd text/video call daily but it's not practical for you and 4 dc to visit every day. Do you visit him daily at home?

He doesn’t have his phone with him but no I didn’t go up every day I wouldn’t go to anyone’s house every day, I actually haven’t seen him in a while as he lives an hour away from me. She didn’t go either so she definitely only wanted the company!