Do you have any really good friends . . .

[Bubbublish]

. . . friends who will always be there for you.

I have friends but I'm doubting if they are really good friends.

I went through a very tough time just over a year ago and my friends were thoughtful and caring at the time but things don't seem the same anymore.

We are all still friends, no-one has fallen out . . . maybe it's in my head. I just don't feel like we are very close.

Do you have really good friends, maybe one very special friend?

Yes I do but I also realise that everyone has their own life. I couldn't be available for my friends constantly.
I count more on my family.

I think that applies to 3 friends - other than that possibly not

Yes, a small number of really wonderful friends who have been (and are) there for me as I hope I'm there for them.

I went through a transition from one lifelong friend where it changed and now fortunately am developing new friend of this status with someone I've known for 10 years but until more recently wouldn't have put them in this category.
It's been painful losing the older friend. No argument or problem, just the X factor, connection, support has gone. We also helped each other with huge life challenges a year or so before the drift/split

Hearing other’s experiences might not make you feel better about this situation OP.

You say they were there for you through a really tough time. Have things maybe just got back to a more friendly/fun/checking in level than the deeper level of support previously? Maybe that’s why things feel different.

My BF of 20 years and I have been there for each other in a really deep way through losing parents, parent illness, stillbirth, tough times with relationships and children and it means so much at the time. Things always revert back to much lighter, happier, fun friendship in between all the shit though. I’d imagine that’s very natural.
How are you feeling generally nowadays? Any depression/anxiety which may be causing you to see genuine friendships as lacking or different to reality?

One of my close friends had cancer last year and I made lots of time for her as in more that usual to support her and help with her kids while her husband took her to appointments etc. Now she is in remission she is upset that I am not spending so much time with her, but I need to get back to normal levels of seeing her and get on with my own life and see other friends etc. I’m not abandoning her but she is acting like I am as she got used to me being there a lot. Could something like this be happening in your case OP?

Yes, I have 5 v.good friends- They all know each other but arn't actually 'friends'.
They have and would support me with anything really and like wise I them.
I speak to them all pretty much daily and probably moan far too much about general stuff But also we do just chat about stuff in general- Today ,they all recieved an update video of my new rabbit settling with the other one( I know trust me!) some recieved a boring update on me making the mistake of organising the toy box , Ive recieved messages about local houses in area ( just browsing and general commeting) , school dates and weather chat.
I consider myself lucky to have such good friends!

Yes I have close friends.
Have you actually asked your friends? Acknowledged some change. Are they tired? Worn out? Got their own problems?
Pick up the phone

I thought I had a good friend, but she never seems to have time for me anymore.

My first thought reading the OP was whether it’s something like this, could be a break up as much as an illness.

It was too do with illness. One of the friends has got lots of problems at home. I keep offering for us to go out, just the 2 of us but she doesn't want to which I totally understand, given her situation. Maybe I'm being a bit sensitive tonight. I know my friends would be there to help if I needed it and I'm there for them as well.

Thanks for the replies

Yea, three friends. I have known them all for 20+ years and they are my rocks. At some points in life we have seen each other more often, and sometimes less - babies, house moves, bereavements, relationships and relationship breakdowns have changed the amount of time we have available. But we chat every day and are always here for each other when the shit hits the fan.

Yes. It doesn't happen by accident. It's not luck. You make it happen. It occurs through effort and investment.

I mean this kindly but it sounds a bit like you’re finding it hard now you’re not the one being supported through problems. Do you think that could be a factor?

I thought so but no she isn't a friend and after my marriage to my abusive ex husband ended I find it more than hard to find friends most of mine dumped me during the marriage they didn't return after and the new ones I've made ditch me too I think I'm going to stay alone with my books

It sounds like you’ve got good friends you can rely on and one isn’t in the right place to meet up one to one, which you seem to understand. What are you feeling sensitive about?

Did have until I had a baby then they couldnt be arsed. Didnt even text to see how I was. Now I just give up. Too tired to be bothered with the drama.