Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

House guest - how late do you sleep?

35 replies

savingoldbags · 05/11/2022 12:19

If you're a guest in someone else's house, how late do you sleep? For me, I tend to wake up early anyway so I just go with the rhythm of the house. If I hear others getting up (assuming it's not mega early), I'll do the same.

Reason being, we've got a couple of guests staying this weekend. They're very close friends but haven't ever stayed over before. It's 12:15 and they're still in bed. We've been up since about 10am but obviously everyone is different.

So just wondering how late you'd sleep if you were a guest elsewhere? And as a host, is there a right time to check they're actually ok?

OP posts:
PandaOrLion · 05/11/2022 12:23

Honestly, we’d chat about it the night before - ie shall we aim for breakfast at X so we can do Y at such and such a time.

when staying with PIL where there aren’t plans for the next day we’ll usually sleep in till 9, but with friends i doubt it would be later.

I have a friend who sets an alarm for 12 when staying with friends and family but that would feel too late for me.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 05/11/2022 12:24

I think it's a bit rude to stay in bed that late when visiting. Maybe they haven't heard you and think you aren't up? Maybe text and ask if they want a cuppa bringing up.

GoAgainstNicki · 05/11/2022 12:24

I’ll wake up whenever I wake up tbh. I didn’t even think any thought goes into it however I only ever stay at family members houses and close friends. So my friends will usually wake me if I’ve slept in for a while.

Can’t you knock just to see everything’s okay? My friends would just open the door and say ‘GoAgainstNicki get up!’ and that’s that. Everyone’s friendship is different though!

BobbyBobbyBobby · 05/11/2022 12:24

How rude of them!

I would expect them to show at breakfast time of between 8 and no later than 9 so that plans can be made for the day.

Unless they jetted in very late last night.

TrivialSoul · 05/11/2022 12:25

It would depend on the plans for the day. If we had chatted about doing things at a set time then I would be up and organised in plenty of time. I tend to get up either when I hear people milling around or when I need a cuppa. If there were no plans and they were close enough friends to stay with then DH would sleep until he wakens which could easily be lunchtime.

Original poster
savingoldbags · 05/11/2022 12:26

PandaOrLion · 05/11/2022 12:23

Honestly, we’d chat about it the night before - ie shall we aim for breakfast at X so we can do Y at such and such a time.

when staying with PIL where there aren’t plans for the next day we’ll usually sleep in till 9, but with friends i doubt it would be later.

I have a friend who sets an alarm for 12 when staying with friends and family but that would feel too late for me.

Ah, wish I'd thought of that. I just assumed everything would happen naturally once the house began to wake up. 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
savingoldbags · 05/11/2022 12:30

We all went to bed around midnight so it wasn't a massively late night. I sent a text at 11.30 just to say I was making breakfast/coffee and would they like some. No reply so I'm guessing they're both still asleep.

OP posts:
PorridgewithQuark · 05/11/2022 12:32

It's one of the main the reasons being a houseguest (or having them) can be awkward IME! Guests and hosts are both likely to be on "holiday" or at least their day off and if nothing specific is planned then might want a lie-in, if that's something they'd do at home, but the host might be someone who sees a lie in as until 8:30, while the guest sees it as until midday - or vice versa! Equally one party might feel the day is wasted if they're not able to leave the house by 9 or 9:30!

Setting your alarm for 7 in order to lie awake listening to the house to try to guage whether people are getting up (or just going to the bathroom and back to bed!) is really awkward!

I think it needs discussing very casually the night before tbh, otherwise the whole etiquette of when to get up is awkward and any lie in or mismatched ideas of getting out can be unsatisfying.

I don't think it's ever ok to go in and ask whether your guests are ok because they're still in bed though! Unless you genuinely fear for their health because you know they're very unwell obviously!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/11/2022 12:33

I always tell guests to get up whenever they like. In the case of a student niece, that was usually around midday - she would help herself to breakfast. Fine with me.
If guests are up early - or earlier than us - they know they can help themselves to anything. We would never invite the sort of people who expect to have breakfast put in front of them at 8, though.

WandaWomblesaurus · 05/11/2022 12:41

Maybe they are just knackered.

Tonight before bed just say to them "what time roughly will you be awake and here's where the brunch things are if you are ok to help yourself?"

Doingmybest12 · 05/11/2022 12:48

Maybe you read the guest room thread and you've provided for their every need and never need to surface again!

