Constant worrying ruining my life !

[Anotherprobleminmymind]

Title sums it all up really . I have spent my life worrying about everything as one problem gets solved I worry about another . The problem then becomes so huge in my mind that I have panic attacks. I know I have OCD, any advice greatly received as it’s ruing my life and mental health 😞

Same boat.

I’ve tried therapy over the years but actually, some of the problems I faced really are huge problems, not just little things.

So while there are ways to deal with them, sometimes things are just too big and anyone would struggle to cope.

Sorry - there was no advice. Just that I know what you are going through.

Sounds like you are over thinking and have constant unwanted thoughts?

Book recommendation by Susan Nolen-Hoeksema -
Women Who Think Too Much: How to break free of overthinking and reclaim your life

Sorry you are experiencing this I’m also a bit of a worrier at times

you should only WORRY ABOUT THE THINGS you CAN CHANGE

worrying about what you can’t change is irrational and a complete waste of time

Oh you poor thing - have you spoken to anyone about it? Your GP, or anything available through your workplace for counselling? In my area you can self-refer to talking therapies but the GP will work through with you if medication might help as well. A family member of mine has managed to improve her anxiety massively with the support of her GP and Anxiety UK (www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/)

Recognising there's a problem is half the battle, you're halfway there to solving this already Don't try and fight it alone, there are people out there who can and will help!

So if you have a formal diagnosis of OCD then hopefully you’ll have some appropriate professional support in place? Are you under a psychiatrist? What’s your management plan?

If you don’t have a formal diagnosis but you’re suspicious that you might have OCD then you need to speak to your GP about the problems and ask them for a referral to psychiatry for assessment. You could also try self-referring to an IAPT service local to you but if you have that formal OCD diagnosis then they might not be able to see you, but worth trying.

Check in with yourself and make sure that you’re engaging with all of the soft interventions/lifestyle factors that would help you to feel better; good sleep hygiene, healthy diet, avoiding caffeine/stimulants, plenty of exercise and very good, strong boundaries with those people around you who might contribute to your worries. My dad acts only out of love for me, but he’s also a very anxious person and is constantly ruminating on things, asking me questions or reminding me about things that I might already be trying to work through myself. Eg. I decide to just get a quote for new downstairs windows - he’ll say “oh good idea”, but before the man has even come to measure up my dad will be asking me about the most minute choices on the style of the windows, which way they’ll open, whether the frame will be foiled or smooth, which ones need to be an escape for fire safety, whether i’m having the UPVC window sills, etc. Sometimes I just have to tell him “that’s enough for now, I can’t make all these decisions now, I’ll wait for the quote”.

You could also get yourself a notebook and make a point of writing down the worry, and try giving yourself permission not to think about it for a while, or hashing it out on paper - all the threads of the worry and worst/best case scenario, you can’t forget it because you’ve written it down, but maybe right in that moment isn’t the best moment to examine it all either.

Sometimes when my brain is very busy with worries and stress and I feel physically very anxious I will get my notebook and write down all the things that are currently in my brain and contributing to my anxiety. Sometimes it helps to just give them a name, acknowledge them on paper and then write myself a few lines about what I can do about them.

I’m no expert and some of these things (the paper exercises) might not be appropriate for a person formally diagnosed with OCD, but they help me as someone very anxious with a formal diagnosis of severe combined ADHD.

Are you ruminating on problems that are current and do need to be solved? Or more a case of rehashing past events trying to make sense of them?

Good luck OP.

I sorted myself out - not so much worrying, as going over & over things from the past. I visualised a big road 'STOP' sign as soon as my idiot brain went there.. it worked, I don't need the sign now, I can automatically just stuff the thoughts back in a mental box! Good luck..

Btw my late DH used to worry re meetings & appts - I told him that he could visualise everything that could hapen, a million times, but things would STILL go differently.. that seemed to help him, too.

@BobbyBobbyBobby yes I think you have summed it up perfectly! I struggle awfully with unwanted thoughts and just one which comes into my mind randomly then haunts me for weeks !

A therapist I saw recommended writing down worries as they come to mind the allowing a "set" time to worry about them, e.g. 5-6pm. By the time you get there, you look at the list and don't want to worry about those things anymore!
Could be worth a try?

