I posted this in SN chat but I've had no responses and I need someone to talk to.
I'm not devastated because my 15 yo has autism. But because I have been pushing since she was six for someone to notice, someone to care. Instead she's been told she's an attention seeker, a trouble maker, pathetic, selfish, immature etc by schools and even by CAMHS! They diagnosed her with depression and anxiety and put her on medication at NINE FUCKING YEARS OLD. She went through an assessment at eight and the result was that the assessor said she's not autistic because she makes eye contact, she's just intense and irritating. That's on official paperwork! I complained, insisted it be redone, they used the same assessor and she recorded that she thought I was the problem. It took two years for that to be removed from the paperwork.
She's just had to be in a residential programme for a week to assess her neurological condition for any triggers. I had to provide them with as much CAMHS paperwork as I had, and give permission for them to liase, but I didn't tell them anything about my concerns about her possibly being on the spectrum. I thought if they see it, then they see it and that's the last chance really for her to be seen for who she is, but I didn't want to influence them.
The child neuropsychologists who were observing her said they noticed lots of red flags so they had been through her CAMHS records as she's so clearly autistic that they were stunned that she wasn't given a diagnosis seven years ago. As far as they're concerned, she surpassed the threshold in the assessment she had at age eight so they have no idea what the fuck went on there, basically.
They said she's extremely close to mental breakdown, she's got sensory processing disorder, pretty serious executive dysfunction and she's mentally a mess, basically. The only place she's even close to ok is at home and that's because we know her so well, everything has been worked around for her to cope. They've got hold of local CAMHS and said that she needs to be officially diagnosed by them as close to immediately as they can manage, that she doesn't need an assessment because they both have given their professional opinion, they just need her psychiatrist to concur. They're really on the ball with it and they're convinced that her neurological disorder is at least partially the result of severe and chronic stress due to unmet needs.
I am devastated. For her and all the years she's felt out of step and set apart from her peers and her world with nothing more than a "you're such hard work, it's ridiculous" theme to go by. For me, and all the years I've been looked at as a neurotic, rubbish mother who wants her child to have a label; all the times I second guessed myself. For all the time I fought against schools and other professionals and even my own family for the way they weren't respecting her needs. For the damage- all the fucking DAMAGE that's been done by not diagnosing her!! They told her and they told me that she was typical and the problem was with my inability to parent someone with a strong personality. Is being unable to tolerate the sensation of a hairbrush or a shower or even a toothbrush a strong personality?? Is going into total meltdown because she could hear everyone's pens scratching out of rhythm in an exam just the result of a strong personality? Needing to be carried out of supermarkets because she was in a blind panic over the number of people there?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ And it didn't matter that I have other kids who have the same parenting and are absolutely fine!
Do I have any recourse?? She should have got a diagnosis almost half her lifetime ago. The record of the assessment and the markers they used shows she should have. They put her on antidepressants before she was ten and she didn't need them, she needed extra support in school and reasonable adjustments. The impact of all of that cannot even be described
I am just so fucking upset. ðŸ˜ðŸ˜