Here's my shit made up joke...

[LoveShitJokes]

I've started seeing a train driver. I've no idea if it's going anywhere but we're on the right track!

What's yours?!

I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to be seen at A+E. Hopefully, it's the guy with the musket shot wound next, then me.

I worked at the bank for a while…until I starting losing interest

Love this one 😂

Why can't Napoleon go out in the wind?

Because he would be blown apart.

I was on a boat and they kept asking me if I preferred a feline pet or an egg based dessert. It was a cat or meringue.

I have an inferiority complex, bit it's not a very good one.

What's a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A Shoe 🤧👟

I made up a new word today. It's plagiarism.

Today was my first day as a pilot
I looked down nervously.

“What are all these buttons for?" I asked.
My co-pilot sighed..
“Those are to keep your shirt closed".

I've been going out with Jordan Pickford and he's really nice. Definitely a keeper.

😬

Why is no one ever the right amount of 'whelmed' ?

My friend's been ill in bed for the past couple of weeks, so I went round today and took some DVDs and a bottle of wine.
Fingers crossed she won't notice they're gone.

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?

Fab thread. I'm off to buy a baby yoda toothpaste dispenser.

What did the 0 say to the 8…

Nice belt.

Bobby x3, can you tell me where you got your toothpaste dispenser? It’s just to cute and awesome!

www.google.com/search?q=baby+yoda+toothpaste+topper

A few options there eBay, Etsy, Amazon etc

Just started a tailoring service

how’s business?

sew sew