Attitudes towards home education

[JudgedAgain]

In the last week I’ve had 3 comments about my dd ! In the past we’ve had comments too and I think maybe people don’t understand a lot about it ?

We don’t follow school hours - dd does 2-3 hours learning each day of core subjects and the rest of the time she decides what she does.
We are flexible in that she can switch days round and work on weekends to have ‘time off’ during the week. Last week she wanted to go shopping so we did this - we had 3 comments when out about why she wasn’t at school , one from a taxi driver and 2 from random people one of which said I’d should be careful as we ‘could be reported ‘ 🤦‍♀️ it’s not a legal requirement to follow school hours !!
We had gone on a weekday early as dd has many health issues and ASD so we like to go out when it’s as quiet as possible for her .

In the past I’ve had comments basically saying home education is an inferior option , that we ‘gave up’ that dd isn’t socialising enough (she doesn’t want to !) and how I should be following school hours as she’s not doing enough but if you factor in break times and moving between classes, assembles etc the core learning hours are very similar.

It’s just frustrating to feel judged and like I shouldn’t be out 9-3 with dd people think she should be in a classroom or at home at a desk working I think.

I'm not having a go at you personally but when my son was unable to be at school due to his needs and a trauma based response to schoos the LA were about as useful as a chocolate fireguard. They were not even interested in putting in the alternative provision that he was legally entitled do until I took them to the LGSO who ordered they apologise and awarded compensation for lost education.

After years of battles with the LA to educate my child I find it astonishing that they are so interested in other children whose parents take on the responsibility to home educate.

They literally had no interest in my child whose needs couldn't be met at school

I'm not alone in this, the story is true for thousands of children.

OP try to ignore it. I think most people are coming from a good place and school is the norm. i have actually found this to be easier post covid as everyone has had to experience a bit of home education when the schools were shut.

Letting a child do whatever the hell they want doesn't sound like the best way to prepare them to function as a member of society, to be perfectly frank.

The homeschooled children I know all have weird parents who think they're better than everyone else.

Sounds absolutely wonderful. I would love to home school my DD (only 1 at the moment) but I’m worried about the comments.

The more militant HE parents are going to get a shock if the schools white paper passes:

“77. We will also introduce legislation to establish a register for children not in school, exploring how this data should be used by local authorities and multi-agency teams to undertake their duties and support children’s education.”

@FartOutLoudDay I would suggest you have a look at what that entails, I'm all for these parents being given a kicked up the arse and start educating their kids but if that new legislation does go through, it has ramifications for everyone.

I’m not passing judgement either way. I think they’ll struggle to get it through parliament as I’ve no doubt the HE community will be lobbying hard against it as they have before. But if it does pass, those who already find any engagement from the LA to be overzealous are going to find it a big adjustment.

"We don’t follow school hours - dd does 2-3 hours learning each day of core subjects and the rest of the time she decides what she does."

The school I work at, it's at least 4.5 hours of learning a day so you are doing less.

The learning is focused on one child though.

When ds went to school, he was chuffed as he did much less work that he had at home.

Agree with all of this ^

The suspicion is not something I would want in my home, thank you very much.

You're also massively over estimating the role of home ed in facilitating abuse - in cases where this has been given as an excuse the have almost always been multiple opportunities for SS to visit. Schools don't save children as the tragic case of Sebastian sadly highlights.

You will also be aware that in law you have no legal responsibility to ensure a parent is looking after a child properly and educating them unless you have a prior reason to be concerned. Ingrained suspicious is not a valid reason. In our society, we don't suspect any parent unless there is a reason for it. This applies to all parents and those educating their children at home are no different.

You should be aware that most children with complex needs have been utterly failed at school. I suggest you have a little wonder about that fact before you direct your ill-informed suspicion at parents who are generally trying their guts out.

Im sure I will get shot down but hey ho, I really dont agree with HS, kids need more than a pen and paper to learn, school environments are good for teaching social skills and routine which is needed for the real world.

Yes - one-to-one teaching counts for more than group so can be delivered in less hours. To quote the ombudsman:

A full-time education
The number of hours teaching that constitutes a full-time education varies according to the year a child is in. The assumptions schools work on are set out below:
Reception and Years 1 to 2 (children aged 5 to 7): 21 hours
Years 3 to 6 (children aged 7 to 11): 23.5 hours
Years 7 to 10 (children aged 11 to 15): 24 hours
Year 11 (children aged 15 to 16): 25 hours

Sorry, should add there, so a child being educated 1-1 could be taught effectively in less hours.

@ZeroFuchsGiven I understand the sentiment but HS, when done well, which is really bloody hard, is much more than just pen and paper.
There are a hell of a lot of schools that don't even provide the pen to paper bit, don't have the resources to deal with high levels of bullying and have kids leave with no qualifications at alarming levels.
I have my beef with HS, especially the new crystal loving unschooling crowd, but it would be disingenuous to say its all pen and paper.

I've been judged for home educating, though the negative judgements were more when they were young - it's been a few years since I've had any negative remarks (round about the time my oldest was as tall as the people asking). Dentists oddly were the ones who seemed to have the most issue with it - one reporting us is how we ended up registered. Ended up a benefit for us in the end, but still felt antagonistic. Most judgements I've had on it have been positive.

