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Working pattern after maternity - can’t agree, what to do?

6 replies

Confusedmama7 · 08/11/2022 09:31

on maternity leave, I need to put in my flexible working request soon and I’m really unsure on what to do in terms of going back to work.

What I would like to do is go back 3 days a week part time doing long days so I have a balance and can spend more time with DC.

We have a nursery two days a week.

Husband wants me back full time because of finances. We don’t own our own property and we need to start saving.

I don’t want to miss out on little ones early days, and to be frank if I do what I do now at home on top of full time work I think I’ll break.

DH says he will help me more but this is a conversation we have again and again. He doesn’t help with housework, hates cooking and on his days off I’m still left with looking after our child. I never get a break. DH thinks I sit at home watching tv all day which js not the case. He wants to go part time instead as he can pick up overtime but he doesn’t really enjoy the baby stuff, and I know I’ll come home to a messy house and be expected to help but when I want help it’s rare I get it.

He’s being very adamant that I go back full time, what do I do?

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 08/11/2022 09:34

Can you both do four days?
(I'm guessing you are the higher earner if he wants you back full time while he's part time?)

Topgub · 08/11/2022 09:35

Get rid of the useless husband?

Suprima · 08/11/2022 09:36

I unfortunately wouldn’t be sacrificing any of my earning potential for a lazy tosser who thought caring for a tiny baby was some kind of holiday.

Only go PT or be a SAHM for a man who cherishes you, respects women’s unpaid labour and who pulls his weight around the home.

This isn’t a man you can rely on, I’m sorry.

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rubyslippers · 08/11/2022 09:37

Suprima · 08/11/2022 09:36

I unfortunately wouldn’t be sacrificing any of my earning potential for a lazy tosser who thought caring for a tiny baby was some kind of holiday.

Only go PT or be a SAHM for a man who cherishes you, respects women’s unpaid labour and who pulls his weight around the home.

This isn’t a man you can rely on, I’m sorry.

This is spades

XanaduKira · 08/11/2022 09:39

Suprima · 08/11/2022 09:36

I unfortunately wouldn’t be sacrificing any of my earning potential for a lazy tosser who thought caring for a tiny baby was some kind of holiday.

Only go PT or be a SAHM for a man who cherishes you, respects women’s unpaid labour and who pulls his weight around the home.

This isn’t a man you can rely on, I’m sorry.

Absolutely this!

singlemomof3 · 08/11/2022 10:01

What's good for the goose is good for the gander so the saying goes

If it's true about your financial position then he has a point. Going part time is a luxury and it's unfair to put the burden of financial responsibility on him when you wouldn't do it yourself

He needs to do more at home though - I'd be making it clear that if he doesn't you'll go part time time

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