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Original poster

How the heck can I flirt with someone in a group situation?

17 replies

Celia24 · 05/11/2022 23:13

I joined a hobby group a month ago.

There is one guy I feel a connection with and I think it might be reciprocated. He is just bloody lovely really and I felt strong chemistry from the first meeting. Haven't felt anything like that in 3 years since my last serious ex although I've dated. He is single.

Today I made sure I sat next to him during our break & we got along really well/were laughing and joking etc. I feel there is something worth exploring there but you can't overtly flirt when in a group like that.

At the end of the day he asked if was walking to the train station as well and I was...but we go to 2 different stations near each other! 😂 I guess eventually I would like something to happens, so how do I give signs I'm open to that?

OP posts:
karmaisacat · 05/11/2022 23:19

Haha I wish I had an answer to this, it would help me massively with a woman at my gym 😂

Could you not just maybe ask if he’d be interested in joining you at something linked to the hobby? It sounds like he’s interested in you.

Travellingraspberry · 05/11/2022 23:21

Could you ask if he fancies stopping for a drink on the way to the train station/s next time?

LizzieSiddal · 05/11/2022 23:23

Just ask him if he fancies a drink/coffee. Flirting “in a group situation” is just embarrassing for everyone imo.

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Workyticket · 05/11/2022 23:25

Next week if he asks if you're walking say "I am, yeah but I fancy a coffee / drink on the way, should we see if anyone else fancies it or do you need to rush off?"

That way he can ask others if he's not feeling it or say just you and him should go if he is!

Or say "give me your number and we can meet to walk to the activity together next week from the trains too"

determinedtomakethiswork · 05/11/2022 23:25

Do you know his number? If so, message him and ask an innocuous question. Don't do it late at night though.

Emily1583 · 05/11/2022 23:26

Yep you need to make that walk to the train station away from the group the target for flirting I say.

Original poster
Celia24 · 05/11/2022 23:34

Emily1583 · 05/11/2022 23:26

Yep you need to make that walk to the train station away from the group the target for flirting I say.

The problem is that I've now admitted I get the train from the other station now 😂 It wouldn't make sense to take the train from his. In the name of flirting I'll probably end up in the back of beyond if I go one day/make up an excuse!

OP posts:
Original poster
Celia24 · 05/11/2022 23:35

determinedtomakethiswork · 05/11/2022 23:25

Do you know his number? If so, message him and ask an innocuous question. Don't do it late at night though.

Yes I do. I'll need to pay close attention to our conversations and come up with something to follow up with...

OP posts:
Tiggee2001 · 05/11/2022 23:38

Celia24 · 05/11/2022 23:13

I joined a hobby group a month ago.

There is one guy I feel a connection with and I think it might be reciprocated. He is just bloody lovely really and I felt strong chemistry from the first meeting. Haven't felt anything like that in 3 years since my last serious ex although I've dated. He is single.

Today I made sure I sat next to him during our break & we got along really well/were laughing and joking etc. I feel there is something worth exploring there but you can't overtly flirt when in a group like that.

At the end of the day he asked if was walking to the train station as well and I was...but we go to 2 different stations near each other! 😂 I guess eventually I would like something to happens, so how do I give signs I'm open to that?

Casual friendly flirting isn't embarrassing for everyone. Innuendoes are good in a flirty conversation. Smiling and touching the person on the arm or another acceptable part of the body is also a must.

Or just ask them for a coffee, I really think if your getting a vibe that is invaluable in guessing if someone likes you x

Good luck xx

Original poster
Celia24 · 05/11/2022 23:38

Workyticket · 05/11/2022 23:25

Next week if he asks if you're walking say "I am, yeah but I fancy a coffee / drink on the way, should we see if anyone else fancies it or do you need to rush off?"

That way he can ask others if he's not feeling it or say just you and him should go if he is!

Or say "give me your number and we can meet to walk to the activity together next week from the trains too"

The problem is that every time the hobby meets up everyone goes for drinks. So it's impossible to ask really. So yes - I feel quite stuck about how to break away from the group. Maybe he feels the same, who knows?!

I do feel the connection and would hate to miss out, but I also don't want to put myself out there too much.

OP posts:
rosiebl · 05/11/2022 23:42

What's the hobby OP? Might help with advice.

Workyticket · 05/11/2022 23:45

Ah - does everyone always go to the same pub? Could you ask if he's been to {insert new / interesting pub} nearby next time you sit by him and say you fancy trying it?

Depending on the hobby - say you've found a video on x technique / a recipe for xx. Get his number so you can send it over

Original poster
Celia24 · 06/11/2022 00:16

Workyticket · 05/11/2022 23:45

Ah - does everyone always go to the same pub? Could you ask if he's been to {insert new / interesting pub} nearby next time you sit by him and say you fancy trying it?

Depending on the hobby - say you've found a video on x technique / a recipe for xx. Get his number so you can send it over

Yes they do! We were with another person when he asked if I'd be walking to the station and she immediately said 'ah I'll leave you both to it 🙂' which makes me think she picked up on the vibe I think is there.

I'll need to think of something over the next month! And @Tiggee2001 you are so right - we do lots of smiling and laughing together but touch is so important. I don't touch anyone else in the group so if I do that I think it will be clear to him and others I'm interested.

OP posts:
BobbyBobbyBobby · 06/11/2022 00:27

“If you’re not busy at the weekend, do you fancy meeting up?”

Why can’t you say that?

Original poster
Celia24 · 06/11/2022 00:35

BobbyBobbyBobby · 06/11/2022 00:27

“If you’re not busy at the weekend, do you fancy meeting up?”

Why can’t you say that?

Because I'd clearly be asking him out. I'm at the stage of wanting to be more subtle and hope he figures it out I like him and am not just being friendly like with the rest.

Also I've asked men out before and it never seems to work out (I mean obviously I'm single, but relationships that have went well seem to have always been men who have asked).

OP posts:
mackthepony · 06/11/2022 00:40

Is his station in the way to yours? Or vice versa? At least that way its one to one time with him.

As a PP said, maybe text him an innocent question : 'oh, I was wondering what you thought of chapter 7 of this week's book' or whatever your hobby is

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/11/2022 00:48

The problem is that every time the hobby meets up everyone goes for drinks.

Can you be the last ones standing at some point?

What's the hobby? Unless it's freestyle Warhammer painting by numbers with scuba, it isn't outing.

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