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Just want to share my good news!

97 replies

Proudmarykeepson · 01/11/2022 23:20

I'm a single mum living in London. My toddler has recently been referred for an ASD assessment and is verbal but has a speech disorder and significantly behind his peers.

I was homeless after leaving an abusive relationship where I was financially and emotionally abused. We slept on the floor when I lived with my ex with my son during the cold winter and he would ration my food even though I was breastfeeding. He would kick us out of the house during the day in the middle of winter and I would be forced to wander around all day to keep warm all while suffering from an undiagnosed birth injury which meant I was in excruciating pain while walking.

We lived in temp accommodation in a not so nice area (someone was recently murdered while walking home two streets down from where we stayed), where the heating was controlled by the landlord, the bathrooms were filthy and I was only entitled to £50 a week for my son (British citizen) as I had no recourse to public funds (me non-British citizen).

Suffice to say it has not been easy. I got a job 18 months ago. And we finally got our own flat. I love it so much. It was so hard starting work and having to pay almost all my salary in childcare and having a million side hustles to make the rent and living on my credit card for food and essentials.

But I have some good news. I got another job a few months ago that gave me a 60% increase on my salary and finally have me some breathing room to pay off my debts and manage the cost of living crisis increase in bills and food.

I recently got offered another job that will almost doubled my new salary and bring my income up to £90k a year!

What! That is insane! Honestly I had given up on a career once I had my son. My ex told I was stupid and noone would ever hire me. This money means I can afford private therapy for my son. It means I can afford physiotherapy for myself and I can afford my prescriptions. I don't have to worry about rent.

I am incredibly fortunate. I just wanted to share this with someone because I'm pinching myself as I have no close friends or family to share with. I can't believe inmy wildest dreams when I was sharing my receipts every week with my social worker and being asked why I was abusing funds for my son's needs by buying 30p sanitary towels for myself that this is where I would end up.

The system and my abusive ex tried to break me and they succeeded but somehow I made it on the other side. At one point in March 2021 I couldn't even get an interview for any jobs.

I don't want to brag, I'm just proud of myself and I can't believe how much luck I've had in turning everything around.

OP posts:
gonutkin · 02/11/2022 12:22

Thank you for sharing your story with us! Loved reading and so happy for you and your son! Congratulations 🥰🥰

Lmgify · 02/11/2022 12:25

Very well done to you!! You should be so proud of yourself and what an example you’re setting for your son!! You are amazing xx

pyjamafashionista · 02/11/2022 12:25

You've turned everything around! Huge well done, absolutely chuffed to bits for you x 👏 😀 🙌

Proudmarykeepson · 02/11/2022 14:46

HopeMumsnet · 02/11/2022 10:57

Hi all,
Just to say that while we can never vouch for anyone 100%, this poster has been with us a good old while and there's nothing worrying us about her posting. (There was a troll with a similar style of name posting a couple of weeks ago so that's probably what the trollhunters clocked).

Anyway, it looks like champagne is in order? 🍾Congratulations! 🍾

Thank you. It's been a wild ride😁😁😁

OP posts:
Proudmarykeepson · 02/11/2022 14:59

ICanHideButICantRun · 02/11/2022 12:21

Huge congratulations - it's such good news.

I was sharing my receipts every week with my social worker and being asked why I was abusing funds for my son's needs by buying 30p sanitary towels for myself

Why did you have to share receipts with your social worker? Were social workers complaining that you had to buy sanitary towels?

If you are destitute and homeless with no recourse to public funds, you can apply to your local council for help under the Children's Care Act. They are obliged to help your child and you. My social worker awarded my son £50 a week the maximum award in our borough for a child due to him being a British citizen. This money was meant to buy food, clothing, prescriptions, nappies etc. and meet all our needs.

They didn't award me any money for my upkeep because she said I had just moved to this borough under false pretences and she was convinced I should return to the town I had fled my abusive ex from to claim from that council instead.

