I want to avoid Christmas but can't!

[ReadyTeddyGoooo]

I'm going through a very difficult time with severe mental health problems at present. These are long term problems over many years but have recently got worse. Im battling so many things - anxiety, ocd, panic attacks, depression, adhd, etc. I'm receiving treatment and on meds.

Most years I find Christmas totally overwhelming and it really spikes my anxiety.

This year, I'm already feeling it and it's only early November. It's seeing everything Christmasy in the shops, posters and signs everywhere for events, town lights going up, conversations about Christmas, etc. I just want to avoid it but I can't. It's everywhere and will be for weeks to come. I think Christmas spikes my anxiety because it's like everyone 'has to be happy' at that time of year and I feel that as a pressure on my mental health. I've also had some terrible Christmas's in the past, particularly in recent years too so there's a horrible association now.

The sad thing is, I do have two young children (4 and 1) who deserve to enjoy Christmas activities and events (and will do). I would never deny them that at all but at the same time, inside I don't cope well with it and will be longing things to just go back to normal. If it was just 2 or 3 days of Christmas, maybe it wouldn't be so bad but the length of time and hype feels so overwhelming. I even have a Christian faith so in that respect, the religious meaning behind it, is important to me. It's just the rest of it.

Can anyone else relate?

Is there any way of avoiding any of it? Or feeling less overwhelmed?

Any advice? Thank you

When DD was 5 I was suffering from horrendous depression, DH was working overseas for the entire Christmas period and all I wanted to do was close the curtains and ignore it all.
We put the tree up around 12th Dec, I did all the shopping online, and dedicated a single day to visiting family.
The rest of the time DD was content to watch a Xmas movie or read a book about Santa etc. The day itself was spent just me and DD opening & playing with her presents, a simple aunt bessies dinner and then a hot chocolate before bed.
She's 13 now and still remembers it as "our cozy Xmas" she enjoyed it as much as she does any other year.

Don't feel pressured into doing anything that you don't feel able to do just because it seems like it's what your children need.
They'll enjoy their xmas even if it's very small, to them it'll still be special.

As for all the "Christmas Cheer" in November, just ignore it, even now I just roll my eyes and refuse to even think about it until at least December.

You don't have to do any events and activities. A 1 year old won't remember and the 4 year old probably won't either.

Make your own Xmas routines / things.

And that might be nothing until Xmas day.

Decide what you want to eat, that might be roast, but it might also be a curry or a pizza.

You are not being unreasonable. Most of Xmas is unreasonable hype these days. Do what you can manage. Will be a simple dinner here, nice desert, a nice present each and a stocking. That's all I can manage. Oh and trying to avoid the ex! It will come and go. Just let it wash over you.

Thank you @sashh @Dollydea @Glumbums

That's good advice. I think I'm worrying about it already because obviously it's everywhere (even this early) and I just have a bad association with it all because of previous years and my current mental health difficulties.

I too can relate. I also have anxiety issues OP, and an extreme introvert, and find the run up from now until the 25th Dec particularly overwhelming and exhausting. I have learnt that I just do not enjoy many of the activities and experiences that the majority associate with having a merry Christmas (markets, pantos, parties, shopping, huge family meet-ups, booze everywhere, dressing up in sparkly outfits/jumpers, and worst of all Christmas music (bar carols). It’s too much, and behind it all is just a commercial behemoth pushing and pushing and pushing people to spend money.

So I’ve stopped doing most of it, and that’s fine. There is no medal at the end of it. Curated marvellous Christmas Facebook nonsense makes me roll my eyes. I’ve done all the shopping (bar food obviously) and will aggressively avoid going into town between now and January. I’ll be streaming tv series I want to watch and attempting to actively avoid all the relentless ads. I’ll most likely do cold turkey (lol pun) on mumsnet too as the Christmas threads really ramp up now and make me twitch with all the angst.
I do the bits I do like: church and carols, lovely rich food (cheese), gifting presents to people I love and care about, and pretty lights in the dark.

If you have a faith make that the focus and then choose to do only the things that will bring you and your children happiness.