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Original poster

Cubs - complain or not?

23 replies

Bananasareok · 02/11/2022 14:39

DS has been on the waiting list for cubs for about 18 months. He has mild additional needs which I put on the form but are unlikely to have any impact on the group.

I’ve enquired a couple of times and been told he’s on the list but no space has come up.

A friend recently added her DS to the list and has recently become friends with the leader. Her DS has been offered a place after a month. I’ve decided I no longer want DS to go as I don’t really want him in an environment that is either discriminatory or kind of cheats the waiting list for friends.

I’m inclined to let it go as they are all volunteers who work really hard for the benefit of other peoples kids. I also have a niggle that if I don’t complain, it’s like I’m saying that DS isn’t worth standing up for.

Could I please ask, what would you do?

OP posts:

Pootles34 · 02/11/2022 14:41

Is your friend volunteering? I ask because at our unit, children of volunteers get straight to the front of the queue, so I wonder if it might be that?

YellowTreeHouse · 02/11/2022 14:42

I wouldn’t complain but I would ask for an explanation why.

GU24Mum · 02/11/2022 14:43

I'm not sure I'd "complain" as such but I'd just ask how the waiting list is going and say that your DC is still really and has been on the list for a while and he knows that one of his friends has just been allocated a place and hadn't been on the list long so will a place come up soon for your DC....

For context, I run our waiting lists and am scrupulously fair. The only people we take over others are ones where parents will be proper regular helpers or out of area transfers of children already in Cubs.

Jagley · 02/11/2022 14:43

You aren't unreasonable to be upset by that, but speak to the leader first. Could it be that one of the parents is volunteering with the group? If it is because your DS has additional needs then complain.

MiniCooperLover · 02/11/2022 14:44

I would hope it's not because of additional needs, we have kids with a range of different needs in our Cubs and Scouts. I wonder if it depends on the leader (not that they should be able to pick and choose).

I think I would have to ask for sure.

tickticksnooze · 02/11/2022 14:45

Just talk to them.

ODFOx · 02/11/2022 14:51

Definitely check with the pack. I know that for GG the recommendations changed a couple of years ago do that (in the absence of leaders children, siblings, looked after children etc) the list was ordered by age so that as many girls were given the opportunity as possible, even if for a shorter time, rather than giving some girls the chance for a full 3 years and then some never getting a place.
It might just be that if cubs are running the same rules now that DS friend is a bit older.

CruCru · 02/11/2022 14:56

Honestly? The only cubs pack I know of is really explicit that if you want your child to get a spot, you have to volunteer.

Tessasanderson · 02/11/2022 15:30

I hate this kind of thing. Some kind of unwritten pecking order of entitled kids.

As others have said, there may be a reason like the parent volunteering but if there isnt i would be asking for an explanation.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 02/11/2022 15:32

Could you volunteer?

lechatnoir · 02/11/2022 15:33

Speak to them. They could just be a bit disorganised and he's dropped off the list or as another poster said, maybe the mum has offered to help which will definitely bump you to the top. My dc have all done cubs/scouts and I've always been impressed how inclusive and welcoming they are so would be very surprised if it was because of his additional needs (although appreciate this will vary group by group)

CakeCrumbs44 · 02/11/2022 15:36

Don't complain, just enquire. It's possible that your friends child was previously in beavers which gives them priority for cubs, or your friend is a volunteer or if he is much older then some groups give them priority as well. I'm sure they're not deliberately discriminating.

budgiegirl · 02/11/2022 15:36

I wouldn’t complain but I would ask for an explanation why

This.

It's fair to ask for an explanation. Has your friend offered to volunteer? Is her DS much older than yours? How old is your DS? I'm a cub leader, and while I don't run the waiting list (another leader does this), I do know that it's not just how long a child has been on the list that matters. Sometimes age and help from parents can also play a part.

IhearyouClemFandango · 02/11/2022 15:38

I would have to ask. Age may be a factor, if friend is older and if an age where they may move up soon anyway they may have decided to include him

Riverlee · 02/11/2022 15:40

Is the other child older, so leapfrogged the queue?

or the mum has offered to help out?

BobbyBobbyBobby · 02/11/2022 15:55

Are you completely certain the woman only added her son recently to the list? Could he have been on a long waiting list in another area and they’ve transferred him over when they moved which might be why it looks like he’s only had to wait a month..

Original poster

Bananasareok · 02/11/2022 16:11

Thank you.

The daft thing is, that her DS really doesn’t want to go! It all seems to have come from the new friendship. The mum hasn’t said anything about volunteering and she works really long hours so it’s unlikely. My DS is no longer as keen as he once was so I think I’ll just let it go.

OP posts:

poopaloobop · 02/11/2022 16:23

If I was you OP I'd have to ask. If there is a good explanation for this I'd need to know what it was, or I'd remain furious!

Winterfires · 02/11/2022 16:26

If it’s the case that’s really unfair, check and if you are right complain. Did you say anything to her when she told you? I would’ve 🤭

lovelypidgeon · 02/11/2022 16:56

I volunteer with cubs and as a pp mentioned, we run our waiting list according to the age of the child as well as how long they've been on the waiting list (so a child a year older will usually get the place ahead of a younger child who's been waiting longer). Could this be part of the issue? We do, put sometimes volunteers' DC to the front of the list as we are often in desperate need of extra helpers so it benefits everyone.

We have occasionally decided that a child on the waiting list with additional needs should join when they are a little older than usual- but only if we think it would help them to be a bit older and after a discussion with the parent about whether they think the child is ready or would be better to wait.

I wouldn't complain as such (as you say, the leaders are all volunteers and work hard) but would ask when they think there is likely to be a place. I might be tempted to mention that your friend's child has just joined and the DC were hoping to be together (ie let them know you're aware other children have been given places ahead of you, without exactly complaining).

YellowTreeHouse · 02/11/2022 16:59

we run our waiting list according to the age of the child as well as how long they've been on the waiting list (so a child a year older will usually get the place ahead of a younger child who's been waiting longer)

@lovelypidgeon Why?

sheepdogdelight · 02/11/2022 17:10

YellowTreeHouse · 02/11/2022 16:59

@lovelypidgeon Why?

(Based on my experience of running brownies' waiting lists)
Because otherwise you might get children that never get in at all.

If I had a waiting list that was: just turned 7 year old, a few not quite 7 year olds, and then a 9 year old, who's already been waiting nearly 2 years and I had one space and knew I would have more the following term, I give the space to the 9 year old.

The downside is the 7 year old waiting one term extra for a space (but starting with their friends who are the not-quite 7 year olds). The upside is the 9 year old getting a year in Brownies as opposed to not getting a space at all (because the not yet 7 year olds will turn 7 and move her down the list).

lovelypidgeon · 03/11/2022 13:09

YellowTreeHouse · 02/11/2022 16:59

@lovelypidgeon Why?

Basically as Sheepdog says. It's to try to give as many children as possible a chance to join for at least a year. It's slightly complicated for us by the fact our scouts give priority for places to children moving up from cubs. There are always loads of children who have not been in cubs wanting to join scouts so if we made the older children wait at the back of the cubs list they'd often end up missing out on a chance for cubs and then having to join the back of the scouts waiting list too. We do exercise a bit of common sense/discretion- so we won't make a younger child wait for years just because loads of older children want to join and often tell parents to just join the scouts waiting list if their child would only be with us for a term (we have had a few who have tried to sign up just as they're about to be scouts age as they know that the scouts waiting list is longer than ours so they think they can beat the system- including one who signed up and paid for 2 terms in advance but didn't bother coming as they thought this would protect their DCs scouts place, but that's another thread!)

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