Doingmybest12 · 05/11/2022 12:50

To answer the question I am an early bird and would get up when I heard others stirring or earlier if I felt OK to make a cup of tea. I would never lie in past 9.

Original poster
savingoldbags · 05/11/2022 12:51

Doingmybest12 · 05/11/2022 12:48

Maybe you read the guest room thread and you've provided for their every need and never need to surface again!

To be fair, it is a very comfy bed! 😂
Still no sounds of movement!

OP posts:
Doingmybest12 · 05/11/2022 12:51

But happy for others to lie in obviously but would wonder of they were still breathing if it got this late and they aren't teens or working shifts

FiveMins · 05/11/2022 12:52

Are they young or old, if over 25 and under 75 that is pretty fecking rude.

FourChimneys · 05/11/2022 12:53

It depends on the visit. We sometimes have a friend staying over for work purposes and she's usually up by 7 am, offering us tea while she's got the kettle on.

For weekend guests it needs to be mentioned the night before.

Original poster
savingoldbags · 05/11/2022 12:53

FiveMins · 05/11/2022 12:52

Are they young or old, if over 25 and under 75 that is pretty fecking rude.

Late 40s and no serious health issues that I'm aware of.

OP posts:
Original poster
savingoldbags · 05/11/2022 12:56

Ah, just got a text to apologise...they overslept and are getting up soon. At least they're not dead. Yeah, my brain was heading in that direction. 😂

OP posts:
Derbee · 05/11/2022 12:56

We’d discuss it the night before, if we had plans. I always ask friends/guests what sort of time they get up. One gets up at 6 or 7am, so she always just helps herself to breakfast, and I come down at 9:30/10.

If there were no plans discussed, I’d be down about 10am, or just before. Past midday does seem strange to me - surely you’re visiting to spend time with people, not to sleep?

Bbq1 · 05/11/2022 13:13

savingoldbags · 05/11/2022 12:19

If you're a guest in someone else's house, how late do you sleep? For me, I tend to wake up early anyway so I just go with the rhythm of the house. If I hear others getting up (assuming it's not mega early), I'll do the same.

Reason being, we've got a couple of guests staying this weekend. They're very close friends but haven't ever stayed over before. It's 12:15 and they're still in bed. We've been up since about 10am but obviously everyone is different.

So just wondering how late you'd sleep if you were a guest elsewhere? And as a host, is there a right time to check they're actually ok?

That's very rude. If we are staying with a friend plans for the next day would be discussed the night before so we would all be up and about anyway. However, if no plans were made I would probably wake around 9 (probably earlier). If df was up, we would also get up. Staying in bed until 12.15 is just lazy and incredibly bad manners. Etiquette and general good manners would dictate you are up and ready within about half an hour (max) of your host.

Phrenologistsfinger · 05/11/2022 13:18

Morning people superiority again… I get up at 8:30- 9:30 for work and wouldn’t get up any earlier if a guest unless specific plans had been made. People getting huffy about such things like getting up before a set time just just because are weird to me but then we wouldn’t ever be friends so I guess that’s fine!

Phrenologistsfinger · 05/11/2022 13:20

Also, if guests want to sleep in until midday and we had no plans, that is totally fine and I would be glad they are comfortable, relaxed and sleeping well. We rarely leave the house before lunch anyway!

Maverick101 · 05/11/2022 13:22

BobbyBobbyBobby · 05/11/2022 12:24

How rude of them!

I would expect them to show at breakfast time of between 8 and no later than 9 so that plans can be made for the day.

Unless they jetted in very late last night.

Oh dear lord, if you were my house guest then you'd be getting yourself breakfast. No way would I be making it for you at 8am

But I would have had a conversation about morning expectations the night before

Original poster
savingoldbags · 05/11/2022 13:24

They got up at 1.15, so we're all good.

OP posts:
GoAgainstNicki · 05/11/2022 13:24

Phrenologistsfinger · 05/11/2022 13:18

Morning people superiority again… I get up at 8:30- 9:30 for work and wouldn’t get up any earlier if a guest unless specific plans had been made. People getting huffy about such things like getting up before a set time just just because are weird to me but then we wouldn’t ever be friends so I guess that’s fine!

I was thinking the same thing. What’s the point at staying over at someone’s house unless you can lie in and relax a bit (unless there’s plans). I don’t see how it’s bad manners or rude to sleep in when there’s no set plansConfused