She did not trust I would use this money for my son's needs and I had to call every week with a shopping list and she would decided whether to give me that money or not. She declined to deposit it in in my bank account and had me trek 5 miles to the council offices (we were moved to a different Borough for temp accommodation) every Friday to get money, so she could check my receipts to show I had used this money for my son's needs.

The things she objected to on my receipts that she considered "abusing" funds meant for my son's upkeep included:

  • buying myself sanitary towels
  • paying for my prescriptions or buying OTC adult painkillers for my use
  • buying a pair of leggings from PepCo for £2
-bus and train tickets to travel to the council offices to collect the money
  • buying anything that could be construed to be for my personal use and not my son.

When I eventually got a different social worker I broke down crying because she said that wasn't supposed to happen. And they needed to take care of me too in order for me to take care of my son. She upped our award by £20 for me to be able to buy basics for myself. But I only stayed for 3 months longer before finding a job. Funny thing is I had more disposable weekly income in temp accommodation than when I started working but at least we had a warm home and our own flat - so I was happy with the trade off.

OP posts:
LadyLolaRuben · 02/11/2022 20:15

What an inspiring and truly brilliant story. Well done and enjoy your great achievements x

Proudmarykeepson · 08/01/2023 16:15

Hi everyone, it's been a busy month and a bit and I just wanted to update that I have been in my new job for a few weeks and I am loving it. The probation is long (6 months) but my manager said unless you literally do nothing it is just a formality.

They have been accommodating of my disability needs and the increase in income has given me so much peace of mind. I am planning a trip to visit my family (who I have not seen in 8 years and who have never meant my child) and the flights before would have cost me so much and meant months of saving, and things popping up which would have meant dipping into those savigs, but now I can easily afford it.

I am so happy and thankful and need to pinch myself awake now. Thank you for alll your positivity and well wishes. I hope you had a wonderful festive season. If you can still afford to donate to a foodbank or refuge, please do. All the systems in place to get me back on my feet after abuse eventually got me to this point and I really hope everyone can get that second chance again, like I did. ❤

OP posts:
Hazey19 · 08/01/2023 16:16

That’s amazing! Well done you and all the love and luck for the future ❤️

BigGreen · 08/01/2023 16:39

So pleased for you! You should be so proud of yourself Flowers.

B1993 · 08/01/2023 16:46

Congratulations! 🎉

I'm sure it must have been a challenge to get to this point but is so inspiring that you've come through all of those hardships and are now in such a good place 😁

Verbena87 · 08/01/2023 16:49

fucking yes! You actual legend. Your son is lucky to have you x

Insaneinthemembraneee · 08/01/2023 17:09

Amazing Op and hope your happiness lasts forever.
What a lovely thread ❤️

euff · 08/01/2023 17:11

So sorry for what you've been through. Congratulations on your new job and so pleased for you Flowers

ProhibitedSteps · 08/01/2023 17:14

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ClitoralViolence · 08/01/2023 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I think your message is in very poor taste.

OP has been through more hardships than most. Can you not look at how far she has come at this difficult time and feel hopeful and inspired instead of pissing on her fire like the Christmas Grinch?

Sapphire387 · 08/01/2023 18:04

This is amazing news, you very much deserve it! Wishing you and your son every happiness.

NewKittenSlave · 08/01/2023 18:10

What an absolutely beautiful post. May your new job be interesting and rewarding with lovely colleagues, and may you and your son thrive.

Your ex was utterly wrong about you.

Fernticket · 08/01/2023 18:14

Rockstar!!
Wishing you and your DC every happiness and a great future.

NewYearNewCareer · 08/01/2023 19:39

I’m proud of you!

Stay focused and use your new found luck to secure a future for you and your child. I’m starting a new job tomorrow and hopefully it will mean a brighter future.

myfavouritemutant · 08/01/2023 20:21

I just love this op. So sorry for the shit you have been through but it’s so important you share your story - many of us need a bit of inspiration to keep on pushing.

SuffolkUnicorn · 08/01/2023 20:29

Fantastic op

NCSQ · 09/01/2023 20:57

What a wonderful update! Congratulations, OP - and a very happy new year!!

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