How much did your wedding really cost?

[Blondbombsite]

I’m curious because on here it often seems that if you spent more than £500, you’re looked down on for being stupid and vain but simultaneously your guests are all there under duress so can’t have any inconvenience or expense to attend. Obviously these two things are at odds, so I wondered what the true experience was for most people.

We’re getting married soon and although I don’t know the final costs yet I estimate it will be around 12k in total. That’s for 30 guests, a sit down meal (including canapés first, beef dinner, desert table and cheese table), welcome drinks/ wine with meal and an open bar all night. The biggest expense is food and drink apart and accommodation as we’re paying for all of the bridal party to stay at the venue the night of the wedding and breakfast together the day after.

£35k for 100 people 14 years ago.
Our honeymoon was about £7k.

About £350 25 years ago.

About 15k 6 years ago, that was for around 100 guests, didn't feel like a budget wedding by any means but I can't believe how much more expensive weddings seem to be now!

€38k 11 years ago...we had a small civil service with a lunch for 20 guests and a couple of days later a traditional/religious ceremony and party with sit down dinner, free bar, DJ etc for 200 guests.
We had a lot guests come from abroad so we paid for a few extras like transport to the venue, hotel for immediate family. Biggest expense was fitting out the venue as had to hire tables, chairs, linens, lighting, decorations and service staff. On the other hand catering was very reasonable as it was a friend of MiL's, we went for a DJ over a band and our wedding cake was gifted by DH's Aunty.

We had some savings, a small amount gifted and did take a loan for the rest which we paid back in a year.

It was amazing and I would do it all again tomorrow if I could!

50k in March and don't regret a penny.
It was a huge punjabi wedding.
We hired a Manor for our far away immediate family to stay in as opposed to hotel costs for them.
Religious ceremony in the morning.
Different venue for the evening.
250 guests, caterer, live music and then a DJ for the evening.
Open bar all evening.
Photographer over the 2 main days (henna ceremony the day before the wedding.)
Videographer.

It was perfect and I'd do it all over again.

Do what works for you OP, it's your day and people will always have opinions bur screw them.

Have a wonderful wedding ❤️

Thanks 😊. I don’t care what other people think, I’m just curious as I think MN isn’t usually representative of what I experience in real life when it comes to weddings. Generally I think this thread has been more relatable to me, a real mixed bag! I’ve generally enjoyed every wedding I’ve been to (some more than others of course). I’ve never had a problem paying for drinks at weddings (although I think drinks with meals should be included really) but we wanted an open bar and to pay for accommodation as quite a few people have travel (because we’re not from the same place,) so we wanted to keep costs and inconvenience down for our guests.

The amount spent on a wedding isn’t proportional to how good a day I’ve had. I’ve only ever raised eyebrows at people who have obviously decided they want a certain flashy wedding and then pass a lot of expense onto guests.

Mine was in the region of £10k ish for 80 people and that was 15 years ago. Which with inflation is about £15k now. That doesn't include the honeymoon though which was about £2k I think (DH arranged it)
I don't regret it. The majority of the costs was the venue, food and drink. We supplied 3 glasses of champagne, and 3 glasses of wine per person, but after that if they wanted more they had to buy it at the (reasonably priced) bar. We had a band (£800) my dress (£500) bridesmaid dresses (£200 each), they used their own shoes, invites were homemade (£50) no car, flowers (£300) no favors, hair (£100) did our own makeup, rings (£300), photographer (£800). Doesn't include DH's kilt as he already had it, and doesn't include my engagement ring or hen and stag nights, but they were local so not that expensive.

There is some very unpleasant judginess (and at times cultural insensitivity) towards big weddings, and on MN in particular there’s a puritanical streak in some posters who genuinely seem to think that their marriage is happier / stronger / more worthy because they had a very cheap or simple wedding. The factors which affect a long and happy marriage are complex and have very little to do with whether your legal marriage took place in your lunch hour before going back to work for the afternoon or during an exclusive hire of Blenheim Palace. I have friends who have done both and see no material difference in their marriages now.

I had neither of these extremes; we had a joyous mid-range £10kish wedding for eighty guests fourteen years ago, generously paid for by parents who didn’t expect any particular control over the day in return for their money. Have the day that you want and that you can afford and don’t go into debt. Weddings are wonderful celebrations of human optimism and I wish you every happiness!

