DD alone on bus. What age?

[SimplyTheBus]

DD (10) currently goes to a sports club 430-6pm. We take the bus straight from school, she's a few minutes late; home at 7.
She has just been asked to join the older group which runs 6-730pm. We can make this, but it will be very tedious for me and DS.
DD finishes school at 4. Get bus at 510, arrive at club at 535 (or 542 if we miss the connection).DS and I get 555, be home at 630pm.

i.e. we'll be out 5pm-630pm just to drop her at her club.

I'm wondering what age you'd allow your DD to travel across a city alone. Trip is 10 minutes regional bus into city main station, walk across the front of the train station to one of the stops of the city bus, (potentially an 8 minute wait) 16 minutes on the city bus, 2 minute walk to the clubhouse.
She would be quite early, but she has the code to the clubhouse and there will be people around (I.e. the group she's in now).
She would have a phone.
4 stops further than where she needs to get off, the red light district starts...

In London it's quite normal for year 7s to be changing transport modes morning and evening, in the dark in winter. They do meet up with friends as they get closer to school and leave school in groups but it's common for them to end up alone as they get closer to home.

Could you not ask that she stays in the younger group until the clocks go forward in the spring, then change after Easter when she'll be closer to 11 and will be getting used to the journey as the evenings get lighter.

I wouldn't let my 15yo do that in the dark on her own. Not everyone lives in London, the streets are dark and unlit, transport irregular and not nany people are around here. My 11 yo is capable to getting herself to school alone so I'm not living in a bubble but I do risk assess and hanging around in the dark waiting for buses isn't a risk I'd take.

@SimplyTheBus
What school year is she?
When is she 11?
Is she sensible or liable to panic?
Is the route busy? Nice or rough area?
Does she know to stay on the bottom of the bus and near the front if possible?
Does she know what to do if the bus is delayed or she misses the stop?

It being dark is fine if it’s busy, well lit, generally safe areas and your child isn’t scared of the dark.

It’s good to teach these life skills early on. Waiting till 14/15 seems over the top to me as it’s year 10! We were drinking on parks in the evening back in the day at that age. And while I wouldn’t condone that now I think starting with small steps towards independence in year 5 so that by the time they’re in secondary they are capable and confident with travel.

Not a chance in hell. Why on earth can't your dh get the bus/train/tube that day & you take your dd ?

I'd say 11 would be fine for this.

I think it s OK since you said you can pick her up. So she's only got to get herself there? Perhaps if she starts when it's getting light in the spring ?

In London it's quite normal for year 7s to be changing transport modes morning and evening, in the dark in winter. They do meet up with friends as they get closer to school and leave school in groups but it's common for them to end up alone as they get closer to home.

Absolutely - and if trekking right across the city to go to a private school, kids don’t necessarily have anyone who lives remotely near them to travel with.

OP is there any way she could she train with the younger ones until next Spring and then start doing the later session/bus by herself when it’s light?

I was all ready to say go for it. My Dd got the bus alone to school from age 8 (Yr 4), but it was one bus I saw her on to it then a 5 minute walk to school. Changing buses in a city centre at rush hour in the dark ? Like others I'd wait till the light evenings return.

My 11 year old catches a tram and a bus home from school. But I would be worried about your journey especially in the dark because it will be outside the times that other children are travelling and she may be waiting for buses alone. My child is certainly quite naive and there are lots of situations that could cause a problem. However, you know your daughter and the bus route best so will be able to make an informed decision.

Depends on the child and how sensible but I generally wouldn't before 12. Also is it not only one day a week?

Surely by 11 this is normal? My son will do this from first term of year 7

I went to secondary in london and lots of kids came on tubes buses etc

I like the idea of taking her to bus station and seeing her onto 2nd bus. I still think I'd wait until the summer though to start. So 11 I suppose.

I think she's far too young to do it alone. If she was with a friend, or if was earlier in the day, no problem, but a 10yo girl on her own in the dark is incredibly vulnerable.

You also say she could ring you if there was an issue - but what could you do to help her if you're several bus journeys away anyway? What if she loses her phone or, heaven forbid, she gets mugged for it?

In the light, 11 is fine. No way in the dark until 18 and I don't get a say any more.

Outside of London in most towns and cities buses are infrequent and many companies are struggling for staff, so some buses get cancelled. Theoretically OK but perhaps not in practice in my opinion.

LOL, but seriously, have you considered what a terrible, counterproductive approach to risk this is to take?

So all your kids have to be home by 4pm in winter then?😂

I make no apologies for keeping my teens safe. They are picked up in the dark, always.

One bus yes, but changing no. Unfortunately I think you need to explain that it isn't possible unless she can car share. I learned to drive because of situations like this

I'm quite pro-freedom/adventure/independence but that's a no from me for a 10 year old girl in the dark. Whether it's 5pm or 10pm! Changing buses - our bud stations are weirdo magnets and I don't particularly like them in the dark, let alone a child.

It's not necessary for a hobby. It puts her in a vulnerable situation for not a good enough reason

Does DH have to have the car for work every day?

Could he work from home that day or take a bus/train himself?

Are you not still at work at 4pm though? I just don't see how that's even practical.

@thelobsterquadrille if I don't have meetings I'm home by 4pm. I bring work home (teacher) but I'm available to run teen DC around.