I really miss my friend

[Forestflies1972]

We'd been friends for 10 years but for the last 3 she'd been gradually dropping contact with me. We last met up this time last year when I popped to see her following a family bereavement.

I backed off completely following 2 ignored messages in December and January. Thought I'd give her space and wait for her to contact me. I've heard nothing.

I just miss her. Her friendship meant a lot to me. I haven't really got many other friends and due to disabilities in recent years it's going to be really hard for me to make new connections.

I do have a lovely DH and DC but I miss my mate. Just wanted to share it.

I shouldn't contact her should I?

What about sending her some flowers in the post? Maybe she is going through something and will appreciate your gesture.

I really don't know. I think if this was recent I'd put it down to her struggling with the bereavement but she's definitely been drifting for a few years. I feel like she's probably relieved that I've finally taken the hint. I'm just feeling sad about it. I could really do with a good friend in my life. We did so much fun stuff together with our DC but they've grown up now. I thought we'd continue being friends but I suppose I was just a 'mum' friend to her. I've lost a lot of mum friends since my youngest started secondary school. All of them really but she was my closest.

G

What has changed for her in the last few years?
Babies? Job?
Sometimes life can be very overwhelming and I’ve been though stages in my life when I’ve struggled to connect with even my oldest friends as I have simply not had the emotional energy to deal with anyone else.
If I was you I would write to her. Tell her what you’ve said here and then say that you understand if her life is making it hard for her to be in touch but that you’re there when she’s ready and you’d love to keep the door open on your friendship etc etc ….
Its always worth a try!

Maybe she is struggling with something. I find I can’t deal with close relationships when I’m going through a tough time.

Since lockdown I've found that I'm not keeping up with friendships like I used to. I'm just enjoying a quieter and less sociable life. If I received flowers and a card saying "I understand things may be hard..." I'd find it a bit stifling, and it would not endear me to the sender.

(I may have got the endear bit the wrong way round there)