Tell me your experiences of changing secondary school

[Stormyscratchywindows]

DD is in Y8 and has never really settled at secondary, been left out of lots of friendship things and doesn't really enjoy the work but that said isn't really miserable so I'd say more resigned to putting up with it but doesn't really enjoy it.

A place has come up at another school and we went to see it today and she really liked it (as did I) but she's worried she won't settle again and it'll be more of the same. Obviously I can't give a cast iron guarantee it won't happen again, she's a really great kid and I suppose a little quirky so not always everyone's cup of tea but who is? I really feel it could be a really god fresh start but I want it to be as much her decision as mine.

Anyone had any similar experiences?

Thank you

Just going through exactly this situation. About to start the new school so will let you know! Guess it comes down to what will be different at the new sch

Thank you and good luck with the new school. So hard to assure them but I really think it'll be a positive thing.

I’m thinking about changing my year 8 dd too. Similar story, never really settled, not many friends, school work is challenging as the school is obsessed with grades. I feel dd is a sensitive soul and would do better in a more caring setting.

But not sure also if I change her school it will mean starting from scratch with no guarantee of friends. It’s so hard and I feel so conflicted.

It's so difficult, she's worried it's a case of better the devil you know, but I'd really like her to actually enjoy going to school. Hope things turn out okay for your DD.
Secondary is so tricky but I'd really like to do it now as Y9 I think is probably leaving it too late.

It's reassuring (tho of course sad too) that others are in same boat. We are fortunate that there's a small independent sch in our area that seems to have gentler kids / gentler approach than the huge comp - which btw is perfect for our older DC.. so it's back to work for me to cover the fees, but hoping it'll be a better environment & even if friendships still prove tricky there's more pastoral & co-curricular to the school.. our DC is up for a fresh start.. Are your DDs? And does the alternative school offer something different to where she is.. it's not going to be easy to integrate into an already bonded year group but if the child & the school are working together or should be totally fine..

I moved DS in year 8 after bullying and a poor SEN department. It was the best thing I could have done for him. The new school had a broader range of options to choose in Y9 which allowed him to take a vocational BTec alongside his core GCSEs, no-one bullied him because the school was a lot stricter so there was less of it around and it gave him the chance to start afresh. He came away with a good set of exam results despite finding the academic side of school really challenging.
What I would say is that starting again with experience of high school, he went in with an attitude of ‘if I just make everyone laugh I’ll fit in’ and he was often in trouble for acting the class clown, but it was by far and away the best decision I could have made for him at that time.

Sounds great - so pleased it worked out. The new school is smaller pastoral care and SEN are so much better, also more school trips and extra curricular clubs and just feels calmer.

I can see why a move is tempting, there seem to be a lot of potential benefits. There are some things easily taken for granted too, which have become very visible as we have just moved our DD. First day was yesterday. They were ok at home time but tearful this morning as the realisation that they don’t know anyone yet, forgot to take buddies phone numbers and are completely clueless as to the location of anywhere. They are really shy. It’s still really early days. Feeling hopeful for them but it is a change.
If you do make the move strongly recommend asking for time while the students aren’t about to help your DD gain confidence in navigating the buildings and also ask the school for guidance on arranging arrival plans with buddies and safe sit areas. Also find out if there are supervised safe sit areas and who to go to for advise / pastoral. It could be beneficial to know and be able to find the people and their locations for support before they start.
Good luck either way

Ours started new school this week too. Y8. Fantastic first 2 days then think the novelty of the new kid wore off & other pupils seem to be leaving ours to it.. so we've had wobbles last 2 days. Have confidence in the school to do their best & appreciate it'll take time but perhaps resigned that our DC is not naturally comfortable socially in the school environment
:-(