How to prevent DC getting depression?

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I am 3rd generation sufferer of depression. My mother suffers terribly as did my late grandma

I know there are no guarantees with anything in life, but what steps can I take with my (currently both tiny) DC that will help mitigate any possible genetic predisposition and protect them from the same fate? I wouldn’t wish it on anyone and sometimes think I shouldn’t have even had children if they will also end up feeling like this.

(I am diagnosed and on medication which helps manage it to a point, combined with self help/lifestyle)

Hopeful bump

clinical depression is preventable but living an active lifestyle, with good nutrition, good sleep habits, to maintain healthy relationships and avoid stressful situations if possible are the suggestions.

Recognition of their own mental health growing is probably the most important thing and keeping communication open.

Easier said than done I would add - trying to get a moody teen to help themselves is near impossible!

I don’t have any answers unfortunately but I do think there’s a genetic link, I suffer with depression and anxiety and so does my mum. Maybe getting your children into hobbies that can grow their confidence from a young age? Like maybe learning a musical instrument, singing, dance or drama?

I was always painfully shy growing up, I think that contributed to my anxiety and depression…

Sorry ISN'T preventable!!!

Honestly, I think you will tie yourself in knots trying to "prevent" your children from having depression during their lifetime. It's just too much pressure to put upon yourself to think that you can achieve this, not to mention how you would feel if they did experience mental health issues later in life.

Please, please concentrate on enjoying their childhood, which will be gone in the blink of an eye, and be open to the fact that mental health is an issue for everyone. Be open and honest when they are old enough to discuss this, and always keep the lines of communication open as they get older.

@gogohmm - what do you mean by "clinical depression"?

I want to model all the right behaviours myself but it’s so hard just to even keep my head above water sometimes

Showing your children love and security can help. Spending time with them. Listening to them. Validating them.
Allowing them to make choices.
Not punishing them.
Letting them be themselves.

All these things can help as well as being out in nature a lot, getting lots of exercise and good nutrition.

But you may not be able to prevent it and that will never be your fault.

Do you know what helps you? Do you know your triggers? Do you know your early warning signs? Help your DC identify the signs something is bothering them and teach them effective coping strategies for stress/ lifting their mood.
help them build good habits and learn to stop depression before it starts. I have depression and it took years to learn to manage it, but This has worked brilliantly with my 17yo who reports he’s the only one in his friendship groups who has never struggled with depression.

@Howmanysleepsnow I don’t think I’m that great at managing myself tbh, I try but when I start to have an episode I more often than not can’t stop it. Unfortunately.

Can you look back and see what the earliest signs are for you? Not sleeping as well, overthinking, lack of energy, lack of motivation, avoidance, whatever? Maybe you can teach your dc to recognise the signs they deserve a bit more TLC, or maybe you can teach them to avoid doing the things you do that allow the cycle to start (putting off doing stuff, feeling on negative thoughts without taking action, withdrawing socially because it seems easier, not treating yourself because you don’t feel you deserve it: those are a few of mine)
Some strategies that help me if I catch things early are: committing to a walk (or other exercise) outdoors daily even if I don’t feel like it; treating myself daily (bubble bath, 15 minutes with a book, a chocolate bar, whatever); doing something I want to put off daily (a phone call, 100 words of an assignment, opening the mail); setting small goals and rewarding myself daily (see above!); setting a timer when I allow myself to wallow (40 minutes in bed, then out for that walk!); speak to someone outside my family daily, even if it’s just on Asda checkout!; notice stuff- changes in seasons, a cat on a windowsill, the cute toddler in a shop- and try to appreciate these little things.

My DS actually asked if depression was genetic because he couldn’t see any other reason he was the only one not affected by it… little did he know how hard I’ve struggled with this stuff!

Thanks @Howmanysleepsnow this is really helpful

We have multiple generations of depression and other mental health issues in my family.

The branches who are worst affected are those whose parents’ unhappiness and anxieties were most prominently displayed. It’s amazing how children will adopt fears about eg socialising, work, prospects, health if they are modelled by their parents.

My mother suffered on and off with depression but made a huge effort not to burden her children with the things which worried her. When she had her down moments, she was at pains to shrug it off as a touch of the blues / a bad day and to emphasise that she’d be okay after a good night’s sleep. It’s only later in life that we realised how unhappy she’d been at various points. We never knew she’d been medicated or had had time off work.

It’s a very selfish perspective but my siblings and I do seem to have emerged relatively unscathed compared with uncles/aunts/cousins. I know it runs contrary to the current advice to be more open about mental health issues but I do think that she was successful in protecting us by taking a different approach.

Someone (who knows a lot about such things) once reassuringly said to me that so long as you love them and are (emotionally) available to them then they’ll be fine. Also, let them feel their feelings (ie don’t tell them not to be sad or angry or whatever, just help them learn how to regulate those feelings as they grow up).