I’ve been told by two consultants that I need to relax - but how?!

[Nuttyhatch]

I think part of my nature is that I research things, so of course with anything medical I will research papers, stats and so on. I like to be as educated as possible so that I can advocate for myself better.

This might be why I am coming across to the consultants as someone who needs to relax? But I actually find the researching part of it reassuring, it makes me feel more in control.

So, with that aside, how do I… relax? I don’t fancy yoga in a cold dark hall. 😁

tbh being told to relax on a fertility journey would infuriate me. I tried relaxing plenty of times before I had IVF and it never helped. Plus depending on the doctor/consultant it can really help to be able to advocate for yourself and understand the terminology (they don't always know best, I had a consultant not know that the luteal phase could vary). ARGH for you!

I love reading but I do have to set aside specific time for it or I tend to forget. I give myself a challenge on Goodreads to aim for - start easy, say 10 books a year, and try to read a little every day (or every week).

Easy sim video games help me relax too but appreciate that won't work for everyone.

Well then on an infertility journey you have every reason to want to be as informed as you can.

But I can see the reasoning that a stressed patient is not an easy one in this situation. Though stressed and informed are two very separate things.

My advice remains the same, set aside a set time a day to read what you wish to find out, I'd suggest no more than 1 hour, not close to bedtime. If you are doing this with a partner (I assume) share the mental load of your discoveries with them. Don't veer into anything that sounds too woo or American- it's just not going to happen here. Don't do anything in the middle of the night (says I on MN at 3.34am)

Enjoy your audible- and very very good luck and best wishes on your journey

Get a hobby, I suffer from anxiety & depression & have been crocheting for about 3 years. Crochet keeps my hands busy & if I count stitches I can't think of anything else.

Walking, doing things you like are good, but i also recommend vitamin B, for tension and stress.

As for research, that is very useful when dealing with doctors.

Take up knitting or crochet. That might sound a bit out there but it's recognised by many people, including doctors as being really good at combating anxiety and depression. Other hobbies might help too.

Perhaps you've answered your own question there! 😉 Maybe the place to start is to think about what you're filling your time with (and why) other than things that help you slow down / relax.

Pick one of the things you know you already enjoy and make a conscious choice to do it... But only if you want to. Not because you have to. Don't turn it into another job or chore to be completed. The concept of 'flow' (in occupational therapy) is helpful.

Thank you all. I’m going to take some time this evening to look at the suggestions and plan out my week, to see how to incorporate some relax time.