@ZealAndArdour thank you for taking out time to reply ! I worry about absolutely everything and I also have feelings of guilt for no reason! I am a kind, very sociable person hiding these persistent, challenging thoughts ! I almost feel the low moods coming on !

This was me, for 10+ years. I went on Sertraline a couple of years ago and it has absolutely changed my life. Nobody knows yet so many people have commented how "well" I seem, and how I've changed and am so much more relaxed. I had numerous courses of therapy, CBT, mindfulness etc. Unfortunately it never worked for me. Have a chat with your GP, OP x

I can identify with the feelings of guilt for no reason. Alcohol makes it worse so I limit how often I drink and know I have to be prepared for a rough time - I’m considering stopping completely.
But it’s other times too. Awful and really stressful.
If there was a reason for it there might be a way to alleviate it, by reframing it, or making amends or whatever. No advice, just sympathy 💐

I empathise completely, I’m very, very self-critical and often berate myself for things that I really had no control over, or that a past less-experienced version of myself made a choice to do/not do.

I really struggle to sit with the negative feelings that something might not go to plan/I’ll make the wrong decision. So I end up with these pros/cons lists that have all been so thoroughly examined and balanced that I’m then totally inert about which direction to go in. I believe this is called “analysis paralysis” in ADHD terms.

Decision making is a really significant problem for me, I’ve started seeing a private therapist about it, but we’re just at the “offloading all my history” stage at the moment. But it already feels quite helpful to have a totally external person to talk to about it all and a different perspective. She’s very understanding and actually said the other day that I’m a very grounded person with good rationale for my decisions, whereas I view myself as a bit of a chaotic, highly strung, stressy chaos goblin.

If it’s within your means, the quickest way you can access some help would be to go privately, you can find an accredited therapist in your area using the the BACP website - www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/how-to-find-a-therapist/

I would have a read through all the bios in your area, see who you get good vibes about, and then just check that they’re very experience and also skilled in multiple different therapy modalities so that they’re able to pull from different bodies of evidence/interventions to be able to meet your needs as they’re uncovered in your first few sessions. The lady I see charges £50 for one hour session, and I see her once a week at the moment, I’m hoping we will reduce that down at some point as I get through a bit of life upheaval and I can actually start on getting some new worry strategies in place.

Therapy & medication.

Alcohol makes things much worse for me as well. The negative self talk for days afterwards is just horrific to deal with.

These days I drink minimally because i hate the impact in has on my life in the days afterwards.

SAME. Mines all MH related and it’s exhausting. Sometimes I’ll read about like a disease or something and be physically sick with worry that I’ve never been tested for it (despite having no symptoms, no family history of it, no reason to be tested at all except anxiety). And it literally crush me until another, bigger worry comes along (like a money problem or work problem or like a fear to do with current events like Putin will nuke everyone or something, something either rational or irrational) and sometimes the new worry will knock the old worry off my mind and all my energy goes to the new worry. But sometimes the new worry isn’t worrisome enough so then I worry about both. Or sometimes I flit back and forth between worries. Man. It’s exhausting. Writing this down I realise how ridiculous it is but honestly it’s not okay and probably the worst thing for my health is the constant amount of stress I’m putting myself under for no reason.

I can very much relate OP. This dropped in my inbox today so I thought I’d share for everyone here: www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/how-to-stop-overthinking-with-ethan-kross-tickets-417062042797

@Spookypig you sound just like me I was so worried about Putin send the nukes over I had to literally stop myself running away ! My mother was a constant worrier, she didn’t allow me on any school trips etc and I am wondering if it’s a learnt behaviour!

i don’t have OCD but I do get terrible anxiety. CBT really did help, especially keeping a worry log. I wrote down every single worry as it crossed my mind. Then I went through and colour coded them (teacher. Love a highlighter.) - so…

stuff I could do something about (then book in a time to do something about it, and write step by steps)

stuff I can do nothing about (remind myself to let go until I can do something useful)

Then at the end of the week, then the month, go over again and highlight everything that had either been sorted, resolved on its own, or was no longer bothering me. This bit was really powerful as it gave me actual evidence that the vast majority of my massive worries were about things that actually didn’t turn out to be The End Of The World.