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Original poster

So this is dating in 2022....

31 replies

KathrynOfArrogance · 07/11/2022 11:57

"you're fit but I don't date mum's or smokers, sorry" 🥴😅
Any more dating app classics?!

He will struggle to find someone in his age group that isn't a parent and wishes to date such a penis canoe that he is.

OP posts:
ClitorisAllsorts · 07/11/2022 11:59

I don’t really see what’s wrong… I wouldn’t have wanted to date anyone with kids before I had them either. Just a world of hassle I didn’t need.

Lottapianos · 07/11/2022 12:01

I think it's fair enough too. If I was dating, I would probably have the same criteria

SpinningFloppa · 07/11/2022 12:01

I think it’s fine that he doesn’t want to date mums or smokers!

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Endwalker · 07/11/2022 12:03

Being up front about your deal breakers can only be a good thing so long as its done respectfully and with tact. It's far better than stringing someone along for weeks or months and then announcing "actually this isn't for me and hasn't been since the start".

PutYourShoesOnWereLate · 07/11/2022 12:03

'Penis canoe' made me laugh but I wouldn't date a smoker and I wouldn't choose to date someone with children either.

BobbyBobbyBobby · 07/11/2022 12:17

I have a friend who is currently looking for love! What she really would like is a companion. She is a mature lady with a large disposable income and has lots of time on her hands and her children are long grown-up and independent.

She has maintained her looks without being obviously high maintenance but so far has attracted scruffy chaps not looking for anything serious, as it were!

Originally she didn’t set an age and was bombarded with men 20/30 and even 40 years younger than her, all professing their love for a mature woman! She was not r motley interacted in these chancers and has adjusted the minimum age but has slim pickings from men her own age but who pay no attention to their appearance or have any interest in keeping healthy or enriching their life with travel and culture.

inininsomnia · 07/11/2022 12:24

Dating isn't easy but I'm terrible with kids and would never kiss a smoker. It's perfectly reasonable for someone to have those preferences.

Icedlatteplease · 07/11/2022 12:28

I'm totally with him on the smokers and if i didn’t have kids I would be on the kids thing too. Maybe he's quite happy flying solo (or casual relationships) rather than needing to compromise just to be in a relationship. Good on him being upfront.

TedMullins · 07/11/2022 12:30

Yeah I don’t think he’s unreasonable here.

Yesthatismychildsigh · 07/11/2022 12:34

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with either of those requirements. I couldn’t kiss a smoker, much less have a relationship, and before I had kids I wouldn’t have wanted to date someone who already had them. Absolutely nothing wrong with having your own standards. He’s not obliged to date anybody he doesn’t want to, for any reason.

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/11/2022 12:35

What’s wrong with that? You must have your own deal breakers. He’s been honest without being rude.

flyingant · 07/11/2022 12:36

I think that's fine. I also wouldn't date a smoker or someone with young children.

pyjamafashionista · 07/11/2022 12:39

I did online dating on my early 30's. My prefs were no children. I didn't have any myself and didn't want to really take on someone else's. As for the smoking- in fairness these days that would reduce the amount of people who would date you by about 85% I would estimate!

Shayisgreat · 07/11/2022 12:39

I don't think he's unreasonable to have these conditions about who he would like to date but when was the context in sharing this info with you? Was it in response to an initial message you sent? If so, it was unnecessary. Was it after a few dates? If so, bit strange for it to suddenly be a deal breaker.

I had conditions when online dating where I didn't want to date smokers so I just never responded to smokers. I also didn't respond to people I didn't find attractive, were unemployed, or who spoke about getting smashed at the weekend because I knew they weren't for me. I didn't respond to every one to tell them what I thought was wrong with them though - because I'm not an arsehole! If someone you don't know sends you a message to tell you why you're not for them, they're probably an arsehole.

Sparklingbrook · 07/11/2022 12:45

Set your stall out I say. Life's too short. I'm not dating in 2022 but in some ways that seems easier. I would always rule out smokers.

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 07/11/2022 12:58

I will rule out smokers and even though I have a son (ADULT) , Id prefer someone without kids. So much hassle with someone who has younger kids.Everyone has their own set of dealbreakers.

SirMingeALot · 07/11/2022 13:40

Sounds completely fine tbh. In particular, being honest about an unwillingness to have a relationship with someone who has kids is actually the responsible choice. Much worse things happen when someone like this meets a person with kids and proceeds regardless, then start to resent the DC for existing despite knowing about them from the word go. If anything he's to be commended.

It may be that he's pricing himself out of the market as it were, because any red line is going to reduce the pool somewhat. But that's not your problem.

wibblewobbleboard · 07/11/2022 13:44

I was similarly blunt when I was online dating. Oops.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/11/2022 13:45

KathrynOfArrogance · 07/11/2022 11:57

"you're fit but I don't date mum's or smokers, sorry" 🥴😅
Any more dating app classics?!

He will struggle to find someone in his age group that isn't a parent and wishes to date such a penis canoe that he is.

Omg how date he have standards or preferences. Surely he should just be grateful and take whatever anyone throws at him.

MrsTimRiggins · 07/11/2022 13:46

Can’t see anything much wrong with that other than being a bit blunt. Better to be honest.

liveforsummer · 07/11/2022 13:47

He could well have also been a prick however I think it's fine to only want to date non smokers. It's certainly a deal breaker for me if they smoke and I don't blame childless people not wanting to date people with dc. I'm single with dc myself and not keen on dating a man with dc. Personally when I don't want to engage with someone I just ignore them rather than respond like he has but who's to say that's better?!

LynneBenfield · 07/11/2022 13:53

His criteria aren’t unreasonable but his tone is pretty rude.

Lockheart · 07/11/2022 13:58

So I'm guessing OP smokes and is a mother.

wackamole · 07/11/2022 14:52

Depends a lot on the context. If it's an acquaintance, friend, neighbour, colleague etc you asked out in person, it's rude. If you contacted him or were matched with him on OLD etc. it makes sense; he probably just looked at your profile and liked your pics but the smoking and children are dealbreakers for him. (Of course, he could put no smokers, no parents in his own profile too.) For OLD, it sounds like a basic bloke trying to be civil. Since it's not a match, would it really matter if he'd said "you're an extremely accomplished KC with a strong track record of philanthropy and community engagement, a wonderful sense of humour and adventure, and the best-written profile I've ever seen... but I don't date mums or smokers" ?

BeLikeElsa · 07/11/2022 14:57

He could have worded it better, but I don’t see the issue here.

If I were single and using a dating app, someone who had children or was a smoker would be a big no-no.

At least he didn’t lead you on and waste your time.