6+ year age gap between siblings

[drkpl]

Can anyone tell me about their experiences with a 6 year age gap or more between children?

There are 9 years between me and my sibling, so I sort of know what it’s like. Although I dearly love my sibling, I felt a little lonely growing up and always wanted another sibling closer to my age. I found it especially hard when my sibling left for uni when I was 9, the loneliness was unbearable. As a consequence, I really didn’t want that for my own child. Dc is nearly 4 and realistically we won’t be able to have another until he’s 6 due to finances/job changes. I wanted a 3-4 year gap, so it was never like I wanted 2 close together. However I feel incredibly guilty, as if I’m putting my child through the same thing I went through.

I have 6.5 years between my oldest 2...both adults now and still really close. 1 boy, 1 girl. Wasn't planned that way but worked out well for me

My first two DDs were 6 and 8 when the third was born. They loved her to bits and treated her like their own baby - nappy changing and all! The 3 of them are a close unit still and love each other dearly.

The only difficulty we hit was when a 16 year old wanted to have a teenage party and did not want an 8 year old there - entirely understandable! The little one's argument was that her two older sisters come to her parties - also understandable - so why should she be excluded form theirs! We did achieve a compromise that involved her being there for an hour and getting to eat the food.

I had a sister who was 9 years younger than me and 11 than my older brother. I do not recall any special problems, except that we had very little space at home and I had to share my bedroom with her until I left home at 17 - sometimes it was a bit of a pain. And looking back I realise that it was hard for her when we left home to go to uni - she had been used to having us around. It was compounded by the fact that my parents' relationship was poor and she was left to cope with that alone poor lass.

Thank you both for your replies.

@Mischance it sounds like your little sister felt similar to me when my big sis moved away. I suppose dp and I will just have to pick up the slack when the eldest moves out. Make sure there are plenty of play dates, etc. I suppose there are only children who love having the attention of their parents to themselves, so we can make it work.

You can make it work! I also have a much younger child who is more like an only child, but still adored by the older 2 - 20 years between oldest and youngest. All families are different and there are some advantages to having more than a 2-3 year gap, the older child will be much more capable of doing things like dressing etc on their own for example

I have 5 siblings and have by far the best relationship with the one who is 8 years older. The two closest to me in age I barely speak to.

Almost 7 years between my dd (18) and ds (11). They get in fab.

When ds got to about 2 it was difficult trying to find something that would both entertain them. Or even pick a film both would watch.

But now they are really close. Dd is at Uni, but it’s not too far so she comes back every so often. She takes ds out for lunch and buys him a treat. They text nearly every day. He tells her more about school than he does me. Then she lets me know anything she thinks I should know.

I always think you just can’t tell by an age gap. The kids personalities and parenting are what makes the difference.

Don’t overthink it,
you really can’t predict how the relationship will play out. There is 7.5 yrs between me and my sister, growing up we didn’t have
loads to do with each other being at different stages, but once she hit 15 our relationship changed, she’s one of my best friends now and we’ve gone through life together really, done a lot of major life events st the same time.

Just allow the older one to have their own space when they need it and the little one some attention. When the older moves away etc. you can make it work x

11 years between my first and second, 6 years. between my second and third.

It’s lovely to be honest. Eldest is just 20 and adores his younger siblings.

Younger two are 8 and 2 and so close.

*and the little one some attention when the older moves away etc. You can make it work x

Mine are 10, 9 & 3, all DD and extremely close at the moment. I've similar worries in that the older two will leave for (hopefully) uni and I'll have a 12 year old at home missing her sisters immensely. DH tells me this isn't a valid enough reason to have a 4th child and she'll survive.
Also said 3 year old thinks she can do whatever her big sisters can so I'm sure teenage years will be fun.

Sorry I've just realised my reply isn't really helpful. I suppose there's no perfect age gap, as a PP said it's more to do with personalities. I'm closest with my eldest sibling and we've a 15yr age gap.

I’ve got just under 6 years between my 2, there would have been more but DS2 decided to arrive 2 months early.
It was fine when they were tiny, slightly rocky when DS1 was 11/12 but they are now the best of friends. DS1 is nearly 18 and DS2 is nearly 12. Only issue is DS2 thinks he can do everything DS1 does. The younger one is a very talented footballer and my older son is very proud of him, he ran the line for his match today in torrential rain!

I have seven years between our kids due to secondary infertility. I wouldn't have had less than a four year gap though out of choice. It's fine to be honest. It's certainly been easier financially in terms of only paying for one expensive teenager at a time. They have been rolling around the floor wrestling this afternoon so do play together.

I have siblings 4, 7, 12 and 20yrs younger than me and I'm estranged from the 4 yrs younger one and closest to the one 20 yrs younger so it doesn't really make a difference once you're adults, it's down to personality.

I have a 4 year gap. However there is a 6 year gap between my oldest and one of his cousins. I know it’s not the same as siblings but they have always been very close. Now they are 10 & 16. My 10 year old adores having a 16 year old to hang out with. They recently went to a theme park together for halloween and had the best time. The 16 year cousin I think likes having a chance to be silly and a kid again (and of course wrestle) with the 10 yr old.