I've been judged by home educators for happily meeting with the EHE officer and for sending in lengthy reports (though they haven't asked for either in years), for supporting the idea of registration and having that as an option on the same form others use for their preferences, for using worksheets, for using planned open and go curriculums, for actively teaching my kids to read & do maths rather than just waiting for them to do it naturally, and for 'letting' my secondary age children choose to go to school (I choose for primary, at secondary if they become interested, I support that), and for becoming a school governor and openly discussing and recommending it. I'm one of quite a few long time home educators I know who now avoids home education groups and don't use them socially because the judgement there is far worse than what we get from anywhere else.

FartOutLoudDay I'm pro-register, there are many other countries with registers (or like the US where there isn't nationally, but some states or counties have registers) that do so much better in supporting home educators, but the government has been claiming it's going to put in a home education register for over 15 years. Labour were the ones who first tried. It's been repeatedly discarded, then a year or so later another consultation leading to another call for a register, discard, repeat to sound like they give a fuck.

I wouldn't expect that to pass any time soon and even if it did, I suspect there wouldn't be the resources to actually enforce it. I mean, I am registered and it's been over 7 years since the LA has contacted me or seen anything I've done. I postponed one appointment for funeral reasons and not heard anything since. There is neither the political will nor the capacity to actually change anything.

The suspicion is not something I would want in my home, thank you very much.

so speaks someone who does not understand safeguarding
like people who object to having a DBS because how could anyone suspect them, its so unfair
safeguarding is everyone's responsibility- just as all professionals are happy to have a DBS check, all HEers should be happy to have welfare checks on their children, as these children not in school are extra vulnerable.

@RamblingEclectic The dentist is actually how my sister's friends ended up registering. They were reported too. I come from a safeguarding background and it does make me happy that there are people brave enough to do it though. I don't think many neglectful parents take their kids to the dentist but what for you will be an uncomfortable couple of weeks, could hopefully improve the life of another child that does need help.
The system in America, at least in the states we've visited seems amazing. My friend is able to recoup the dollars she has put towards education in taxes, and use it to pay for online tutors and for purchasing curriculum books.
It is a sad situation in HE groups here. My sister has distanced herself from them too after 9 years of homeschooling.

This thing about home educated kids needing school to become accustomed to the 'real world' rules and expectations.

That's ridiculous.

Where do you think our home educated children are? They are in the real world. My kids do a group every day. Along with learning at home with me and learning online.

They deal with people of all ages and backgrounds much more than they would in a class of 30 kids of the same and from similar backgrounds. They have friends or have groups with people who might have different needs, there is a real mix of neurodiverse minds. It's great. They don't need 'teaching' how to be in the real world. They ARE in the real world.

This is the real world. What is school
teaching children about the 'real world' that home Ed parents are not?

How do parents who HE replicate the social experience of mainstream school?
My son met most of his friends through school, I expect that’s not the same for everyone but there’s something to be said for the social element school provides.

Sorry that should read ‘school’ not ‘Mainstream school’. Apologies

being in school teaches you that-
not everyone thinks the same way as you/your family, but you still have to get along with them
sometimes you have to do stuff you don't want to, when you don't want to and there's nothing you can do about it (or its not worth making a fuss about)
sometimes rules are for the convenience of everybody even if they are annoying to the individual
how to adapt your language/behaviour/clothing to the situation you are in
some learning may be boring or seem irrelevant- you are still learning something useful by the process of learning itself
there are other adults who are interested in you and care about you

@Shrewsbury247 by attending groups. We live in a city and there are many many diverse groups daily that are organised by parents.

My kids over the years have attended games groups, sports groups, music groups, social meet ups, educational groups, volunteer groups.

My kids do at least one in person group a day for at least 2 hours. Often after or before groups kids and parents will meet up and hang about in cafes/parks/countryside etc.

Sometimes for kids in school (one of mine has been in school for years as well as home educated) it's not natural socialising other than at play times.

What specific part of socialising are home Ed kids missing?

They are with children of different ages and abilities and backgrounds at home Ed groups. That's healthy. And normal.

She is choosing to do educational activities each day on top of the 2-3 hours we timetable so there is a lot more learning things like reading , watching documentaries and films, art, we go to museums a lot too, cooking /baking all sorts of things when I say she chooses what she does what we’ve said to her is ‘2-3 hours per day we will set work for the morning and then the rest of the day you decide what you’d like to do (something productive so she knows it’s not just go on her phone etc !) She’s really good at choosing a wide range of things over time too she will often say to us ‘I did loads of art last week so can we plan a trip and I’ll do a project’ or similar

We had the last laugh, my sons grades were absolutely fantastic, and he has grown and developed in so many ways. We have felt the eyes of the community on us since HE, so it's nice to see the look on people's faces when they ask how he is doing. My son is not stupid and can see straight through their fake interest, just waiting for him to fail, he proved them all wrong.
We had a good experience with the LA, it was all positive. The best thing l ever done for my son without a doubt, my eldest went through the school system ok, but it wasn't a good fit for my youngest. You often find families have a mix of HE and school educated, it's what works best for each individual child. I think HE will go from strength to strength.

@StillWeRise - home Ed kids get all that in the world also.

Home Ed groups are VERY diverse. In every way.

My kids will be the first to say that they don't get to do what they want when they want all the time.

They attend groups where there might be a uniform or expectations for clothing - sports groups, brownies, scouts, etc.

They also know that they have to adapt how they are in different situations. Of course they do. How would they not?

Your post makes it sound very much that the kids in school are being taught to tow the line. Which is not healthy. Yes, sometimes you need to do something you don't want. But actually, if you are very much uncomfortable in some situations then no, you should absolutely not have to tow the line. Individuals make up the group, and sometimes the group needs to also adapt to the individual surely.