I think spending lots doesn’t automatically equate to ‘flashy and show offy’

We just genuinely wanted to host a good party. That meant spending money on good food (local company) a free bar as people pay enough to attend. We had a band and a DJ. Then wanted to provide hotel accommodation for family travelling to London from up North.
Our venue was actually an old, empty building. So cost lots to do up (I underestimated how much!!).

We also wanted to provide transport from the registers office to the venue.

It just all adds up but I don’t think people would have thought it was flash.

Close to 100k for the events, clothes, jewelry, honeymoon. Silly money paid by parents, but I’m from a culture where extravagant weddings are the norm. I deeply regret it. Wish I had a a simple ceremony with close family only.

I don’t think that either- sorry if it came across that way! What I mean by that though is someone I know had a wedding which had clearly been designed based on a dream wedding she’d had in mind since she was a child. The problem was that they couldn’t really afford it so they ended up passing a lot of expense onto guests (very expensive drinks, required an overnight stay as it was in the middle of nowhere and not near where any guests live)) and scrimped on food and things that would make people comfortable, so there was lots of standing round with nothing to eat and nothing to do. The venue was also one that would have looked wonderful with 150+ guests but they only had 50 (15 of which were in the wedding party). It felt half empty any cold, but it was “flashy” in the fact that there were lots of decorations, flowers, expensive dresses and suits (although the bridal party had to pay for their own) and I’m sure it looked amazing in their photographs.

Your wedding sounds great and I agree that expenses mount up if you want to provide good hospitality. That said, I’ve had a brilliant time at wedding where everyone has brought a bottle rather than presents and had a buffet in a church hall.

£15k ten years ago for 80 people. That was for everything, venue, dress, flowers, food, music and free bar. We had a very cheap honeymoon though.

@Blondbombsite Ah yes those weddings can be awful. Especially making guests spend a fortune. I’ve also had a lovely time at BYOB weddings and lovely ones in a field and then camping. As long as the Bride and Groom are happy and not overstretching themselves then it shows. Plus thinking of guests. Not about ££.

10k, last year. It was a lot but I think spent it well with a bit of creativity. We had 55 guests, an open bar all day and night, a live band, a 3 course sit down and evening cold food hampers. Honestly, would do it again, we loved it.

28k September this year. 170 all day guest, ceremony in the hotel followed by plenty of free drinks and canapés whilst we took photos. We are very fortunate though that we didn’t have to pay for photos, video, ceremony music or cake as family members did all of these for us! We saved hard all though covid and so were able to pocket any gifts we got!

Honeymoon was about €7k on top but I wouldn’t change any of it for the world! Best day of my life so far.

Ours was £16k.

I'd spend it again if I could have the day back. Have lost so many people since that day - looking back at photos/video is bittersweet.

£4K 32 years ago. Seemed like a lot of money then!

About £40k I think.

We wanted lots of guests (250) but would have been happy with very low budget DIY. My father wanted a "decent" venue and catering and free bar etc.

He was paying, and he could easily and happily afford it. We're grateful for his generosity and have lovely memories of the day and a very happy marriage.

Under 1k. All inc.
Registry office. Nice bar after for a couple drinks.

4 years ago.
Destination wedding.
25 guests
£9k
Incl mini moon.

16 years ago now, cost about £20k. My parents paid some of the biggest bits (venue and catering) that was probably half the cost, ILs paid some other bits, we paid the rest. Jewish wedding, so more usual for us than that is for most people to have big parental contribution and quite a lot of parents' friends invited, but fully with our agreement. Primarily the cost was catering for c180 people, there wasn't anything 'flashy' about it other than, I guess, the size.

And yes, we are still married! It was the day we wanted. 🙂

£250 including lunch. It was brilliant.

Just under 1k
Register Office (250 inc everything approx)
Pub after with guests
Meal just us 2 in the evening. (£150)
My dress was just an occasion dress £50 in sale.
Dh already had suit (0)
Cake made by friend (£80)
Justhad to buy ties for the wedding (£25 ebay) party all others also had suit /trousers white shirts.
2 bridesmaids dresses were matalan £30 each. Ish.
Jewelery £30 m&s
Car was a family members.
Shoes dh (£50)
Me (15)
Bridesmaids had sandals (20 a pair)
Flowers myself and 2 small bridesmaids plus mens button holes ( £120 local business lady who was just starting and wanted a trial run)
And everything was perfect and matching. Bearing in mind the dress i chose was a specific shade of color.
And managed to get hair accessories, shoes to match all in sale from different cheap shops like matalan.
The ties were ebay store I ordered 1 at 1st and the color couldn't be closer if tried! So ordered the rest

0 pounds